Hello, i have been dismissed from boarding school because i was with a girl in a bathroom. I have already been accepted to NYU ED and have good grades currently… I need some advice on what is going to happen?
Can you provide more details if possible? Have you been disciplined before because of similar situations? Was it on purpose or was this accidental in your perspective? Have you talked to your guidance counselor about this? I assume this is permanent suspension but we really need more details if we’re going to provide our subjective opinions.
Worst case, you get arrested for rape (statutory or otherwise), you don’t graduate, get sent to jail, face a lot of embarrassment, your admission gets rescinded, you have to finish high school in a public school and reapply to more scores with an explanation of your situation.
Ok, that’s the worst case :-).
I suspect what actually happens will be something like:
- You write a letter of explanation to NYU that you got expelled for having a consensual sexual encounter in a bathroom. I assume that the girl was expelled too.
- You and the girl were both over the age of consent (i.e., you committed no crime)
- You are sorry that you knowlingly violated the rules
- You would still like to attend NYU and plan to homeschool for the rest of senior year and get your GED.
- You still plan to take all of your AP exams.
- NYU maintains your admission but puts you on academic probation
- You move home, your parents hire tutors and you finish your schooling, AP exams and get a GED.
Since I assume that you are full pay, know that NYU needs your money.
Where do you live? you could go to public school for the remainder of the year. Hire an outside counselor if necessary. Speak with your old school counselor, get copies of current transcript, and ask them how they are reporting your expulsion. They may be willing to agree to your pulling out on own and keeping the reasons personal. Then NYU wouldn’t need to know the reason. Regardless, sort out details first and then def contact NYU admissions, and speak to your “new” college counselor (wherever you go ) or at your local public school.
Were you actually expelled, or compelled to withdraw? You should get both a sealed and an unsealed/unofficial copy of your transcript. Is your boarding school in the same state as your legal residence? You might have already fulfilled graduation requirements, and will be able to obtain a public school diploma. If not, find out what you have to do to get a diploma. NYU has the final say, and so you should find out what their stated policy is as quickly as possible.
Only NYU can answer the question with respect to your admission offer.
(Of course, you could have other problems, like if she gets pregnant, or there are legal problems if you had sex but are not within age of sexual consent laws.)
I agree with the foregoing predictions of what could happen. However, here is some solid advice. No matter what else:
- Make NO excuses.
- Fully acknowledge that you made a significant mistake.
- Don’t blame the girl (far better to be perceived an honorable guy who erred, than a cowardly one who is blaming/implicating someone else).
- Accept your punishment(s) with stoicism, even if you believe they are unfair (ditto).
- GET AHEAD OF THIS ISSUE WITH NYU RIGHT NOW. NYU will unquestionably learn of your dismissal soon. Your opportunity to retain your acceptance will be enhanced by proactively explaining what happened – on your terms and before NYU demands a concise and coherent “pro forma” explanation of this incident (possibly having already near-decided that your admission will be revoked).
- Critically, you and your parents/advisors must absolutely understand that top universities are currently hyper-sensitive to any – even minor – allegation of sexual misconduct; therefore, your proactivity is ESSENTIAL.
- If law enforcement becomes involved, retain a highly qualified attorney immediately.
This is not a particularly good forum for what is in effect a request for legal advice. I encourage you to “stop” posting any comments regarding the incident on this or any other public forum. Your postings based on the information you’ve provided can easily identify who you are. Work with your parents on obtaining legal help.
Their will be no legal troubles, trust me. They put “withdraw” on my transcript. This changes anything?
Seriously get a lawyer.
So, you withdrew…quickly transfer to a local public high…or homeschool. Be sure to have the means to get your AP tests ordered.
If nothing is on the transcript, then your new public school will get your records as a transfer, you’ll finish there…and that school will send transcripts.
NYU will likely just think your family couldn’t afford to keep you there, or as my H would say, you parted over “creative differences.” . There usually aren’t’ questions when they get the final transcripts as long as grades are fine and you graduated.
“Withdrawal” may be a big help.
Colleges will always know that a “Withdrawal” from prep school in the middle of senior year almost certainly occurred in the face of expulsion. I don’t know which school the OP attended, but - if its disciplinary procedures are similar to those at my kids’ school - the student probably had at least one major infraction on his record (some schools are stricter, admittedly), and would have been expelled if he went before the disciplinary committee (or the equivalent at the OP’s school). The school does not have to provide an explanation for the “Withdrawal,” however. They can say that it was the student’s decision. NYU can then contact the OP for an explanation, and he can “spin” it. I doubt that NYU will buy any explanation other than the real one, though.