Defeated by College Decision Results

Applying to College Admission Stories
41

@plantmap congrats on the double win: you have a world of great opportunities waiting for you to take advantage of them at UWi-M, AND you have done some really admirable adulting: you have stared down your disappointment, re-evaluated, and found a good path forward that you are stepping into with confidence.

Maturing is rarely easy- it’s usually a bump in the road that pushes us forward, and really, who likes the bumpy bits?!- but well done you for stepping up. It’s a great indicator that you will in fact bloom where you have chosen to plant yourself.

(& I am sure you know this, but just in case: you really are not settling at all: UWi-M is a top-15 engineering school. You will find yourself surrounded by some seriously capable students, so put your best foot forward when you get there!)

42

“I think I may have been a bit caught up on the prestige-whoring by some people on this board, at my school, etc.”

This. If you spend any time here, it’s very easy to get sucked into the idea that not getting into a top-tier school makes you a failure and having to “settle” for a state school (aside from a few elite ones) is the worst thing that could happen to you. UW is a very good school. My stepbrother went there and he loved it. You could do a hell of a lot worse.

College is what you make of it, and it sounds like you are already working on making it a great experience. Congratulations and good luck!

43

@plantmap A long time ago I faced a similar decision and ended up at my large flagship, which felt impersonal initially and wasn’t really what I had envisioned, given how hard I had worked in HS. It ended up being a great experience, in part due to the honors program. You asked upthread about how to get to know professors. It’s pretty easy - go to office hours, go to events sponsored by your major department, apply yourself to your classes. You’d be amazed by how many students don’t bother at a large place because it seems too daunting. You will also be surprised by how receptive most professors are when motivated students approach them.

I once did a summer course at Wisconsin and really enjoyed it. Have a great time!

44

If you knew what my godson is doing in his stem grad program at UW Madison, it would knock your socks so far off you’d probably never find them. Seriously. And he loves the school, the area, profs, peers and more. (This work would bowl over lots of CC stem adults, too.)

UW-M is a win.

You aren’t those other low key students who also got in.

45

This is a happy thread, as the OP was “defeated” on page 1 but is thrilled with her choice by page 3. As opposed to other threads where the OP (a different poster) is still miserable on page 10. I bet the OP will have a great time at UW-Madison (which is sometimes called the UW but never called UW-M, which is UW-Milwaukee).

46

You don’t mention AP exams and SAT subject tests. If they were like your SAT score, that could be a problem.

The ECs seem OK, but the top 20 schools you applied to also want test scores. The career oriented internship ECs also might not do as much for the application as you think.

I don’t understand applying to LACs if you are interested in engineering. Carleton seems like a good admit otherwise given the information you supply.

I don’t know if you are in state with Wisconsin and there is a cost issue. However, for lessons learned, if you got into Carleton, you might have been able to get into some state schools and engineering schools a little more competitive than Wisconsin. Wisconsin is a top university, even if it might not be all that competitive for undergraduate, so it doesn’t seem like a bad choice / result.

47

Lol, thanks Cheddar. We usually just call it Madison but I’m far away, no idea what’s right.

Yes, congrats to OP.

48

Hopefully you were involved in school and associated activities because you thought they were meaningful and/or you’d actually benefit from being involved in them. Odd to hear anyone not be thrilled to get into Madison. I know many students on the east coast who’d love to get into Madison. Sometimes it’s hard to appreciate things that are in our own backyard. In most high schools across the country, only outstanding students get admitted to Madison.

49

@plantmap
It seems that you’re happy with your decision now and there really isn’t any need for me to comment… but I’d like to do so regardless.

You are totally right about being caught up in the prestige of the schools that you applied to, and I ended up in that same trap. I thought I was the perfect candidate (don’t we all though!) with research experience, summer programs, a recent family hardship I didn’t mention in my application (and would feel too bad to take advantage of on my app), activities in school that promoted equality, unique sports, a job, and a whole slew of other activities that no one particularly cares about. I was rejected from 4 Ivies / Ivy-tier schools, and waitlisted to another 2 that have just about a 0% acceptance off the waitlist. I was accepted to 2 schools, a state school and a local research school.

