Wait a second, are you saying that Exeter wants to hear from people who are not straight white boys? Seriously? What next, we’re gonna start respecting everybody? Not in this country!
A school can’t say they elevate or enlighten all kids when what they actually have is a hostile learning environment. You can’t teach respect if it’s only reserved for people who agree with you. No one should ever feel silenced, shamed or ridiculed in an academic environment for ANY reason . No one. If ONE kid goes to bed at night feeling like OP then Exeter has failed. Their mission statement isn’t worth the paper it’s written on. Plain and simple.
Raise. the. bar.
This is truly the dumbest time to be alive. The hypocrisy is mind-blowing and the lack of self-awareness is exhausting.
OP- My heart goes out to you. Be strong and don’t ever let anyone tell you what to think or how you should feel about anything. People ( young and old ) who shame others for their political beliefs are nitwits.
There’s absolutely no value there so ignore them.
be woke
Here are some recent articles/opinions in the Exonian about the discussions on campus that seemed to trigger the OP’s post.
I’ve read them both and the authors and students quoted seem to point out pros and cons to the day. They seemed balanced, thoughtful, and overall fairly articulate for high school students while representing different opinions. I didn’t see anything offensive in them.
https://theexonian.com/2017/09/28/discussing-racism-on-academy-life-day/
https://theexonian.com/2017/09/28/academy-life-day-spurs-discussion-of-racism/
For those of you mentioning “read the Exonian” as support of your view that PEA has gone to the dogs, please share with me what you find so offensive.
You seem to take umbrage at the assumptions made about you based on the fact that you’re conservative; is it fair to say you might be making some broad assumptions about other students based on their political affiliation or race, too?
Perhaps consider the idea that what you’re experiencing in the classroom - namely, attention to perspectives and experiences different from your own, and the expectation of respectful address and discourse surrounding those issues - truly is part of an education.
@appljuice007 “be woke” I hope you are being sarcastic.
@PhotographerMom is absolutely correct!
We are talking about a sophomore in high school being singled out for his beliefs. Why is it OK to ostracize or ridicule ANY high school student for this? (hint: it’s not)
And why in the world would PEA supplant Academy Life Day with, for lack of a better term, sensitivity training. You don’t “train” kids to get along with others, they need to live it. PEA is already a high pressure environment and students need time to mentally relax/refocus and bond with dormmates and peers. Time at the beach, or mini-golf/go-karts/batting cage/arcade games is a much better way to accomplish this. Given the existing diversity in the dorms, everyone will also “live it” – the getting along with others part…
OP - hang in there. Don’t get distracted and stay focused on your goals. PEA is a fantastic opportunity!
“For those of you mentioning ‘read the Exonian’ as support of your view that PEA has gone to the dogs, please share with me what you find so offensive.”
I’ve been doing a deep dive into the opinion pieces of the Exonian, just for fun. You could fill a few webpages with the PC drivel that literally oozes off those pages (if anyone really wants, I could post more choice morsels), but I like this one the best (so far), from May 2017, for its sheer, dripping condescension:
“Usually, when someone says something politically incorrect, it’s not because they want to hurt or offend someone; they say it out of pure ignorance. Therefore, in the case of correcting someone who said something ignorant, one should keep this in mind, and approach them while remembering this fact. Don’t get upset and attack them, because people will get defensive and not want to learn that what they did or said was wrong.”
https://theexonian.com/2017/05/04/the-right-approach-to-political-correctness/
Wherever would we be without these enlightened teenagers patiently, benevolently and magnanimously “correcting” their less enlightened classmates!
I’m honestly surprised you take issue with what is quoted in the post above. Isn’t that statement speaking directly in agreement with what the OP is complaining about? The OP is complaining about being attacked and ridiculed for his opinions. The statement quoted above I read as saying, “don’t be quick to judge someone, no offense was probably intended with what you are taking umbrage at”. So, how is that offensive or condescending? It is a student paper - hence, students talking to other students. That’s the source and the audience. To me it might seem obvious actually, but these are teenagers. It’s their voice.
Of all the things that might have been culled from the Exonian, I’m literally laughing at ^THAT^ as a cause of concern for anyone - especially a parent. Wow! If you can find such offense in those words, I’d look in the mirror and question your own oversensitivity.
