<p>I am a high school junior trying to prepare for college applications in the fall.
Basically, my parents went through a really messy divorce during my freshmen/sophomore year that had a large effect on my grades (a lot of B's) which has in turn brought my GPA down. Although I have gotten back to straight A's this year, my GPA is kind of beyond repair.</p>
<p>I am trying to find out the best way to address by parents' divorce in my application. Should I have my counselor talk about it in a separate letter or make it the topic of my essay.</p>
<p>My parents' divorce was extremely traumatic. Like the police were called to my house on more than one occasion. They were fighting constantly, my dad tried getting me and my younger siblings to spy on my mom, he would refuse to pay for different things (like dental bills, doctors visits, club fees) to get back at my mom.
This went so far as my father trying to make my siblings and I orphans; tampered with parts on my mom's car then tried to kill himself (I found him and had to call the police and get my siblings upstairs).
During this time my grades suffered not only from the stress of the situation, but because I had to take care of my younger siblings (make sure they got to school, got fed, took showers, etc.) and also try to keep them away when my parents were arguing (my brother is really sensitive so I would take him fishing whenever they started to fight so that he wouldn't cry).</p>
<p>In addition, because of the financial situation after the divorce, my mom moved my siblings and I from Florida to California a few months ago (the middle of my junior year).</p>
<p>Sorry for this rant, I just really need advice. I feel like I have really tired hard to challenge my self in high school (I was in a full IB program in FL and taking AP classes as a freshmen) and now I feel as if it were all a waste because I decided to keep my brothers and sister out of harms way and away from the fighting, rather than study.</p>
<p>Please give me some advice on what to do, any help is appreciated.</p>
<p>Sounds like you’ve been through a really tough experience, India, and handled it like a trooper. I’m sorry it had an impact on your GPA, but that won’t keep you from getting into a good school.</p>
<p>Don’t make this the focus of your main essay: Schools are looking to get to know you better and want to know what you can contribute to the school. You are so much more than your parents’ divorce. I would have the school counselor make note of the situation in his or her recommendation, especially the more traumatic aspects of it. Also at the end of the common application, there is a space for you to add information that is relevant but didn’t appear elsewhere. Use that space to note that as a result of your parents’ divorce you have had to assume exceptional responsibilities at home - caring for siblings, helping with homework, managing the household - as well as endure financial hardship. Although it impacted your grades in the short term, as did changing schools mid-year, you are now back on track and looking forward to college. Keep in mind too, that caring for siblings and managing the household are considered ECs, so don’t worry if you don’t have the usual clubs. If getting a job will help your family, that’s also an excellent EC and one that schools will respect.</p>
<p>Everything M’s Mom said plus this: you have already learned what many people don’t learn for years – how to get through a very difficult, destabilizing time and bounce back. It’s great you got B’s! Many people would have just given up. I agree – the divorce is not who you are – who you are is someone who was drawn into the awful, messy end of a relationship between two people you love. And you’ve managed to not be used by either side. I’m sorry this happened. Good luck.</p>
<p>I don’t know what schools you’re applying to, but when I filled out my applications (all for state universities in the Midwest), they all had a section where you could talk about special circumstances you would like those reviewing applications to consider. That would be a good place to mention the difficulties you went through and explain how it affected your academic performance. Between your parents divorce, the new responsibilities, and moving across the country, you’ve been through a lot, and it would definitely be a good idea to let the schools you’re applying to know.</p>
<p>It sounds like you’ve done very well, especially considering the circumstances, and many colleges would be lucky to have you. Best of luck!</p>
<p>Yes, have your counselor address it. As awful as your situation was, it’s important that you don’t count on getting into any schools your grades don’t suggest you will. It’s difficult for colleges to parse individual situations. So apply to some reaches, but have a strong foundation of match and reach schools.</p>
<p>I’m rethinking my original post, in part because I wonder how well your counselor knows you since you’re new at the school. </p>
