<p>Based on my interests and passions and skills, I vaguely narrowed down my choices to CS and Geog. The truth is, I need to do more research, but every time I try to take the time to do research, either I get interrupted, easily distracted, easily get discouraged as the information I find hardly tells me ANYTHING about what to expect, or just trying to search for all this information makes me feel drained and nauseous. I’ve been meaning to see a psychiatrist and a doctor, and I even saw a psychiatrist when I was at college, but now that I am at home, it’s difficult to try and get mom and dad to take me to the doctor without telling them something that will make them worry, or worse, refuse to take me. I don’t have money of my own to go see one. I don’t even have a vehicle or driver’s license, and I live out in the middle of the country.</p>
<p>I need to go out and live more to discover what I am truly good at and what I truly have a passion for. According to many people, I never got a chance to even begin this phase, let alone develop some realistic mindsets and social skills, because I’ve been homeschooled most of my life, and locked up in the house all of my life. I’ve even been told by a few other people online before graduating from High school that I should wait a few years before going to college, but I ignored them because I just wanted to get out of the house and experience THINGS and PEOPLE for once, and I didn’t want to wait another year.</p>
<p>Of course, every time I try to explain my problems to someone who’s not a professional, they just nag me and try to make me feel guilty about not being happy with where I am now in life and having a family and being in my parents’ home, which I find offensive because 1, it doesn’t even begin to help, and the fact remains that I have issues and I want to change my life. ,but what was I expecting them to be able to do?. 2, how dare they say I don’t love and appreciate my family? If anything, after finally being in college and seeing how greedy, manipulative, judgmental, selfish and uncaring most people are, I appreciate my family more now than ever before, and am thoroughly convinced that my family might be the only people in the entire world who would ever care about me and love me for me. Friends are expendable and go away over time but are still important and great to have, and I’d be LUCKY to find a woman who would actually love me, ESPECIALLY at my age and in this culture and in this economy.</p>
<p>Honestly, I don’t regret jumping right into college, but it kind of sucks that I don’t even know enough about myself and the world to begin making a firm decision on what I want to do for the rest of my life.</p>
<p>I’ve been looking into this WWOOF program, but I don’t have confidence in it. If it works, though, I wouldn’t mind going to a different country and helping someone with a farm. At the most, I would be a nice change in scenery, a great way to meet new people, a good way to experience some kind of work, and a good way to make the summer fly by. Even if it ends up being a bad experience, at least it will make me appreciate being at home with my parents and baby sister even more!</p>
<p>Sorry for the rant and triple-post. I just really felt like getting that out, and the forum started to act picky about how I posted things. Most likely due to the length of the post.</p>