<p>It may indeed be the best thing for you to finish this school year as well as you can, and then take a leave from your college - a gap year or two - work somewhere, travel, support yourself. Then you will know whether you care enough about another school to apply as a transfer, or do you prefer to finish at the college you started in. If you decide to do something like this, you will gain in maturity and independence and school will be, after such a year or two, something that you look at as your choice and your opportunity. If you think that you might still want to transfer, ask the faculty you worked well with to write letters of rec. now. Memory fades and it is better that they have letters for you on their hard drives - when the time comes they can just update the letter. While away (if you go) keep in touch with those on campus whom you found congenial and helpful. Good luck! - It seems to me that your thoughts are going in the right direction.</p>
<p>“and school will be, after such a year or two, something that you look at as your choice and your opportunity.”</p>
<p>Exactly…</p>
<p>It’s not the poverty that is alluring (that’s the unfortunate aside), but the fact that you are making something for yourself from scratch. You know, making bread out of dough rather than a sandwich out of bread (sometimes the bread-making is more rewarding, if more simple). IF the problem is that you feel like you need to “own” your choices and empower yourself, and the problem is not a bad marriage or anger at one’s parents or anything of the sort, then perhaps the “geographic cure” is indeed something to consider for some people. </p>
<p>mom2collegekids - no, no financial trouble. They told me that I had an equal chance of failure everywhere - possibly more chance of failure at the better school - and they would waste less money if they sent me someplace cheaper. My Dad was a strong proponent of the community college’s honor’s program for as long as I can remember. It was his only college suggestion.</p>
<p>I believe a lot of college stuents are not getting what they want out of their education, and all kinds of things. Is the answer really to just stay put and FORCE it to work? Maybe for some people. But I believe there must be a more creative (and possibly more effective) solution.</p>
<p>Well then…can you come up with a strategy to make lemonade out of lemons?</p>
<p>How will your grades be for this semester? </p>
<p>If you did well your first semester, then how do you have a 2.0 C average - unless you failed some classes?</p>
<p>How many credits will you have at the end of this semester? How many credits can you take each semester (assuming a mix of hard and easier courses)? </p>
<p>Can you take some summer classes?</p>
<p>collegebust, You wrote,</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Now you are speaking in more general terms and asking general questions. Of course the answer is not for everyone to stay where they are. You know that. </p>
<p>You’re a bright woman who has allowed herself to wind up with a “C” average and, in your own words, your excuse is that a disappointment from three years ago “never wore off.”</p>
<p>Frankly, I think you are changing your story in terms of motivation and responsibility in reaction to things you don’t want to hear so you can get to what you do want to hear, which is that it’s a great idea to take off without addressing how you got to this point. I’m not going to say that to you, so I’ll bow out now and wish you all the luck in the world.</p>
<p>" in your own words, your excuse is that a disappointment from three years ago “never wore off.”"</p>
<p>No, that was not my own words. </p>
<p>The initial post addressed two separate things.</p>
<ol>
<li>C average </li>
<li>dissatisaction and disappointment with my current college, despite very strong attempts to make it work</li>
</ol>
<p>I never said I blamed one on the other, though the two could have some overlapping points.</p>
<p>I could see you were tending in the hard and fast direction, which is why I opened the convo up and tried to make it more broad. The analysis was simply getting too simplistic/one-sided for my tastes, and I wanted to see other points of view. I thank you sincerely for your advice but please don’t put words in my mouth.</p>
<p>Collegebust, learning is a two way street. The teacher and student have got to both be engaged in the process. </p>
<p>At this point you have decided to not be engaged in your education. </p>
<p>Take a leave of absence for a semester. Get a job, be productive and set your sights on your future.</p>
<p>Just know that most young people at some point question the road they are on and become disillusioned. The trick is to keep moving forward,to keep learning.</p>
<p>You sound like such a loser, OP. No offense. Get over yourself, it could be much worse. :rolleyes:</p>
<p>^You don’t make yourself out to sound much better.</p>
<p>I think a lot of people feel burnt out from college/life/what have you. I think there is a more constructive way of providing advice for this than “you could have it much worse.” </p>
<p>For example:</p>
<p>This may involve taking a break and working. I think that is a good suggestion.</p>
<p>It may involve not just taking a break and working, but also working to pay one’s way through school. </p>
<p>It may involve relocating. </p>
<p>This may involve going to community college to get one’s confidence back up. </p>
<p>It may for some people also involve just plowing ahead. </p>
<p>I don’t think exploring options is a loser-ish thing to do. Making fun of people who are exploring their options, on the other hand, is pretty lame.</p>
<p>I would really like this thread to be a discussion on the pros and cons of different options people who aren’t doing well in school/don’t like school have, and with the assumption that said person in general enjoys school/learning/etc. So far it has tended pretty well in that direction, so thank you to those parents.</p>
<p>The thing that I would tend to worry about…I have seen so many people take that break from college–and never go back. Taking a low wage job for awhile, ending up getting married and trying to provide for a family. Stuck in the low wage job market forever. It took my sister 20 years to finish her accounting degree, and by that time, people don’t want to hire a 45 year old new graduate. It is SO much easier to get it done when you have low responsibilities. I think it drives her crazy how easy it would have been, right after high school. So hard to do while working full time and raising a family.</p>
<p>Actually, moving to a different environment does perk things up for awhile. Change can be good. If you were my sister/daughter, I would suggest…is there an area of the country that you’ve always wanted to explore, maybe eventually end up at? Hopefully with a few people you know well for company and moral support? Could you consider taking a part time job and transferring to a state college there? While you are young, this is the time to explore different opportunities, new places. But unless you are doing something very specific-internship, volunteering or traveling overseas, with an exact college plan…it is extremely hard to go back to school. So much better to keep taking at least a few classes!</p>
