<p>I should add, do you think we should be concerned about him living in the dorms? He did the spend a night. But, when it was time to go to the spend a night, he was literally crying. He was a nervous and afraid to go away for the night. We spoke with the admissions office about his nerves (which, really sold us on the school, turns out, the person in charge has a son of her own with aspergers!) and we agreed that we could drive him there and he would spend the evening. Then, if he still wanted to leave, he was welcome to leave. If not, we would leave town (it was a 2 hr drive) and he would stay the night. Just knowing he could change his mind if he wanted leave before spending the night calmed him. We dropped him off and then my husband and I and the other kids went out to eat and shopping in that town. Finally, we heard from him he wanted to stay the night so we went on home. It really eased his worries!</p>
<p>I am guessing I need to work on his roommate skills between now and moving in. Hygiene is not an issue at this point. But he has his own room here so I am unsure what his issues might be in the future when he has a roommate. But I would love suggestions on what to address with him before he goes. Thanks!</p>
<p>After admission and enrollment decision, submitting documentation of ASP diagnosis will net a single dorm room, if requested. ASP literature re: “college” usually recommends a single dorm room assignment, rather than room w/roommate(s). Parents of ASP freshmen need to consider the 24/7 college experience, and address non-academic aspects too. We did check dorm housing arrangements at every campus we visited. Practices such as “tripling freshmen” in double-sized rooms or housing students in a floor lounge, occur fairly often and can be a stressful scenario. (Friends’ DD was housed for a semester in a student lounge room with four other students, w/o adequate clothing storage allocation and no desks for these students; one student became depressed and mostly stayed in bed, the other three weren’t happy campers either.) </p>
<p>Also highly recommend a “on-campus” summer experience “dry-run” prior to HS senior year, to gage whether student can likely navigate living away from home, or whether a commuter-college arrangement is preferable.</p>
<p>Personally I would highly recommend he go to a college that you can get to within a couple hours and as I said earlier he shoudl discose to the disabilities office at the college he attends.</p>
<p>My kids both are " twice gifted" they also both took a gap year before college.( & their issues are not as noticeable to casual onlookers)
IMO, especially when students are not as skilled socially, even if more than ready academically, a year makes a big difference in readiness for and ability to benefit from college.</p>
<p>Correcting a professor or monopolizing the discussion of a college class is considered disruptive and can be brought to the dean. </p>
<p>Jane Thierfeld Brown (director of disability services at UCONN) and Dr.Lorraine Wolf (Director of Disability Services at BU) have written a great book -"The Parent’s Guide for Students on the Autistic Spectrum.</p>
<p>I have heard them speak and have met with Dr.Wolf when my son was considering applying to BU.</p>
<p>A must read for any parent with a child on the spectrum thinking of attending college-</p>
<p>I have two children who have learning disabilities and are very bright. One is more extreme in both directions – extremely high IQ and extremely dyslexic, with a little bit of ADHD and other stuff (he puts the capital T on Tone Deaf, for example). Neither is Aspie/Austistic, so I don’t have first hand experience with all that you are dealing with. I was able to negotiate effectively with school system’s on both kids’ behalf and they have been doing well in college, in part by working effectively with disabilities services offices in college.</p>
<p>So, should you disclose? I’d say not before admission unless it is critical to explaining your son’s record. Highly selective schools have so many choices that it is easy to pass on any kid who is a potential problem. My son had to disclose to explain his unusual education [partial homeschooling in HS] and I suspect a couple of schools, including my alma mater passed on him for that reason [although he is attending one of the two schools I thought would be best for him and recommended against him attending my beloved Ivy alma mater].</p>
<p>Should you disclose to the school? Yes, especially if you think they can provide services that will help. I would go to the Disabilities Services Office (DSO) immediately upon acceptance, explain what the kid’s issues are (send in all psychological testing and other documentation in advance), describe the accommodations that you think a) help and b) are warranted, and then ask if they will provide these accommodations. Some schools will try to demur – we have a committee process that decides this after your child decides to attend – but insist that your child won’t be able to decide to attend unless the needed accommodations are promised. That is the point at which you have the greatest bargaining leverage. It has worked for us and my son’s #1 became #2 when they waffled on what they would do and in particular made it clear that every request would be met with waffling, skepticism and requests for more data than is necessary. I later told a business friend who is a trustee of this Ivy about our encounter and he was incredibly frustrated that they were losing great kids by not being accommodating enough.</p>
