Did I switch rooms for the wrong reason?

Hi all,

I was originally in an eight-person suite at my college in which the eight of us would be sharing one bathroom. I did not like the idea of eight guys sharing one bathroom. This bathroom was tiny, with one toilet, one sink, and one shower. Yesterday, at the last minute, after some contemplation, I switched to a four-person suite, which had a bigger dorm, as well as a bigger bathroom with two sinks, two toilets (in closed stalls), and one shower. I have a new roommate who I’ve yet to meet, but he was assigned to me based on my preferences.

In short, my mom is furious about my decision. She thinks that it was ridiculous for me to switch to a completely new dorm with a roommate who is a complete stranger, who she believes could potentially be racist–I’m half white and half black, and I found him on Facebook, and he is white–towards me, psychopathic, a partier, or contain some other attribute that could make rooming with him difficult. She thinks that I should have stuck with my roommate, who was Asian, who I had already met but still didn’t know much about.

I feel guilty. I also feel like I’ve started my college career off with a bad decision, and I have very high expectations for myself, so that stings quite a bit. I thought that if I had the opportunity to switch to a more comfortable dorm–one that would help make my transition to my first year easier–then I should seize that. However, now I’m not so sure.

It’s not too late to switch back to my old dorm, and I’m wondering if I should do that to placate my mom.

Any advice, thoughts, opinions are really appreciated.

P.S. I politely informed my roommate of my decision, and made sure it was clear that I was not switching dorms because of him, and he was not upset at all. He’s actually hoping he’ll get to keep a single room now.

I don;t think you made the wrong choice. You just wanted to be more comfortable. Why would your Asian roommate be less of a psychopath, partier, or racist than the white one? You don’t know either of them.

You don’t live with your mom anymore. You don’t need to placate her.

I would say that you made a good decision. If you plan to spend a lot of time in your dorm studying, eating, etc. then you want to be comfortable in your room. Trust me, the 1 bathroom for 8 people situation would have gotten old really fast. I think it is very important to be comfortable in your dorm, and that your decision reflects that. Give the new roommate a chance and if there are problems, have the RA help you figure things out.

You made a perfectly fine decision, and there’s nothing wrong with rooming with a stranger. If you feel like the bathroom situation would really hinder your college experience, then you’re totally entitled to switch. Don’t listen to your mom. Best of luck!

I think you made the right choice FOR YOU…and if you do have a problem with your new roommate you can usually switch after the first semester. Most people have complete strangers as roommates.

Also as far as anyone at school…they will have no idea what happen. You could reach out to your former roommate and just let them know you changed because of the 8 people 1 bathroom situation.

I think a lot of moms would understand your bathroom logic.

It sounds a little like your mom is trying to figure out where to channel some general anxiety about sending you off to college. FWIW, I think you made a totally reasonable decision. And remember: it’s your life, not your mom’s.

Your decision was logically sound, I wouldn’t worry about it too much. It sounds like your mother is projecting.

You made the right decision. 8 people? Too crowded.