<p>Twisted Kiss–OK, add offices, and dorm rooms, and concerts. </p>
<p>The young woman from VTech who went missing from a Metallica public concert has been found dead on Virginia farmland. That is what to worry about, parents.</p>
<p>legitamate, I’m terribly sorry to hear of your unthinkable loss. I certainly understand why you would be more protective of your D than a parent who had not experienced such a loss.</p>
<p>Nevertheless, it seems overwhelmingly likely she would be perfectly safe at the interview. To allay your own concerns, you could drive here there and wait outside. Your D could just say, “My mom is going to wait for me” to explain your car sitting in the driveway. I did that at one of my S’s interviews, which was at least 30 miles away (and he didn’t have a driver’s license).</p>
<p>“She was very put off, thinking it was inconsiderate that this man had not thought to ask beforehand. Out of 8 interviews, this was the only one in a home.”</p>
<p>A doctor alum took his time to interview a student, and she was put off because he neglected to ask about whether she had a cat allergy. I’m floored that the young woman was too passive/timid to explain to him – a doctor no less - that she was allergic, and to ask politely if it were possible that the cat be relocated to another room. </p>
<p>Sure, it would have been nice if he had asked if she had a cat allergy, but considering all that was on his plate, I am not surprised that he neglected to ask that. I don’t think it would have been expecting too much for the student to ask if it were possible to relocate the offending animal.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, during my on campus Harvard interview, I sneezed the whole time and had red, itchy eyes apparently due to exposure to some plant pollen there (Same thing happened to me early in my freshman year at Harvard). Still, I not only survived the interview, but felt that I did well. I’d always prefer an interview-- even in an area that provokes my allergies --to having no chance to sell myself in person.</p>
<p>i was asked to interview at the homes of both my princeton and yale interviewers. as a 17 year old female, i was uncomfortable with the situation and politely asked both if they would mind interviewing at nearby coffeeshops. both accepted and neither seemed upset about it at all.</p>
<h1>204-Everyone has a right to their own comfort level. To be in touch with those feelings and act upon them at age 17 is very cool.</h1>
<p>Here’s my “scary” interview story: My DD had an interview (for an Ivy) at an alum’s home nearby (we live in a big city in Texas) at 7pm. After one and one half hours had passed, I started getting a little bit nervous. After almost two hours, I decided to drive to the house (I did not know the exact address, but I looked it up in anywho.com). My husband said to me that if I was that nervous, I should call the house, but I feared my DD’s wrath more ;). I found the house with my DD’s car in front of it, but the shades were drawn, and I continued to be apprehensive. Fortunately, 5 minutes later (just as I was thinking about driving to the back and maybe peeking through the windows), she came out of the house with a smile on her face, and I quickly drove away! She had great interview, and I eventually fessed up to my “stalkng.” I got a huge eyeroll from my DD for that. I guess I need to lay off the Stephen King novels!!</p>
<p>fauve: If you read the recent UPenn safety thread on PF, you’ll find that we’re not supposed to worry about that either.</p>
<p>I interview in my parents’ home, because it’s located in a neighborhood near a prep school that produces a lot of applicants. My office would be far less convenient for these students. My parents have a cat, and I DO ask if the student is allergic (I think the doctor should have volunteered that information, and if he didn’t, the student should have spoken up when the cat entered).</p>
<p>I do think a parent waiting in the driveway, one cell-phone button away, and prepared to barge in if the student doesn’t appear at the appointed hour, is a whole lot of safety net for a high school senior.</p>
<p>mummom- My argument is to worry about bonafide danger-- shootings in Philly are real and documented reasons for paranoia. Assaults by Ivy home interviewers are figments of the imagination.</p>
<p>It may surprise you, but this I can strongly agree with: “but you can permit me to think that it would be a better world if you didn’t have to do that,” JHS. I agree it would be a far better world if a single young woman had no fear of me, and I had no fear of false allegations. I could hope for a better world still, where no man or woman was ever robbed, raped, no arsons ever committed, no false allegations ever raised. I can even wish for a world where no policemen or military was ever needed.
