<p>I've read thread after thread by students who have been rejected by their dream reach or accepted with insufficient FA. Thus, going into my senior year, I diligently avoided getting attached to any of my reaches (which offer no or minimal merit aid).</p>
<p>Problem is, I've found myself falling in love with one of my matches (~40% acceptance rate) where I have a decent shot at merit aid. It has holistic and rather unpredictable admissions, so I know I shouldn't get my hopes up </p>
<p>Any advice about distancing myself from any soon-to-be dream college?</p>
<p>I think for some people, choosing a college is a cut-and-dried, fact-driven enterprise. They identify reasonable choices, work to maximize their chances, and then choose the one that makes the most sense. While in theory I think that’s a good thing to aspire to-- and I’m encouraging my daughter not to get too attached to any one school-- I suspect it’s not how most of us work. One of my favorite threads on CC has to do with why people rejected schools after visiting them. I love it because so many of the reactions to schools are funny and unpredictable. Not really logical. So I guess I’m thinking that having a “dream” college is pretty common and probably reflects how you operate. Try not to idealize any college too much (you’d have some degree of joy and misery at all of them), and remind yourself now and then that it may not work out. But beyond that I think it’s okay to let yourself get excited and hopeful. If you don’t get in, you’ll be sad and then you’ll look ahead. And probably later say that the place you attended ended up being perfect after all. Most people take their happiness with them and you should be able to do that at a number of places.</p>
<p>Have more than one college you can dream about. Take the characteristics you like about your favorite college and build your list to meet most if not all the same characteristics.</p>
<p>It feels to me like you are already on a pretty good track, since you are aware of the pitfalls of falling in love with a “dream college”. Let me give you another reason to hold back a bit – my D was accepted to every college she applied to last year, including 3 reaches. She was pretty sure her order of preference when she applied was college A, then B, then C (the three reaches). After acceptance she went to accepted student days at all 3, and guess what? It was clear after spending more time on campus (over 24 hours at each) than college C (original 3rd choice) was the best place for her. Even though she had been to shorter “day” visits at all three colleges before (tour, info session, class, lunch on campus), the actual longer visit in April of senior year changed her mind. </p>
<p>The key is to applying only to colleges you are pretty sure you would want to attend. It is hard not to have some favorites. But as long as you reserve the right to change your mind and give your final choices a hard look in the spring, that is okay.</p>
<p>Instead of distancing yourself from your dream college, try falling in love with your safety school. </p>
<p>My safety school required a “why this school” essay, and in the process of writing the essay, I realized I actually really liked the school and wouldn’t mind going there at all. Now, I’m a sophomore at my “safety” and I love it!</p>
<p>Good for you, but realize that any school that asks this question cannot be a safety, since it considers “level of applicant’s interest” in admissions. Indeed, an applicant for whom the school would otherwise be a safety based on academic status is the one who is most likely to be scrutinized for “level of applicant’s interest”.</p>
<ol>
<li>Focus on the ‘dream’ life you want. What do you want after you get out of school? What skills/knowledge do you need to make that happen? The ‘data’ that needs to get transferred to you in order to make that happen is most likely available at any one of a few hundred schools?</li>
</ol>
<p>1a. Think of it as a business transaction, like buying a car. You need something from them (knowledge), they want something from you (money). You need basic transportation to get you from point A to point B. Whether you drive a Kia, Ford, BMW or Bentley, all will provide you with that basic function. Given that, does it really matter which ‘dealer’ you buy from?</p>
<p>1b. Keep in mind the cost. Your dream school might have a sunroof, upgraded stereo system and GPS-Nav, but taking all that extra cash plus a college graduate salary should buy you a lot nicer car once you’re out of school.</p>
<p>Finally, remember that you’re looking from the outside in. We all build rosy scenarios around certain places and people, yet on closer inspection they all have the same flaws that everywhere and everyone else has. As Mr. Spock from Star Trek put it, “Wanting is so much more pleasurable than having. It is not logical, but it is true”.</p>
<p>Thank you for all your words of wisdom I feel much better about the process and have spent more time researching my safeties (which I do like very much!)</p>
But as long as you reserve the right to change your mind and give your final choices a hard look in the spring, that is okay.</p>