<p>My son said he does not want to disclose his ASD. I was fine with this. It is his choice in the end regardless. His reasons are very sound. In the past, when it has been disclosed, he has been on the receiving end of discrimination. It has not happened at his current school, but it did happen at his past schools. </p>
<p>However, yesterday, I had a meeting with one of his teachers (before you tell me I am not allowed to speak to anyone at his school, everyone who tells me this clearly does not have a child in special education or they would realize that special education does not work on a non-communication level, communication is mandated). She had not had his IEP because she was a new teacher, replaced after the start of the year, due to losing the original teacher. She was great and all, she just didn't know. Anyway, in the course of the meeting, she told me she thought that his teachers at college really needed to know of his issues. This is because if you don't know him, or what is going on, he comes off as rude. He does not mince words, he gets very bothered by other people's bothersome behaviors or mistakes. She says she knows every time she slips up, he will be there to correct her, and he does not try to go it gently. </p>
<p>Of course, we will be working on this with him (and he has an autism counselor through the schools, which he will lose when he graduates). But in the meantime, I am wondering if I should be going back to him and asking him to reconsider. Thing is, that teacher does not know what it is like for someone with special needs who is repeatedly discriminated against, which is something we have encountered for years, up until the current school my son is in. I have seen a teacher who loved him and thought he was great, but complains he socializes too much during class time, suddenly claim he is incapable of the work, and cannot interact with other kids, upon finding out his diagnosis. </p>
<p>What do you think? Any experience with this?</p>
<p>I think you should leave this decision up to him when he is in college. I don’t agree with the high school teacher re “his teachers at college really needed to know of his issues.” His college professors aren’t going to know his actual diagnosis anyway even if he gets permission for specific academic accommodations. </p>
<p>Unless your son has learning disabilities that affect his academic performance, the diagnosis of Asperger’s or autism may not affect his college-level accommodations whatsoever. The professors can’t cut him some general degree of slack even if he tells them he has Asperger’s, and the disability services office cannot legally tell professors what the nature of the disability is. This is done to protect the student’s privacy.</p>
<p>Your son should know, however, that he cannot receive any accommodations unless he goes through the self-disclosure procedure through the college disability services office. They will determine what, if any, accommodations are appropriate and provide a list of suggested actions/strategies (not a diagnosis) that the student must carry around to each professor.</p>
<p>I have a S with Asperger’s who is a high school senior. Every child is different, but I thought the following advice was helpful: you don’t just want your child to get into a college, you want them to succeed there. If you think a college wouldn’t admit your child if they knew, would you want your child to go there? On the flip side, if you think your child’s professors would have a negative reaction to your child’s behavior if they didn’t know the reason, shouldn’t they know? As you say, it’s your child’s call, and there may be different reasons for disclosing/not disclosing. But most colleges do know about Asperger’s by now. You should talk to the disabilities office at any school you look at to see what help they offer, whether or not you ultimately decide to disclose this in the application. My son did disclose it (it was part of his personal essay), and we talked to the disabilities offices at most of the schools we were considering. We are hopeful that the school he will likely attend will provide him with the support he needs. I hope this helps.</p>
<p>The professors are not going to know the diagnosis. The disabilities services office cannot tell them. Diagnosis is not part of the information professors get on students with accommodations. It’s one thing to disclose a disability to admissions when applying; but generally, students don’t disclose their diagnoses to professors in the classroom. </p>
<p>If the student tells them, they are not able to really do anything about it independently. If a student told me independently that he had leukemia or Crohn’s (or Asperger’s), I would be sympathetic but I couldn’t alter the course expectations or requirements beyond what is specified by any accommodations as designed by the office of disability services.</p>
<p>Lmkh, of course the high school will talk to you! However, the college likely won’t unless you have a release and a plan in place to do so. I would strongly suggest that you contact the disability office at the schools your son is applying to. These offices operate differently from place to place. In ALL situations, the information you share with them is confidential and is only released to the appropriate personnel so that any accommodations your son may need can be implemented. You will need up to date documentation of any accommodations and verification of your sons need for them.</p>
<p>In my opinion it is better to have a plan in place with the disabilities office for use if needed, than to be scurrying around trying to get one in place if a need arises.</p>
<p>There are many students who avail themselves of the services from the disabilities offices. In addition, your son should find out about tutorial services his school offers…again just in case he needs them.</p>
