Hi other parents - curious if others were surprised (like i was) that my grad’s hard work and sacrifices were basically a WASTE - she got very very little scholarship options and we really started early and thought she was doing everything right. She will be our first to going off to college this fall and we have twins graduating in two years. Any recommendations on what to do differntly for them? We can’t afford 3 in college. 
I am so disheartened by this whole process - depressing and so unfair! imo
Was your child a NMF? Some schools don’t participate in the program, so were you aware of this when you were vetting out your daughter’s choices for the schools she would be applying to?
Hard work and sacrifices are not really a waste if the school list is honed and research done in advance.
Did you apply to schools where her GPA and ACT scores were well above the norm at those schools?
Were you just looking for outside scholarships, i.e., scholarships not offered by a school? Those are incredibly difficult to get, notoriously so. My D was NMF and received some nice scholarship offers to a number of schools, so I’m confused about your post.
I admit, I do not understand the assumption that the pursuit of academic achievement is a waste, if it did not result in some knd of external reward.
I saw in another thread that you posted that your daughter may major in some sort of engineering. I have a friend whose son is going to Alabama for engineering - he was a good student, not one of the top top in his class and he has a huge merit package that he can use into grad school there.
@dobbythehouseelf, could you elaborate? Your journey could help others if you can provide some details, and maybe we can offer some suggestions for your younger ones. High stats applicants can usually leverage their achievements into some merit $, and sometimes substantial merit $, with the right strategies.
There are schools (including some state flagships) that provide full-tuition scholarships to National Merit Scholars:
http://nmfscholarships.yolasite.com/
@dobbythehouseelf - yup, hard work and sacrifice pretty much a waste of time for HS students unless you’re a a URM. Outside scholarships, a complete scam. You need to look at schools that will guarantee the scholarship if you meet certain requirements. There’s a list on CC somewhere. @mom2collegekids will know where it is. Best options for kids I know were places like Alabama and there was one in Southwestern Utah.
I know plenty of white kids who get merit scholarships. It is a total canard that you need to be a URM to get money.
BUT- you need to read the directions (like anything else). If you aren’t qualified based on scores, GPA, community involvement- don’t bother to apply.
@dobbythehouseelf I thought you posted that your D got $$$ at Texas A&M did they pull their offer???
Looks like the OP’s kid’s application list did not include schools which would have given large scholarships for NMF, and such large scholarships were necessary to afford college (at least when later kids go to college).
The OP and later kids should start reading the sticky threads at the top of the financial aid and scholarships forum that point to lists of automatic-for-stats big scholarships, competitive big scholarships, and NM scholarships.
At the top of the Financial Aid Forum there is a thread with multiple links to other threads on various topics related to merit-based aid. A student with the typical profile of a NMF has lots of decent options that can be very affordable - or even free. However, it the student only wants a certain college/university or certain type of college/university or has a rare or very selective major (such as nursing or an audition or portfolio based fine art), then things get a lot harder.
@dobbythehouseelf if money is a serious issue for your family, have this kid take a gap year and reapply to a more affordable list after reading up on merit aid.
@ucbalumnus the op posted in a different thread that his DD got $$$ at TAMU
I heard that most National Merit kids that go to TAMU end up with near full rides so I really want to know what happened.
Did his D choose a school other than TAMU that didn’t offer merit aid or did TAMU not come through on the $$$?
Very often, a student with high achievement needs to decide between a better school or a school with better merit aid. It is part of the application process to identify those schools with potential merit aids. Hard work would not be in vain. To get merit aid or not would depend on your preference and priority.
So the OP must have ignored all the advice provided on the other thread - basically take the $ and no parent loans.
OP, you confirm what I thought all along. I was not too stressed when one of my kids didn’t make NMF.
I think there are expectations by students/parents with a very high bar; once researching and getting clarification, perhaps not considering what is available for the one child and worries about the next two.
Most students do have to pay for room and board - some do achieve full tuition or most tuition with their merit. Perhaps OP thought they would have full costs paid at a particular school and that didn’t happen.
It would be great for OP to give some clarification.
It sounds like maybe your disappointed that the favored schools didn’t come with more money? It is disappointing to watch your kid turn down a dream school because of finances. A parent can’t help but feel guilty about that. Truly though, most people don’t have the means to send 3 kids off to college without making some compromise as to where they go. Unfortunately, the favored schools are generally favored for a reason and that means those schools don’t have to give a lot of merit.
As to your twins, I’d encourage them to cast a wider net. Look at some schools where they can get automatic scholarships or are on the very high end of applicants stats wise. Make sure they understand their budget and do everything in their power to keep them from deciding that an affordable school is not good enough for them. You haven’t said but hopefully, your eldest went to the school with the big scholarship and they can learn from her.
Outside scholarships? They are just tough. Your best bet is the little ones in your community… 300 bucks here and there from the local credit union or the community arts foundation, etc.
The choices in that thread were Texas A&M (low cost with NMF scholarship), Colorado School of Mines, and California Polytechnic with intended major of chemical or biomedical engineering.