I would have applied to more, but with near-hundred dollar application fees and no waivers for a solidly middle-class family, I was barred from doing so by my parents. It didn’t help my self-esteem that one girl in my school was accepted to three of the same schools I applied to and was posting on social media about how she had such a difficult choice to make (she’s super driven so I don’t question her ability to get in though).

I spent the weekend that I recieved most of my decisions (which was the same weekend I got my wisdom teeth removed, so the pain also SUCKED) in a state of either staring at the wall, crying, or wondering if there were any negative health effects of only eating mashed potato all weekend.

Now that I think back on it, the main reason I was so upset was because I felt I was “missing out” on many opportunities that only the Ivy leagues and those on the same prestige level could offer me.

I ended up choosing the research school, loving it and the people that are going there with me, and will submit my deposit there this week. While I still remain on the waitlist for the other two schools, I don’t think that I will make it off of the list, so I am focusing my excitement on the research school because I have many very intelligent friends that are going there and I might be accepted into the honors college (and here comes my love for the waitlist yet again).

In short, while my post was totally unnecessary, I think the thing that helped me get over the wave of disappointment and resentment towards one of my best friends was focusing on what I CAN do rather than what I MIGHT HAVE done. It seems to me from your posts that you are very driven and compassionate, so I have no doubt that if you maintain your love for the field, you can make a great impact however you choose. I’m so sorry about your family situation, but it is truly incredible that you managed to achieve so much during such a tough time in your life.

TL;DR: I think everyone’s college experience can suck if you even think about applying to ultra-competitive schools. Colleges that aren’t as prestigious can be better. Prove those who rejected you wrong by succeeding at the college you attend.

Good luck at UW-Madison and sorry for the book I wrote!

50

Congratulations on your hard work and your terrific choice. One point that I didn’t see addressed here is the assumption that a small LAC will have a better alumni network. Don’t underestimate the networks at public schools! Some large publics have earned a great deal of loyalty, and those networks can’t be beat in terms of sheer numbers.

51

@plantmap my daughter would tell you that it is tough to go from seeing your picture in the paper to getting heaps of rejection and faint praise from her safeties. But this result is the new normal. What is not, is you folks. I thought I was a bright, driven person in my teens. But if you are anything like my daughter, I pale in your light. I have to believe that you folks - you “unhooked” overachievers that someone tried to dismiss, will kick ass. Any where.

52

So here’s the thing: There’s this huge gap in difficulty of entrance between the very tippy-top and a good public (like UW-Madison) or a good honors program that isn’t anything like the rather small or nonexistent gap in opportunities and outcomes.

UW-Madison is one of the top engineering schools (and research universities) in the world and by alumni outcomes, also qualifies as a near-Ivy (so not on the same tier as the Ivies/equivalents but on the same tier as NYU and UCLA and actually do better than JHU/WashU/Vandy (possibly hurt by their big pre-med population):
http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/college-search-selection/1893105-ivy-equivalents-ranking-based-on-alumni-outcomes-take-2-1-p1.html

53

Unless that paper was the front page of the New York Times, @Gingerland, there’s no reason to think it would be instrumental in an Ivy acceptance. It is just very competitive out there, and the 100 largest cities in the US each have their share of superstars. Plus other places, of course

54

Bottom line is, I know a lot of brilliant students going to state schools next year. I also know a lot of really wonderful, funny, bright and talented kids going to schools I have never heard of in my life. You are all in good company.

For my kid, it’s always been about fit - just so happened that the schools in high demand felt like the better fits. It’s been a tough year. I don’t know if we’ve quite found the one - it seems like maybe we have, but if it doesn’t work out, there’s always transfer.

55

Thanks to everyone for all the positivity! I appreciate all the different perspectives and personal experiences, it all has been quite insightful. For those wondering, I live in MN so I get in-state tuition for UW Madison (it’s this agreement they have between UM and UW) which is good, but yeah I’ve been told that since UW Madison is so close to me I don’t realize how good of a school it is.

56

Yes, you do not give Madison the recognition it gets. It’s a very fine school and “Madtown” a great college town.

57

Because you want to go into engineering, those SLCs you applied to may actually have felt that they were not a good fit for you. Many of the country’s best engineering programs are at large public universities, and Madison is definitely one of those. The School of Engineering is highly regarded and extremely competitive to get into. I think you have landed in the right place!