Maybe the Exonian should be just fashion tips and the latest Hollywood gossip. Heaven forbid students write about their opinions on issues a tad heavier.
“You don’t “train” kids to get along with others, they need to live it.”
" Given the existing diversity in the dorms, everyone will also “live it” – the getting along with others part…"
I disagree with this line of thought. Of course, they’ll learn by living but the administration, IMO, also has a responsibility for “teaching” them through discussion and intentional focus, on how to live together. I’m pretty sure all boarding schools have some version of this kind of thing for new students, some kind of “living in community” type training, that addresses all kinds of issues - diversity, sex ed subjects, communication, handling conflict, etc.
Most of these students arrive on campus at 14, 15 years of age. They come from all kinds of backgrounds and experiences. For many, it is the first time away from family. For many, they are facing diversity they might not have been exposed to previously - religious, socioeconomic, racial, sexual, etc.
It behooves the school to bring up potential sources of conflict ahead of time for discussion and thought rather than waiting until something ugly is said or done and reactions, emotional or otherwise, take place. Students need both tools and experience to deal with their new environment. A school that chooses not to take an active approach to addressing things is negligent IMO. The faculty and administrators have been around the block a few times. They have seen a lot so I give them some credit for knowing what the hot buttons probably are. Their responsibility is to an environment where ALL students’ comfort is considered.
Students do frequently make inappropriate remarks and actions, often based on their own naivete and inexperience, ones that are often unintentional hurtful and inconsiderate to others.
When you send your child to boarding school, you are abdicating parenting of your kids to the school to a certain extent. Boarding schools are not just about academic, classroom instruction. It is development of the complete person. To use the motto of one boarding school, NMH, it is education of the head, heart, and hand.
If you object to much about the environment at a given boarding school, best not to have your children there.
I think mistakes are made when families choose schools based on prestige instead of fit part of which comes with sharing the school’s total educational philosophy (which is different than sharing the same stance on everything with the administration).
OP. From the articles posted above in the Exonian, it seems like this Academy day would have been a good time for you to bring out that you feel persecuted for your opinion. I can understand that the day was not the fun day that you had planned for but you should have used this time to have the dialogue that this day was meant for. The articles mention that people brought up other issues such as sexism. This was a day for people to talk about feelings and how they do not feel they have a say. Maybe you should reach out to the administration and see if your group can have the same type of school dialogue. @Center son is there and seems to share your same beliefs. Maybe she can put you in touch with him and his friends and you all can brainstorm ways to have your voices heard.
Haven’t read all the posts yet, but I will note that…true tolerance includes tolerating other points of view. It is OK to be conservative, liberal, or somewhere in between. Just because someone is conservative does not mean he/she/it is a racist or a rapist or anything bad at all.
I think it’s important that schools allow diversity of opinion and tolerance of varied politics, which, after all is why we live in a democracy. This is part of the educational process and why the schools seek to have a diverse population.
Taking down pictures of past presidesnts of the school is ridiculous and some sort of attempt to hide history. I think OP gives valuable insights and perhaps some will not apply and rightfully so. A “top school” should not be operating like this.
“Taking down pictures of past presidents of the school is ridiculous and some sort of attempt to hide history. I think OP gives valuable insights and perhaps some will not apply and rightfully so. A “top school” should not be operating like this.”
Have the paintings been taken down yet? Or is there just dialogue around it? Too very different things. The administration can’t just snuff out any voices calling for it. Silencing bright teenagers and censoring such dialogue and their own rights to free speech and the expression of their opinions doesn’t work at all. A very slippery slope.
For those quick to criticize the discussion, what would you propose the administration do at this juncture?
I am sympathetic to the view that some schooling environments can be uncomfortable and unwelcoming to conservatives and christians. Similarly, some colleges and grad programs don’t seem that welcoming to veterans.
But I think that a previous poster is right:
especially since the early posts of the OP referred to the word ■■■■■■ and also he or she seemed so horrified at having to identify his or her preferred pronoun. There is some learning that can take place at that school for the OP.
@doschicos asked : How is that offensive or condescending? Easy. Exeter is defining or allowing their students to define what " ignorance " means and that’s something that should always remain in the hands of an individual to determine. That fundamental right ( to find your own truth unencumbered ) is something that should be considered sacred at all costs- especially in an academic setting. Maybe Exeter is having a momentary lapse in academic excellence ( which is charitable in this particular case ) but I’m not hearing a full throated endorsement of respectful discourse here. I did, however, find inadequate window-dressing for pseudo intellectual oppression and Groupthink which was obvious and a little disappointing.
