Ok, I’m sorry for the long post but I really need to talk about this:
All high school, I worked so hard because I wanted to get into a good college. I joined extracurriculars that I thought would “look good”, I put in so much work (I was always the kid that had panic attacks before every test) and I took countless practice ACT and SAT exams. I tried my very hardest and ended up with three leadership positions, a 3.65 UW GPA, a 30 ACT and 2000 SAT. Those are good, but not great stats. Still, I felt like I put in so much work that I deserved to at least apply to some prestigious colleges This year I applied to 19 colleges. I know it was a bad idea and I regret it so much but I thought I would get into at least one of them, after all I had tried so hard. I was rejected at every single prestigious college I got into and was accepted to the dreaded safety- my local public college.
Well, yesterday was awful. I had to wear that stupid shirt and I know that there’s nothing wrong with my college but I just really don’t want to be going there at all next fall. I wanted to move away from home and the university is literally 15 minutes from my house. It’s way too big and I think I’ll be a horrible fit there. All I can think about is how much I’d like to redo this year and I feel like such a failure. Everyone at my school looked down on me because, in my state, the college is largely viewed as a last resort for people not accepted elsewhere/ a match for the jocks. Even though it’s a pretty good school, it’s just not respected for some reason. I felt so ashamed and depressed that I had to go to the bathroom and I just sobbed my eyes out. I could have put in 25% of the effort I did and gotten into this college. I know that transferring is always a possibility but all the colleges I think I’d like to go to and I think I can get into only take fall transfers which means I’m stuck for a whole year in this hellhole. Please don’t tell me I will grow to love it because I am very familar with the campus and have always grown up hating it and praying I won’t have to go there.
I feel so depressed and that anything I do is just a waste. Please don’t call me stupid for applying to so many reach schools because I’ve already been called that by my entire high school. I just wanted to reach out to anyone else who had a bad day yesterday because it felt like everyone was happy but me. Did anyone else have a similar experience on May 1?
So you got rejected at 18 colleges and accepted at one (the safety)? That’s hard; I’m sorry. Did you get any merit scholarships? Honors college?
Did you consider taking a gap year and reapplying to colleges?
What is the college, by the way.
@albert96 I received $800 in need-based aid and didn’t get into the honors college. I wanted to take a gap year but my parents aren’t keen on the idea at all and I personally feel like I’d just waste a year of my life so I don’t think it’s worth arguing. Thanks for your reply
The college is the University of Minnesota. Yes, it’s a big 10 school and offers a lot of great opportunities but it’s just way too big for me, way too close to home and doesn’t have the major I want (environmental science.) I wanted to apply at UW-Madison but I missed the deadline and they only take fall transfers. I’m dreaded applying anywhere ever again though
Can you take a gap year, working and/or volunteering in the interim, and then apply to a more balanced list next year?
I know that a lot of people on CC are going to tell you to get over it. Well, yeah, we’re seventeen years old- we don’t exactly have a lot of perspective, and this is our first real rejection.
Yesterday was “wear your college gear” day at my school too, and it was hard for me, because I’m taking a gap year to reapply because I was very unsuccessful this year, and I was searching for the wrong things when I made my college list. I made the mistake of using my mediocre guidance counselor (poor guy has like 80 students to take care of, so I wasn’t really his top priority) instead of looking to CC for some help. For me, I think it’s harder to talk to the adults at our school about it, because they seem to have a very strong stigma against gap years. They talked to me condescendingly, as if getting rejected meant that I’m lazy or unintelligent when in reality I was just unlucky in the crap-shoot world of top colleges. Where I live, your college is part of your identity; it’s how people evaluate your intelligence and your drive.
I think this feeling will go away once you get out of high school. High school is a place where people are very judgemental, very cliquey, and very unkind. I think once you get to your flagship, you’ll be able to meet other people like you, find your niche, and succeed. Wallow for a few days if you need to, and then pick yourself up and look to your (bright) future.