<p>The responsibility for these plans in college rests with the STUDENT. There will not be a special education case manager chasing your student down to get them to avail themselves of the services.</p>
<p>I think that if he doesn’t want to disclose to his profs, he needs to demonstrate that he is capable of identifying and obtaining support for the academic and social issues when ( not if), they come up.</p>
<p>I would advise for disclosure from the outset, because you cant really examine what supports are available until you do. But he may need a bumpy road to come to that conclusion himself.</p>
<p>Thumper, in high school also. My son who is now 18 had to sign a release for the school to invite us (they had invited my son) to his final IEP. 18 is a magical age with regard to personal information. BTW, he went by himself. He’s been advocating and doing 99% of the talking at IEPs since early high school. Back to the topic, OP if your son needs any kind of accommodation, including a mulligan if he needs help from the college for social issues or really anything he’d be wise to disclose to the disabilities office. The disabilities office could be an advocate if he finds himself in a bind.</p>
<p>It’s important for folks to know. My S doesn’t disclose it but the truth is that its disclosed in his actions if not his words. He struggles with organization, prioritization, self advocating, taking the bus, letting teachers know he’s running late or feeling sick or having other issues. It’s a mess when he doesn’t disclose.</p>
<p>At his college, they do field trips related to his major. He won’t take the bus so he has walked for hours on a couple of occasions. Now he skateboards but he can’t be on the bus with people although he can take a train or subway. It’s a quirk of his ASD.</p>
<p>Lmkh, I just want you to know that the choice to disclose for admissions purposes is independent of the choice to disclose to the accommodations office. Your son can choose not to disclose for admissions purposes and then, once admitted, pursue accommodations through the disabilities office. In the meantime, you can also call the disabilities offices of all the schools your son is considering and ask them about the process your son would pursue if he should seek accommodations once admitted.</p>
<p>Look at it this way—Wouldn’t you want to be informed of a student’s disability if you were a teacher? If you were a professor and a student in your class was obnoxiously correcting everything you said, was obviously bothered by responses of other students during discussions, and came across as being inclined to anger and frustration, how would you react? </p>
<p>What about future roommates? Do you think it’s fair for a new incoming freshman going through the typical issues of college adjustments to also have to deal with an autistic roommate who exhibits a propensity to constantly correct, disagree, and express atypical social responses?</p>
<p>Yes, I know everything I’ve mentioned is not politically correct. However, once in a while, it’s important for parents of ASD children to also keep in mind how the stress of dealing with ASD roommates and ASD project group members effect the typical incoming freshman.</p>
<p>I recommend being honest from the start. I also recommend doing a great deal of research on which colleges have the best support systems for your child. Unless everything is documented with the college’s disability office, your ASD child will fall through the cracks. It’s much better to be realistic, honest, and prepared rather than pretend his ASD isn’t going to cause problems when he is out of his comfort zone and plopped into a new and unfamiliar environment.</p>
<p>As a professor, not really. I don’t want to know the specifics of the disabilities that my students are diagnosed with. It’s really irrelevant anyway. The only thing I can legally or ethically do is help the student meet course requirements by implementing the suggested accommodations on the list the student gives me from the disabilities office. That’s the only thing that any professor can do. In any given semester I might have students with Aspergers, students with anxiety disorder, students with depression, students with chronic debilitating asthma, students with autoimmune disorders. I don’t need to know what their specific problem is as long as I can help them implement their accommodations, which are enumerated and specific. </p>
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<p>These are the kinds of behaviors that accommodations won’t cover. If a student cannot follow the student code of conduct and behave non-disruptively in the classroom, he/she cannot remain matriculated, even with a diagnosis of disability. Students with disabilities are required to fulfill the same course requirements as everyone else.</p>
<p>I would recommend a student with a disability that affects academics to get registered with disability services and request the appropriate accommodations from the professor. But don’t overestimate what professors can do. They can generally do a lot less than high school teachers.</p>
<p>It just depends on how your kid functions. S is high functioning and doesn’t disclose. Some mixed feelings about this (S is a college freshman and OK so far.)
IMO it is important to try to teach ASD kids appropriate behavior rather than use the disability as a reason for behavior that would be perceived as rude, hurtful or suspicious.
OP–Can your S follow instructions NOT to correct the teacher in front of the class? Not to express his annoyance publicly at others’ mistakes?–Can he learn that this offends people, hurts their feelings, and doesn’t make for good relationships? Even if he can’t understand/feel/agree with others’ reactions, he can LEARN, as he can learn a fact, that this is how other folks will tend to feel if he does/says XYZ.