<p>Take a day to visit a military recruiter. Have him/her tell you stories about the kids who have zero options for an education because their families have zero resources. Then join up, or get to work at the school you are fortunate enough to attend. Good luck.</p>
<p>^The military is a great option for many, whether you come from a wealthy family or a poor family. It’s a terrible option for many, whether they come from a wealthy family or a poor family. In my case I am not interested in getting within a foot of a recruiter…being involved with the military is personally against my religion/morals…good thing there are usually other jobs one can take.</p>
<p>busdriver11, good point about it certainly being easier to complete college right after high school, rather than working to pay for it on your own and then graduating at a later age.</p>
<p>Collegebust, I know that it is very difficult to succeed when your parents expect you to fail. But you do not have to do things their way. You probably need both distance and time to become yourself, and discover what you expect from yourself. It may be academic success and then it may not. I hope that you won’t be creating a family while you are working this through, and if you don’t there is no reason not to take the time of. Thousands of kids take a year off before college or during college, many because they are burnt out and without personal goal. They return, refreshed, and do great - or they find something that they enjoy more. Take the time you need and you will be a happier person, and better at whatever you end up doing.</p>
<p>“Take the time you need and you will be a happier person, and better at whatever you end up doing.”</p>
<p>Depends. Some caveats. Maybe if you have something you really want to do. And only if you are not sacrificing parental support for the rest of your college time to do so. Otherwise, honestly…if you don’t have something you’re just dying to do, and you’re going to sacrifice parents paying for college…3 months of summer is a good long break. Because it is expensive as heck to support yourself and difficult to get a decent paying job without a degree. You’ll have the rest of your life to do that drill! It’s just a balancing act between helping yourself get out of a rut and not screwing up the deal that you have. Then again, you sound like you have alot of common sense and are merely exploring the options.</p>
<p>Yeah, it’s definitely a balancing act…</p>
<p>My parents said they would support me if I wanted to take a year off and work (er, support as in, continue paying for college later, NOT support as in they would let me live in their house without a job haha). But, I’m involved in extracurriculars at school that are helping me build my resume, I have friends and a girlfriend who would be graduating and moving on with their lives…all of that. It’s hard to know if the break is worth it - would it help me get better grades? And even if it did, would better grades be > than what I would lose? On the one hand I feel like I do need time and space from it all, but on the other it is true that there’s a lot to lose, even for a mediocre C student like myself.</p>
<p>I already have a full time internship this summer so unfortunately not much of a break there.</p>
<p>Maybe I can start planning for some kind of sabbatical for next winter haha. Although that wouldn’t help for the Fall semester.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>collegebust, I noticed you listed majors as plural. Are you plannning to double major and if so is that one of the reasons it will take you an extra year to graduate? My advice would be to get your degree (just one major) as quickly and efficiently as possible. Maybe you can test out of some classes or take a distance learning class along with your internship if the summer job isn’t extremely demanding. Do the work needed to bring up the GPA and stop worrying about whether or not you enjoy it. View college as a distasteful job and find satisfaction in your life elsewhere through hobbies (take up running, or a part-time job in a pizza shop, or theater, etc.) </p>
<p>A degree is a helpful thing to have and your parents are providing financial support. That is huge. Being able to do something well, even if you dislike the task, is an important life skill to master. Once your degree is in hand, you can go back to school someplace else and get a second degree, a masters, just take classes to learn new things, or find a job you love. Not everybody enjoys college. Not everybody enjoys their job. Sometimes you have to just stick it out. Dropping out and giving up parental funding for college in the future does not sound like a good plan when you have already come this far.</p>
<p>I would not be sacrificing parental support to take a year off. They said they’d fully support me in that.</p>
<p>However, I would be sacrificing certain other things, such as the ECs that are the saving grace on my resume, friendships, etc. (perhaps I wouldn’t be sacrificing them completely and I could pick them off where I left off…but the ‘what if that doesn’t work out’ is nerve wracking…).</p>
<p>collegebust, thanks for the correction. I see you did say your parents would be supportive. I read it the opposite way by mistake.</p>
<p>Can you graduate faster with just one major?</p>
<p>Collegebust - </p>
<p>
</p>
<p>YOU ARE in control of your life and YOU CAN make it work. Believing this is taking the first step toward success. Start by focusing on the things that you can change/control and forget about yesterday.</p>
<p>No, I wouldn’t be able to graduate faster with just one major since the advising department heavily discourages taking more than 2 classes per semester in one of the fields. So, most people in that field double major since there are 2-3 other classes one needs to be taking to be considered a full time student.</p>
<p>^^^
Collegebust, do your advisors absolutely forbid, or just advise against, taking more than two classes at a time in your major? If you explain your situation, your advisors may be able to work out a more balanced schedule for you while still allowing you to double up a bit in the discipline to make it through. If your GPA in the major(s) is higher than a C (as opposed to your cumulative), you might be able to argue that you can handle more simultaneous coursework in the major. Also, what about taking classes in the summer (if your university offers them) to speed up time to graduation? </p>
<p>I agree with Analyst that sometimes, it’s just better to grit your teeth and finish school. A lot of students who feel the way you do end up drifting away and never finishing; they find themselves at a real disadvantage trying to return later when saddled with other life responsibilities. Don’t romanticize “taking time off” unless you really think it will change your academic attitude or possibilities.</p>
<p>It also sounds from your description of your experience that there are some positive aspects of your college (friends, ECs) that you will miss and may not be able to replicate elsewhere. Don’t underestimate the importance of those motivating factors. You have already invested yourself in your current environment with some apparent reward.</p>