<p>@cpt,</p>
<p>There is some truth to your cynicism about who gets into an Ivy. One of the seniors suddenly got off an Ivy WL after parents donated a new building</p>
<p>As parents, I think we have to help our kids strike a healthy balance between aspiration and reality. There is nothing wrong with an eighth grader who has big dreams of attending Harvard, Yale, or Princeton. Indeed, those dreams may impel your child to work hard, succeed, and do great things in high school. The trick is helping your child keep those dreams in perspective, especially as they get older.</p>
<p>High school years are precious, and no child should squander them in monomaniacal pursuits regardless of whether they get into Harvard, Yale, or Princeton. You may enjoy putting a fancy college decal on your car and proudly talking about your childs college acceptance at cocktail parties. But your child will emotionally and socially stunt her development if she gives up her life to get into college. And if she doesnt get accepted to her dream school, there is always the risk she will burn-out.</p>
<p>For most kids, this wont be a problem. They will adjust their college dreams to reality. And if they dont, their prep school college counselor will ground them in that reality. Many a student begins Andover, Exeter, or St. Pauls with dreams of attending Harvard only to discover in the spring of eleventh grade that their college counselor has rated their chance of admission there as unlikely. For those unfamiliar with admission speak, unlikely means a less than 5 percent chance of admission. </p>
<p>I dont want to overemphasize the doom and gloom aspect of college admission. Getting into an elite college is difficult. But its not impossible. Scores of kids from top prep schools will matriculate to an Ivy League college next year. And very few of them will annoyingly have a building named after their parents. So, kids dont give up your hopes. Just sprinkle some reality on them. Work hard. Have fun. But keep things in perspective. Try to realize your dreams. Just dont let them define you.</p>
<p>^Bravo jmilton!! And I would add that there are plenty of schools as good as, and as well known as, Ivies.</p>
<p>…especially for undergrad, where a smaller college or univ. may have much better teacher/student interaction.</p>
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<p>Maybe. In an extreme scenario. But the question begs - why this fixation on Ivies? What can you get that you won’t get somewhere else? </p>
<p>Don’t get me wrong - I also have a Harvard connection so I kind of understand why people “want” it. Ivy’s are wonderful schools. But honestly - choose because it’s the right place, not because you perceive going there will elevate your status in some way (unless you’re from an international region where that’s all that counts in which case - okay - I get that too). The truth is - they are good schools that are well funded. But they aren’t the only good well funded schools in the US and sometimes, a different school will actually put you closer to your goal.</p>
<p>^ bump! Schools and colleges are like shoes-- what matters is the fit–not the price tag, the name or the fancy goo-gaws. If they don’t fit then then even the 'best" shoes will cause blisters.</p>
<p>If you haven’t read the late Loren Pope’s book about colleges that matter–do so. Now I went to HYP and one of my kids does as well so it’s not sour grape–for the right kid HYP can be terrific–but another is at a NESCAC school and it was the absolute right choice for her–my God-daughter is at Rhodes and she is having an extraordinary education. There are lots of fantastic colleges-- just like there are lots of fantastic schools–don’t go by name, please.</p>
<p>For what it’s worth: I went to an Ivy (decades ago) and have worked in low-paying noprofits my whole life. I never thought about how having that name on my resume would make a difference, but it has - people make certain assumptions about you. It lets you skip having to prove yourself in certain situations. Everywhere you go, there is someone who went to your school who will give you a second look or second chance because you went there too. On the other hand, I don’t know that I wouldn’t have been happier and gotten more out of my college experience if I’d picked a smaller, more friendly environment. (My particular school hadn’t been coed for very long when I went there, and I didn’t realize until fairly recently what a boys club it was, how hard it was for women to find mentors and role models, and how important that was.)
Not sure if that’s answering anyone’s questions, since I didn’t come from a boarding school.</p>
Wonderful and informative reply.
If you’re an unhooked kid, then definitely YES.
I am not sure what “an unhooked kid” is?" I know I have 2 PhDs, have written 7 books that are all critically acclaimed and teach at an Ivy League. I also know ijmilton is correct.