Discovering Myself

Pre-College Issues High School Life
1

<p>Hey there CC,</p>

<p>This is an international sophomore student speaking. </p>

<p>There's this matter of "passion" that drives me crazy. In my first year in high school I was extremely unaware of everything around me. I had a few things that I did like, like music/math/physics and tried to stick with them as much as possible. But I was rather stupid. I got into MUN, wasted a year doing it, ended up not liking it (people felt too phony). Around this time I found out that pursuing something very passionately was quite important. I had people around me that have been playing more than one musical instrument, self-studying Latin because they loved it, who wrote a musical which was performed, and etc. I already knew that I loved music (ESPECIALLY listening to it), and by this year, I'm a drummer in our selective orchestra. I've also become the co-founder of a music review page for our school newspaper.
However, I still feel that I don't really know myself. I don't know what I can pursue with a great passion, something that will occupy me at all times that I'd very much enjoy doing. I'm not saying this because I deny that I'm not passionate about something, but because I don't really know myself enough to understand myself. I have no idea what lies within my heart, what I think of stuff. People tell me I have a unique personality, but I'm starting to think that it's just how I look and not who I am. I can't show my "uniqueness" with the things I do, even though I do claim that I am unique.
I've tried writing essays for summer schools where I try to tell them who I am, discovering that even I don't know it. If I can find out who I am, I'm dead sure that I'll know what to do. I have ideas, such as making electronic music, or doing physics research at a local university. Yet, I have no idea how to make them happen, or if I really want to do them. So, how can I discover myself?</p>

<p>All my other "stats" (GPA / SAT / AP's) are pretty good and I don't worry about them. Thanks.</p>

2

<p>just live life. you can’t force yourself to know yourself better. it’s actually a bit scary that you’re mainly just trying to discover yourself for college</p>

3

<p>Just keep thinking to yourself. You discover a lot about yourself in the coming years; most of middle school + early HS you spend kind of ignorant and not aware. </p>

<p>That you even are frustrated about not having an identity is very distinctive in itself. You’ll figure things out as they go. Introversion !</p>

4

<p>It’ll just happen one day. Keep trying new things that interest you, and given that you stick with them for a little while, someday(probably sooner rather than later) you’ll just find it. </p>

<p>I only discovered how much I love theater this year, and I’m a Junior. I was always too scared to put myself out there to really enjoy it, but I got up the courage to audition for my school play and was cast. And, if I may say so myself, even did a pretty good job. So don’t stress too much about it, it will come to you eventually. Just make sure not to fall into that trap where you feel you must be good at it(whatever “it” may be) from the get-go–things rarely work that way. </p>

<p>And honestly, in terms of college admissions, exaggerate a little bit. Not about what you have actually done, but how you feel about it. Never lie, just be a bit more expressive than you might be in normal conversation. While it may seem like everyone has a “thing”, in many a case they are feeling exactly like you’re feeling, you just can’t tell.</p>

5

<p>This is really helping, thanks guys.</p>