Until that world becomes a reality however, I must be prudent with my business and I recommend a high school girl to do the same.</p>
<p>I don’t consider myself paranoid- I don’t have an irrrational fear that everyone is plotting against me. But I understand some may make false allegations is they are hurt or mad at me. I am prudent as JHS puts it to avoid the possibility. False allegations do exist- many many pages were devoted here to the boys at Duke- both before and after the allegations were shown to be lies.</p>
<p>I know, fauve. Read the thread I referred to and you’ll understand what I was wisecracking about. :)</p>
<p>Here’s another thought for all those parents who are so proud of their street smart kids: We all know that kids pick up on their parents’ fears. So they may also pick up on their parents’ expectations that they have no fears.</p>
<p>As a college freshman fresh from the interviewing and application process, I would say that the request is not odd whatsoever. To be frank, had a friend voiced concern about this request, any one of my other friends and I would have been fairly shocked- this process coincides with maturing and becoming an adult (the latter of which the interviewer expects). Being an adult means no longer being afraid to go to people’s houses. I did, however, attend a boarding school, and so perhaps a premium was put on independence beyond what is the norm. Beyond that, this interviewer had presumably interviewed many kids before and has been vetted by the school.</p>
<p>Sorry mummom- I stopped reading the Penn/Philly thread when it devolved into a debate on NE rudeness vs. southern manners. Let me know what post numbers you were looking at.</p>
<p>Excellent logic, BobBrown.</p>
<p>If I was the mother of a daughter who had an interview in a male alum’s home, I would simply go to the door with her, introduce myself and say I will be waiting in the car with a book. This inconvenience’s no one.</p>
<p>Oh, I do apologize, legitimate, I had not read your post about your loss; I did not mean to make light of your posted question at all, and completely understand your caution. In fact my daughter was initially uncertain about the home setting and wanted me to wait in the car outside, and she did have her cell phone conveniently on hand just in case. As an attractive girl she’d experienced unwanted attention from men before, and had no idea what to expect–this was the first interview. All of her friends had only interviewed in public places. As it happened it was at night and they sat in front of a picture window. Maybe this was deliberate on the interviewer’s part. At least that, and hearing a family member in an adjacent room, was reassuring. </p>
<p>I don’t think interviewers should object if a kid doesn’t want to meet in their home. The kid shouldn’t have to give a reason. There are a lot more kids than you might think who have been molested (not by interviewers but by adults) and who have rational reasons to be cautious. However, they should not be made to feel they have to disclose their personal history to avoid an interview situation that feels potentially less than safe. It occurs to me that allergies might be an excuse?</p>
<p>I have interviewed only a few individuals in my home (I am an Ivy alumna) when it was just more convenient for us both–and it is very true that interviewers sometimes have to pack in many students in a few weeks, and have busy jobs/ lives.
Having said that, I also don’t believe interviewers are vetted, except for the “I know this person” reference, etc. Interview suggestions and “etiquette” are explicitly detailed in the materials I received, and it is clearly stated that some students will have their parents in tow, and to have another room for them if you are interviewing in your house. While that seems dated to me–and I agree that students are generally more independent and often drive themselves–there is certainly nothing wrong with having a parent in another room, and no interviewer would be shocked by that. It is not about independence necessarily. I have had to meet students “half-way” when they lived several hours away–this is a rural state–and so a parent often might come for the drive, and we end up in a coffee shop or the like. Basically, interviewers just want to have a pleasant experience, too and want the student to be comfortable. Bring mom in this circumstance. The interviewer will be gracious and the student won’t be uncomfortable. Let’s face it–it could be quite pleasant or it could be downright creepy–an Ivy or any degree does not mean one might not be creeped out! Safety first when in doubt!</p>
<p>I find myself wondering what would be the interviewers notes on the candidates under some of the solutions presented above?</p>
<p>“Candidate unwilling to meet face-to-face due to parental fears.”</p>
<p>“Candidate preferred phone interview, so I cannot evaluate interpersonal skills.”</p>
<p>“Candidate may have maturity issues.” (that’s when the mom rings the doorbell before the interview)</p>
<p>I can see why some colleges do not allow alumni to interview from home, as a matter of policy. Anyone who cannot come to their home – for any reason, stated or unstated – is at a competitive disadvantage to those who can.</p>
<p>There is a difference between “mom” not feeling comfortable and the daughter not feeling comfortable. Sometimes one can get an intuitive feeling about the circumstances–I believe it is important to go with that. Interviewers will only read into the actions of the students–believe me, we know parents can be overbearing, pushy, strange, or any number of things—thankfully, one does not judge the student based on the parents. (And I am not suggesting that the concern is strange in this thread—just that parent actions have gone far beyond this in many cases, and I do NOT hold that against a kid–they don’t choose their parents!)</p>
<p>My daughter had an interview at a female alum’s house. My daughter didn’t say she thought it was weird, so I didn’t say so either. Instead, I googled the person to make sure they existed & had the address & phone # from the email they sent. My D texted me when she got there & 45 minutes later to say she was leaving.</p>
<p>That worked for me.</p>
<p>DD had an interview at Starbucks which must have run over. Her interviewer looked at the time; wrapped things up and bolted. In the time it took her to bus her table and walk to the door, two different men approached her and complemented her on her “interview.” The second, highly recommended his alma mater for her intended major!
I’m guessing some privacy issues occur at public places!
DD has benefitted greatly from even the process of these interviews- which we appreciate.</p>