@qwerty568 Thanks for your reply. I totally understand that feeling when people just smirk when they hear where I’m going to college. I’m glad someone else is in a similar situation. I know people at my high school are pretty dismissive about gap years too (I think it’s a good idea sometimes) but I hope you’re able to ignore their judgemental attitudes
If you don’t want to go to the University of Minnesota, then don’t go! Take a year off and reapply, seriously.
That said, let me just share my personal situation. I had great stats (800s on five SAT subject tests, 2330 SAT, 9 AP 5s, etc), applied to 26 colleges, and was accepted to most of them, including Amherst, Notre Dame, University of Minnesota for Chemical Engineering with a nice scholarship, University of Virginia Rodman Scholar, and many others. I was waitlisted at Princeton, Columbia, Dartmouth, and Cornell, and was rejected from MIT.
Where did I commit yesterday? I committed to the University of Kentucky, accepting the National Merit scholarship in order to study chemical engineering and music. It was hard to turn down my dream school, Notre Dame, which gave a lot of financial aid (both need based and merit based), but ultimately I felt I would be as happy at UK while incurring no debt. No, it’s not prestigious, and my snobbish parents think I’m an idiot to go to UK, but I liked the atmosphere and felt like it would offer me everything I need to get a great education. I’m super psyched for the next four years! I might add that when I filled out the housing application, I was contacted by another National Merit Finalist who turned down Duke to commit to UK. We’ll be rooming together in the fall.
I’m just sharing my story because it sounds like you’re worried about there being a lack of prestige at Minnesota to attract the best students, but I want you to know that plenty of us end up in my situation and still decide to attend state schools. I suspect you’re going to like Minnesota more than you think, however, I’d definitely consider taking a year off if you’re just going to be miserable.
Never mind what others think. If none of them are going to that college, it’s not like you will have to see them once high school is over. They don’t have to define you if you don’t let them. I’m sure you can be happy at the school if you try. Find some activities that you like and get involved.
Going to college at all is a blessing.
@awesomest47 Are you saying that other kids are actively coming up to you harassing you and calling you stupid? What kind of school do you go to? We have friends who are cardiologists and sent their daughter there because they thought it was a good school. Get over the prestige crap and get on with the business of learning.
Transfer after a year if you don’t like it. A good lesson for anyone reading this thread - always find some safeties to love - they are definitely out there. It’s a shame that the ‘prestigious’ colleges are hyped up when there are so many excellent choices out there. By the way, your local ‘college’ has a 44% acceptance rate so I don’t think it’s just for jocks or those with low academic scores. I think with an attitude adjustment, you might just enjoy it there!
Let me say first that I think the University of Minnesota is a simply splendid institution and I know many wonderful high-achieving students who have loved it there. So before I discuss other options, I’ll admit that I’m hoping you can get past the “too close to home” syndrome and embrace this opportunity. We rarely have much perspective on the colleges geographically closest to us. I remember (many years ago) feeling (quite absurdly) that I would miserable if I had to attend the university next door–even though that university was UC Berkeley! But here are two things to consider: 1. On May 6th there will be a list issued (from the NACAC) of colleges that still have room in their freshman class and are still accepting applications. So it isn’t actually too late to apply elsewhere for this fall. 2. Gap years can be great. Really great. You just need to embrace it as an opportunity to do something really interesting or productive with your time, rather than viewing it as a wasted year focused only on reapplying. 3. Giving Minnesota a try and then transferring if you are unhappy is a perfectly good plan.
I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide to do, and your hard work in HS will not be wasted no matter where you end up!
@awesonest47 Environmental science is a common major and not only does UMinn at Twin Cities have it but it looks like all the branches have it also.
http://www.espm.umn.edu/espm-tracks/es
That sounds very, very rough.
Is there anyway you could go to a different branch of University of Minnesota? (I apologize if that is not how it works, I don’t really know.) Then you could be a little farther away from home- and the previous poster said ES is available on all campuses.
People are side-eyeing you for going to a state university? Honestly, you should be glad to just be getting away from those people.