While it is important for others to understand how ASD people think differently, ASD students need to be taught–if they don’t just pick up the social cues naturally–how the majority of people think.<br>
They need to understand the benefits of behaving as MOST people would be expected to behave in various situations. (I hope I am not offending anyone–believe me, this is something I’ve struggled to teach my S. It is like teaching the customs of a foreign culture, or an acting lesson to someone who has no interest in foreign cultures or acting.)</p>
<p>At the colleges we have dealt with, the disabilities office gives a letter to the student for each professor. Disclosure from that point on is up to the student. This system requires the student to be an advocate for him or herself.</p>
<p>At one school, in our experience, this letter merely states that the student is registered with the disabilities office. Working out academic accommodations is done between student and professor, as long as the student can present documentation from an MD, for instance, for a particular crisis. A dean is also involved in advocating for the student, as a matter of procedure, by e-mailing the professor. </p>
<p>At another school, the letter provided by the disabilities folks/dean does list accommodations quite thoroughly.</p>
<p>In either case, no diagnosis is revealed, and the student may or may not want to disclose to professors. The student also has the right to abstain from the whole thing, even if registered: he or she can just keep the letters or throw them out. But in that case, it might still be helpful to be registered with the disabilities office.</p>
<p>The level of legally required accommodations is much lower at the college level. The field is evolving. It is important to understand that perhaps the major function of disabilities offices is to guard the curriculum from the effects of accommodations that might affect academic standards, or cause undue expense or administrative burdens- all reasons that a college may refuse accommodations.</p>
<p>However, in the end, avoiding misunderstandings is a powerful reason to disclose to professors, deans, counselors- with or without registration at the disabilities office. Or perhaps the fact that this student is “on the spectrum” will be apparent regardless.</p>
<p>NYSmile - I understand the point you’re trying to make. But people with disabilities are not the only people who are difficult to get along with. A person could just be an obnoxious jerk, no dsm code attatched.</p>
<p>Based upon our own experience, I would wholeheartedly endorse disclosure. You want a “good fit” school where DS can succeed without significant diagnosis-related challenges, and in a welcoming environment. I don’t see a downside by disclosing. We’ve experienced a notable upside in doing so.</p>
<p>During college visits, we’d split up, and I’d find my way to Student Services. I’d explain DS’s diagnoses and profile. DS attends a college prep high school w/limited accommodation of “extended time for exams”, and otherwise benefits from empathetic teachers who understand his diagnoses. I consistently found a warm welcome, and encouragement. Some schools, particularly those with federally-funded student-retention program TRIO (look it up on us gov ed site), totally “get it”. There’s no reason for DS to “tough it out” without disclosure or accommodations, and that approach only lessens likelihood of a successful college experience.</p>
<p>DS disclosed in Common Ap Essay, and HS’ college guidance counselor disclosed in conversations with admissions officers too. DS’ focussed on Midwest LACs. All schools we visited seemed empathetic and welcoming.</p>
<p>I’d also recommend that DS fit at least the 60th percentile of incoming freshman class, to ensure good academic fit too.</p>
<p>Of course there are socially difficult non-ASD people. However, the stress put on the neuro-typical new freshman to deal with an ASD roommate is complicated due to the variety of issues that can be associated with an ASD roommate: shutting down, anger due to frustration, lack of personal hygiene, OCD, emotional fragility, difficulty to compromise, etc.
Yes, no two ASD are exactly alike—some have learned coping skills and the like, some exhibit milder symptoms, but there are some ASD students who are dropped off to college by parents who assume their ASD child will magically blend in and succeed simply because they have been able to earn good grades in HS. </p>
<p>Accommodations at the college level are by no means to the degree as they are in the K-12 setting. It’s important for parents of ASD first time college students to understand this fact.