<p>Finally, should professors know? My son meets in the early fall of each year with the head of the DSO. My son then meets with each professor and explains what his issues are and what he will ask of them. If he later runs into any difficulty, the professors are likely to be more understanding. He’s taken a very difficult course load at a very highly ranked school and has a 3.95 GPA (he’s graduating this spring) and has won several prizes for academic performance. I am sure that his obvious high IQ and obvious determination, combined with his openness about his LDs have helped professors cut him slack when he needs it. I think in your son’s case, it will help professors to know about your son’s Dx so that they can better interpret his way of approaching with the world.</p>
<p>There is one potential downside to disclosing to professors. ShawSon gets more extra time than a number of other kids with LDs. The need for this was carefully documented at one point and even attested to by a couple of HS teachers who are generally opposed to giving kids extra time. At visiting parents weekend during ShawSon’s freshman year, two separate professors said nearly the same thing to me, “Mr. Shawbridge, I was worried when I heard about your son’s disabilities as kids with learning disabilities usually have do poorly in my class. However, I was pleasantly surprised that he had the highest grade on both of the tests this semester.” Robert Rosenthal in Pygmalion in the Classroom documented the effect of teachers’ expectations on students’ performance (even on standardized tests). So, starting the semester by setting up negative expectations could be detrimental, but ShawSon’s self-narrative is triumphing over adversity by overcoming people’s expectations. For him, it is just how he defines himself. But, for other kids, setting up negative expectations might be detrimental.</p>
<p>OP I saw another post by you today that your S had made his final choice on colleges, if this was RIT then I think he should by all means disclose to his professors if he is comfortable doing so. I am not personally familiar with their autism program but from everything I have heard and from materials on their website, this appears to be a school that would encourage disclosure to faculty, they even have a page on their spectrum page listing resources for faculty and staff (including by the way, Thierfeld Brown and Wolf’s first book, a guide on students with Aspergers for college personnel which should be required reading for every college. In addition to being directors of the disability programs at their respective schools - along with another coauthor, Ruth Bork who is the director of the disability program at Northeastern - they also consult with colleges on the needs of students on the spectrum).</p>
<p>ASD is a neurological disorder, so the most important factor to keep in mind is how comfortable your son will feel in his surroundings so not to be overwhelmed by the pressures of everyday work and roommates. The disadvantages of to not disclose his problem to the school (maybe not necessarily to his professors, for what they really care in college) is that some schools can provide assistance to students with needs, specially single housing. ASD kids are highly intelligent but sometimes lack some social skills and they can be perceived as just plain rude as you said; however, more and more people are learning about ASD and understanding that these kids can live perfectly normal lives and have many friends that understand them. My son had a few ASD kids in his school ( small, very competitive middle school), and kids understood their condition… It is always best to ask someone that has been through this experience (a teen) what hey really think. Keep in mind that in the end is your son decision. Why? Because it is him who has to face all this reality. He is slowing great maturity to try to solve his own problems an try to live a regular life without his condition define who he is. You should very proud of him.</p>
<p>This is key. Some kids with LDs fight, and have fought since elementary school. Every teacher that says no, every coach the doesn’t chose him, every time someone lowers their expectations my son fights. It’s inherent in his personality and teachers figure that out. At various point we had to work to control that inner fight so it did not become a negative personality trait. But, if you don’t see that in your kid, then you need to adjust. If you have a fighter it’s pretty obvious.</p>