I HAVE suggested to my daughter that she think about a job that’s flexible for when she has kids. As much as things have changed, it will probably still be on her to be the primary caretaker of her kids (I know, it’s not always true, but…). I think being a photographer could work out well for her. I was so fortunate that we could start a business that we ran out of our house. I could work weird hours and always make it to the kids’ games and events.
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Yes. I try not to judge a young person’s choice because I can acknowledge that people have different priorities.
Yet I wrote “try” because I’m willing to admit I sometimes have to bite my tongue and just hope this individual I care about has thought through and considered the implications of their decision.
I don’t think that people need to be passionate about their careers. There is nothing wrong with having a job that feels merely fine while being fulfilled by your life outside of work. Not every job has to feel glorious though I hope my children find work that is enjoyable. I certainly hope that they don’t hate their jobs given my own experience when I’ve hated or felt burnt out by a job. As another poster put it, life is too short to be unhappy 8-10 hours per day.
In the ideal world, along with financial security, it would be great to have it all --that is 1) an enjoyable career, 2) a great life outside of work, and 3) a good work-life balance. In the real world, most people are very fortunate it have 2-3 of those things and some people end up having to settle for 0-1.
Nevertheless, it seems odd to assume that it is necessary to sacrifice studying something you enjoy (or finding a career that you genuinely enjoy) in order to achieve an acceptable standard of living. That has just not been at all true for most of the people that I know.***
If there is anything that I have pushed as a parent is that I want my kids to genuinely enjoy learning (solving problems, reading, discovering, exploring). All of my kids do well in school, and I like to think it is because they like learning not because they are aiming for some prestigious school or a path to a wealthy life. I hope that college and career will end up the same. They will do well in whatever they study and they will eventually succeed in their careers because their focus has on topics and paths that they like well enough to devote lots of time and energy to that field.
***On the other hand, I know very few people who work in big corporations so perhaps that explains my limited view on the topic. I had always assumed that people who work for corporations chose that path because they actually enjoy the work. I didn’t think it was all about money. “Severance” on Apple TV depicts a whole different perspective on that topic, but I assume (hope) that the show is just sci-fi, and not so much a metaphor for real people’s lives in the corporate world. 
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Can you share location? In affluent Chicago suburbs, mostly psychologists (not psychiatrists) top out around $200/hour. Which is less than some tutors and college counselors cost 
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I do know lots of middle aged people in medium/large corporations. Most were not forced (in the lower tuition era) to major in anything by parents, went to state colleges (so little debt). Had a good time in college for the most part but didn’t find their passion. That is ok, they support their families and have retirement to look forward to. Derive joy outside work. I think that is ok.
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NYC 
I know of one who started at a large hospital chain (the chain charged $300/h) and then went private at same rate. Was able to take patients (not sure why no non-compete). Charges the same, blend of in person and zoom.
From talking to friends, $300 is pretty standard. I don’t know why there hasn’t been more downward pricing pressure given zoom.
And yes, that is less than what some counselors and tutors charge!
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I have found in my own family that there are kids who do well at school but are not passionate about learning or anything at all school-related (or music or sports).
I loved school, and I loved learning about things (and loved being tested) without developing a passion to do anything in particular.
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I (English major) hated every minute of my soul-sucking tech career and started planning for retirement from the first day of my first job. DH (Econ/poli sci major) did not hate his management consulting job, but he was on the road 100% of the time for his last 17 years. It got so old. We both went for the money, perhaps because we both grew up so poor. We definitely did NOT want this for our son and drilled into him to find his passion and never look back, definitely in the “love what you do and you’ll never work a day in your life” camp. Neither of us would choose what he chose, but we envy his intense focus and love of his work. Money has never been his driver though he will do fine.
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I know a local private college counselor who charges $300/hour. That’s just one person, maybe some others charge more or less here.
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There is a wide range between living your dream job and hating every minute of what you do. There’s also a difference between people who are able to change jobs, companies, etc. even shifting gears a little can keep things fresh.
I don’t love my job, but I don’t hate it. It’s ok. I like the people I work with, and that makes it enjoyable. But also what makes it tough during covid/certain elections. But I’ve also worked in the same cube for 25 years doing the same thing. I only had one opportunity to move up and I didn’t take it. The pay wasn’t worth the extra stress at a time when I wanted to be there for my kids’ last years at home. I don’t know if I will have another chance to move up before I retire.
So feeling stuck can make the job seem tough. I can’t leave because my pension, which isn’t great, would take too big of a hit. (Roughly 5% a year you leave early). I also suspect many doctors fall into this category. 25-30 years of doing the exact same thing can take its toll.
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I had a reply all written and then saw that several others already posted essentially the same thing.
Not everyone has a passion, and passions and priorities change. Some of us never figure out what we want to be when we grow up. I gave up trying to figure that out somewhere around the age of 50 
, and decided to concentrate on the pleasures I got outside of work. And that’s okay.
We all make the best decisions we can with the information we have at the time. If I had it to do over again, I’d make entirely different education and career choices. And that contributes to why I believe in helping young people get as much info as they can then let them make their own decisions.
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My kids and my sister’s kids have made it clear that they do not care about making a lot of money. They want just enough to get by. They value their free time more than working many hours a week.
But what if what you love to do is not something that anyone will pay you for?
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Passion is the most overused word, I told one of my daughters to remove this kind of word in her essays, but they were teens so it’s understandable that they wrote something like that. I think the same can be said about careers, find something you like doing is a better advice. Some aspects of it you might not like, but the bulk of it you should enjoy doing.
I too enjoyed studying engineering and got very good grades in my undergraduate, I was able to focus on the subject, that’s a big thing for a person with undiagnosed ADHD.
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The problem is often more to do with not being talented enough to make money doing what you love. For example 20 years who would have expected people to make money playing computer games or snowboarding? 50 years ago, assembling personal computers was a hobby not a job.
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Then you’ll do something else. Obviously. I did.
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Two kids - one went the typical structured process (finance and got a great job). The other is a musical theater kid who has always wanted to be in theater, ALWAYS! She has no plan B and we’ve been in total support of that. Would even be fine with her taking time away from school if she landed a part in something that she really wanted. Would like her to ultimately finish because I sense she’ll want to teach at the college level after her primary performing days are over, so having the degree would be helpful. Going to be a tough road economically but she knows that and is a hard worker. Not above any menial jobs to support herself if needed.
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What do they do with that free time? Is it used for “passion” projects? Do they have specific goals they want to achieve?
I’m interested whether people structure their free time around achievements and targets and may almost treat that as a substitute for career ambitions. I grew up like that (eg with lists of mountains to climb, countries to visit) and still need similar motivations for exercise etc (this year it is doing the John Muir Trail with my D).
A friend’s kid decided that after college he was going to visit every national park (and actually got a related job afterwards as a result). But a lot of people seemed to think of that as a bit weird.
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How many of the parents here who say to let kids do whatever they love would be satisfied if their kids played computer games all the time?
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My son’s passion is helping other people, like refugees. That’s what he did in Beirut and now what he hopes to do in Warsaw. He is really excellent and making personal connections and supporting people in need.
My daughter’s passion is fine arts photography. She knows she’s not good enough at this point to make a living at it, but she has rented a tiny studio with a friend and will do what she can. She knows she has to keep her “day job” for security and benefits.
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