If you allow others to define or determine everything for you including who you are or how you should relate to others … who you vote for… whatever it is… Why bother going on the journey? Someone has already taken the journey off the table and framed your worldview for you - right? If that’s the environment you want your kids to learn in that’s your business ( Godspeed ) but I have a little more faith in my kids and our belief system and they don’t need any unsolicited input or “direction” from peers or anyone else.
Exeter is allowing a free press on campus by not censoring student voice in a campus newspaper.
Unless you yourself attended the events at the day in question how do you know that it wasn’t respectful discourse at the event? Let alone “pseudo intellectual oppression” and “Groupthink”. Just the word choice is what I find oppressive here. What is the basis for arriving at such conclusions? Are the words “political correctness” in a student publication such trigger words that the response is this?
Are you not capable of envisioning situations whereby a student could make a comment to another student that isn’t aware or appropriate? A stereotype, a comment about hair, one of dozens of things that another student might not even be aware is offensive? Such things go on all the time. Discussions will be had about them. Best that kids are armed with tools in their toolbox for such discussions. If, after 14 years, you don’t trust your children to live in an environment where they are exposed to other opinions and ideas, you should either keep them home or find an environment which measure with you worldview. Maybe they’ll even use corporal punishment on your kids to get them to do things the adults want. 
I haven’t read the whole thread, but it par and course for what is going on in American society today. Without getting political, let’s just say there are those that further division, and a few trying to heal the schism so that we can solve problems.
You really have two choices. You can continue on your current track, hiss and moan about the injustice, continue to fight for your right (pun intended), diss your school, and just be miserable but right (there is that pun again).
Or you, you can take another tack and keep your opinions to yourself, develop relationships and friendships with folks on both sides of the divide, and then quietly, and only with people you respect and trust, discuss your opinions.
We’ve always encouraged our kids to do the latter. I truly believe that there are intelligent people who can learn something from each other if they would only calm down and listen to each other. I would say that our kids have had moderate success with this approach, though I would say that our kids, despite being on the capitalist end of liberal, have had more trouble with friends on the socialist end of the spectrum who demonize the pursuit of profit making ventures, than on the traditional Republican right. Neither of my Ds have any friends on the populist right or alt-right. You really can’t communicate with people on a confrontational basis.
Another quick thought re: PEA. HARKNESS. Their website says it, but are they embracing it?
https://www.exeter.edu/exeter-difference/how-youll-learn
"Exeter’s Harkness method, established in 1930 with a gift from Edward Harkness, a man who believed learning should be a democratic affair, is a simple concept: Twelve students and one teacher sit around an oval table and discuss the subject at hand.
What happens at the table, however, is, as Harkness intended, a “real revolution.” It’s where you explore ideas as a group, developing the courage to speak, the compassion to listen and the empathy to understand.
It’s not about being right or wrong.
It’s a collaborative approach to problem solving and learning. We use it in every discipline and subject we teach at Exeter."
Re: Harkness in Practice
I found this Exonian opinion piece illuminating and relevant for the current discussion:
"Under these conditions, the conversation bloomed and soon the class was discussing delicate issues ranging from race relations to immigration under the Trump Administration. The discussion was contentious, yes, but it wasn’t emotional or loud. Students didn’t attack each other, but rather questioned and built off each other. It was, by all means, civil debate.
And then our teacher weighed in. While I won’t name that teacher in this article, her response made me ponder her role in that Harkness discussion. She didn’t say anything more radical or much different than many of the other students. However, coming from her, they bore weight and finality.
A student sitting next to me subtly slid me a note that read: “I’m a Trump supporter. But if I defend him she’s going to hate me.”
https://theexonian.com/2017/02/02/should-teachers-offer-their-political-opinions/
@doschicos You were “literally” laughing at post # 67 and I was addressing why ^THAT^ may have been a concern for some people- especially parents . If the default is always a weasel response like "keep them home " or " send them somewhere else " it’s pointless to continue unless you care to defend kids making other kids feel excluded because of their personal or political beliefs.
Here’s one more thing I want to know : How does someone saying " Let me educate you " promote healthy relationships and an open dialogue? 