No one is there to pick up the pieces every time there is a meltdown. No one is going to remind them to do their homework, take a shower, wash their clothes, go to the cafeteria to eat, make nutritious choices when eating, attend office hours when needed, set a schedule to insure assignments are completed and handed in on time, etc. </p>
<p>I don’t understand the logic in trying to hide such a disability from college admissions. Isn’t it best to be honest about the situation in order to discuss possible issues/resources with the school before even applying? Isn’t it best to know what type of safety net (if any) the school can offer the student if/when needed?</p>
<p>Not only that, doing so quite frequently…especially teachers/Professors would be considered rude and extremely disrespectful. </p>
<p>Some undergrad Profs will deduct points for such behavior from the classroom participation portion of the grade under the term “negative class participation” to the point that if someone received an A on their seminar research paper, but was rude to classmates and/or the Prof too often…could easily end up losing one full letter grade or more. </p>
<p>In addition, it could understandably provoke classmates to reacting in kind under the “what’s good for the goose is also good for the gander” school of thought and/or if the Prof is “old school” in terms of expecting presumed respect from students for his/her position*, summarily order the student to leave the classroom immediately for being disruptive/causing offense for classmates/Prof. Last I checked, that was well within the rights of most Professors…and is even spelled out on the syllabus. </p>
<p>Moreover, in the workplace, such behavior by employees towards colleagues or especially their supervisor/boss won’t be taken very well…especially if said employee is a new/inexperienced employee. </p>
<ul>
<li>It’s presumed respect of having a greater level of education and/or industry experience which gives the Prof/instructor the right to be teaching in front of the college class in the first place on the first day/week of the class. Something I agree with…though I am also of the mind it’s the type of respect Professors/instructors could lose if they act/treat their students disrespectfully. However, my threshold for that is a lot higher than giving boring monotonous lectures.</li>
</ul>
<p>I’ve seen students who were the types to correct teachers/classmates rudely in both HS and the college settings. In the former case, it was tolerated and even encouraged by HS teachers because 1. Students were so intelligent that they were often right. 2. Other students/teacher had the presumed same right to rudely correct them when they slip up so the ones with the tendency to correct others can’t expect to be exempt. This same type of behavior tends not to be tolerated very well in most college settings I’ve been in.</p>
<p>My son disclosed because he did not want it to be an issue. </p>
<p>He was accepted into 4 of 6 so far with nice merit scholarships to two. </p>
<p>It sounds as though DS needs to become more self aware. </p>
<p>Newtown is on everyone’s mind and anyone that is not neurotypical … Ok everyone, admit, we can almost spot them walking down the street … I think he is better off with a benign diagnosis such as ASD than leaving it up to everyone’s imagination. I think you might end up seeing much stronger discrimination. </p>
<p>Was past discrimination because of rude behaviour or because of the diagnosis? No need toanswer but be honest with yourself. He may need another year before college to improve his socialization.</p>
<p>Pardon the candidness … Just in the midst of these Qs for myself.</p>
<p>Actually, he does not need any accommodations or changes to what is expected or anything. It is just when he tries to communicate with teachers, he comes off as abrupt and rude, when he is not trying to. So the thought was that perhaps, since he is at a small school with just a few profs in his department, he should let this profs know himself.</p>
<p>It would be akin to telling a PE teacher that you have a heart condition or asthma so that they don’t get angry when can’t go as fast, so he doesn’t think you are not just not trying.</p>
<p>MQD…the past discrimination was all when we were in 1 area. He had been at the middle school, and had the same GT teacher for 7th and 8th grade. Mid eighth grade, he got his IEP and DX. The week prior to the DX, his GT teacher told me he was doing great, was great, he just spent too much time socializing with the other kids in class. He always had A’s in her class. But, then the DX was passed on to the teachers. I got called in to a meeting at the school and was told that he did not make eye contact, never interacted with anyone, could not understand the vocabulary, couldn’t handle the work, etc. I pointed out to her that he was getting an A, he always has gotten 100 on his vocab tests, and she was just complaining that he socialized too much. She then said now that she sees his diagnosis, she realizes he is not really socializing. Yeah, right. She and the other teacher demanded he be removed from their classes claiming they do not have to follow IEPs in GT classes. I refused. But then later, the one teacher became emotionally abusive toward him during class so I removed him. His grades dropped in both classes. The next year, at the high school, he unfortunately got one of the GT’s teachers friends for the same GT class, 9th grade level. She was nasty and over the top. She flunked him. The principal told us “speds” don’t belong in his school. We pulled from the public school and went private. We went back and told the district that we would take legal action if they did not start providing him with a free and appropriate education. We started to hear from other parents who had similar experiences. The district gave us an in-district transfer to the other side of the district. In between, earlier on a charter school said they would not take him because he has an IEP.</p>
<p>His IEP says he has to be allowed to type his papers and be given preferential seating. “Check for understanding” is on there too, but has never been used. Really, seriously, this IEP would not even be valid for college where they type their papers anyway. We already purchased him a Zenbook to take to college and everything. </p>
<p>I am just worried because his tone of voice comes off wrong. Someone would think he is being rude, based on tone, but not what he is actually saying. So if you realize that it is just his tone (which he is working on), and you get passed that and get to know him, teachers generally like him. We have had no trouble at all in the school he is in now with discrimination. But he wants to take no chances with it in the future.</p>