Best of luck! (:
Also your hard work was NOT wasted! You took your education seriously, something that will prepare you to do well in college. Many people who just coast in highschool have difficulty transitioning to college life. Your habits and attitude will serve you well going forward.
Give University of Minnesota a chance!
Thanks everyone for all the support! I feel privileged to have so many people who really care about my upcoming college semester. I felt alone at high school yesterday but I’m so glad now that I have all the caring people here on CC.
@gearmom Thank you so much for finding that! I didn’t even realize the U had a college of food, agricultural and natural science resources. I just assumed it would have either been in the College of Liberal Arts or the College of Biological Sciences. Even better news, I looked at the admissions statistics for each of the university’s individual colleges and if I could get into the CLA, the environmental science program should be a shoo-in.
I’m really starting to warm up to the University of Minnesota. I think that being on a large campus will give me all sorts of opportunities I wouldn’t get at some other schools. Also, in state tuition is a huge plus and when I think about it, the UMN is honestly a better fit than Madison for me- I know for sure that I want to go to college in an urban (not a college town area) and I’m not too excited by the notorious party scene.
So as of now, I am excited about being at UMN next year and I’ll start working on my transfer form to the department I want. I will remain on the UChicago waitlist (sorry I didn’t tell you guys about that, I just treated it like a rejection) but I’m not going to put too much importance on that one. I’m just pleased that the University of Minnesota saw potential in me and I’ll focus on that.
Also, my neighbor is ironically hosting her party for accepted Minnesota applicants to Harvard (a school I was rejected at) right now. She’s the alumni president for the area I live… but I ain’t even mad! Thanks so much for all the help everyone!
Excellent turnaround! I hear terrific things about UMN, and, although we’re focused more on small LACs right now, it has the kind of rep that put it on the list of schools we’d stop to visit if coming in to the area from out of state. Enjoy! (And trust us all when we tell you that whatever anybody in HS thinks will matter not one little bit to your future.) Not. One. Bit. Enjoy!
Both of my kids went to the same large Uni. They made the school smaller by making friends at their respective EC. No matter where you go (small or big), you will only able to make a handful of close friends.
My older one had similar story as you. She worked her butt off in college, did all the right stuff, and was aiming for some tippy top schools. On the decision day, she was rejected and wait listed at all but the bottom 3 on her list. She was so distraught, when the results came out, she was hyperventilating and breathing into a bag. She cried herself to sleep that night and didn’t go to school the next day. We still remember it as one of the worst days.
Fast forward, she got off one of her WL. It wasn’t her first choice. As a matter of fact, she only applied because I asked her. She fell in love with the school the first week she was there. She said she had the best 4 years of her life there. I think in high school she thought she deserved to be at a “better” school because of how hard she worked. Now she will tell you that things happen for a reason. She met her BF (probably soon to be her finance), many of her life long friends, and got a great job after graduation.
OP - try to go in with an open mind, keep up with your grades, because if it doesn’t work out then you will have better option of transferring to another school.
Have a great summer.
I’m so glad you feel better about your situation! Hope you have a great time at Minnesota! (:
I read your post, and honestly I totally understand you. It was a very similar situation for me, but I applied to about 8 colleges, 7 of them being very prestigious. I guess I had a lot of high hopes for myself, and my parents encouraged me to apply to only these schools (which now I sorely regret). I got into a public college in my state, which isn’t a bad school, but also isn’t the school I really wanted to go to. I REALLY wanted to go out of state. I felt like a failure after my rejections- for being such a good student with a round set of extracurriculars and a really high GPA, I felt like total crap. But honestly, these people are right. You can always transfer after your first year if you really don’t like that school. The possibilities are really endless, and maybe you’ll end up actually enjoying your freshman year at The University of Minnesota! Personally I believe that each person is meant to have a plan in their lives, and you should trust yours. I got waitlisted at Cornell, and I sent them a bunch of updates in hope that they will consider accepting me. The chances are really low, so I’m not expecting much, but at least I can have a little hope. The point is to not give up because people like me have felt the same way that you do. Good luck!