<p>Do you want to write about it for your essay(s)? If you feel like this is a formative experience and one people should know about if they want to know about you, then write about the divorce. If you feel like you’ve gained some wisdom and perspective on relationships or resilience or choices people make and you could write a good essay about it, then do so. The divorce and the traumatic events surrounding it could very well be part of an essay about a significant experience (which I believe is still one of the main essay prompts). </p>
<p>I think you need to write it, then let it sit, then read it a few days later and ask yourself if it conveys what you want.</p>
<p>You can write about your ‘context’ in the section of the application Papertown referred to: Don’t use up crucial ‘real estate’ in the essay sections. If your primary essay is on this topic, you could easily leave admissions staff with the wrong impression about who you are and what you have to offer. (It’s very difficult to sound ‘wise and resilient’ rather than traumatized when its’ all still so recent.) Even if you do it brilliantly, you can do it brilliantly elsewhere in the application.</p>
<p>Classes’ point that your GC doesn’t know you well is a good one, though. It simply means that you need to spend time making sure that he or she gets to know you well and understands your situation. Make an appointment and talk with him or her about your concerns about your home situation, your grades impacting your college choices, and anything else on your mind (like how you’ll pay for college maybe?) The better he or she knows you, the more help they can provide.</p>
<p>India2013-impressed with the way you have handled such a terribly trying time in your life so well and at such a tender age.What you have done and are doing for your siblings is fantastic.To do one’s duty is the biggest feat of them all and you have succeeded in doing so.Way to go!!
My suggestion is that include this part in your app but be careful with the flow.Use this personal tragedy wisely and in such a way that it brings you out as a mature and positive person who can handle challenge.It’s very easy to write out a sob story and sound like a cry baby.</p>
<p>Thank you everyone who has responded, I truly appreciate it.</p>
<p>What I think I am going to do is make one of my essay’s about the positive way in which the divorce really woke me up. The summer after my sophomore year when everything had started to settle down I decided I needed a change and that I could not let this event define me any more. Since then I have lost about 80 lbs (I was always a chubby kid and also gained a LOT of weight during the divorce) and have made my school work my main focus. During elementary and middle school I had always been one of those kids that was in the gifted programs and never studied but still aced every test. The effect the divorce had on my grades made me see what it felt like to not me able to just coast; I actually had to try hard to receive the grades that I got. I remember starting my junior year and making a point to sit front and center in all my classes and participate as much as possible. Luckily, that work payed of and I was able to make almost all A’s in the first semester of my junior year, a 4.71 for the semester Hopefully this upward trend will help me as far as college admissions go.</p>
<p>As for my counselor, I have met with her about 5 times in the few weeks I have been at the school and she has always been very helpful and understanding; she is truly a wonderful person. She told me when we had our initial meeting (to figure our schedules) that she would do whatever was needed to help me when college applications came around. Although she was not my counselor while my parents were getting divorce, I feel that if I explain the situation to her that she will be willing to describe the divorce in more detail in her recommendation. In this way, I will be able to focus on the things that really define me as a person.</p>
<p>Do you think that this is a good idea? Again, I thank everyone who has responded as it has truly given me some hope and peace of mind about my situation.</p>
<p>P.S. I have a chance me thread for UCLA that I will post a link to. I know that my stats are a bit on the low side for the school but I also know that the school prides itself in its holistic admission process and therefore will hopefully take into consideration my situation when evaluating my application. I hope that those who have read and posted on this tread are able to give me some constructive feed back on what chance I may have and what I could possibly do to make my application stronger.</p>
<p>I’m glad to hear that your GC is in your corner. Your reaching out to her shows a lot of maturity and forethought. Now do the same with a few teachers, because two of them need to write letters of recommendation for you, and they will be impressed if they know what you’ve accomplished on the personal front.</p>
<p>I have no crystal ball about college admissions, but I think you are the kind of person who is going to do very well in life. Congrats on the weight loss, by the way - that’s a significant achievement. You have the maturity, the resilience, the determination and the sense of responsibility to go far. Whatever college you do attend will be fortunate to have you.</p>
Hopefully this upward trend will help me as far as college admissions go.</p>