<p>I don’t think sending your child to study at an Ivy League school appears to be safe based on the quality of so many of their graduates in Washington.</p>
<p>debrockman - what does that have to do with price of tea in China?</p>
<p>Political evaluations are discussed in the Parent Cafe-Politics thread. Plenty of opportunity for Ivy-bashing there.</p>
<p>I don’t really wish those things, of course. And any of you folks could trump me by accusing me of setting up a system that would absolutely exclude observant Muslim women from my university, whatever it is – something that would make me shudder in horror and back down immediately. I just want to bring home to the moral-police parents the notion that not everyone agrees with them, and they DO run a risk of prejudicing their children. Not a large one, perhaps, but certainly large relative to the risk that their children will be dishonored by an unscrupulous college interviewer.</p>
<p>Important to remind people that males --including young, strong, healthy ones can be raped and molested. In fact, this apparently happened at a college near me when a male faculty member invited a male student to his home, slipped something into the young man’s drink and then sexually assaulted him.</p>
<p>Parents should be as cautious with their male offspring as they are with daughters. Both can be vulnerable. I do think the odds of something untoward happening are higher with peers – such as during parties – than with faculty and alumni interviewers because drinking or drug use is more likely to occur.</p>
<p>“geeps has it right too, that the unpaid alum interviewer is doing a favor for the school, not for the student.”</p>
<p>While the alum interviewer isn’t necessarily an advocate for the student since the interviewer is assessing the student, the interviewer is doing a favor for the student by giving the student a chance to sell themselves in an interview. That’s why many students will send thank-you notes to interviewers. Of course, the interviewer also is doing a favor for the school.</p>
<p>Am I to draw from your posts, JHS (esp 179) that you think of me, as a 50 yr old man foolish to bring another adult to an interview with a single female prospective tenant? I don’t fear her physically, but I have other concerns. Do you think my other concerns are irrational? Do I mistakenly think I am smart to avoid false allegations, because false allegations rarely occur?</p>
<p>If the college interview is required then whoever is hosting the interview is doing no favor for the student. They are doing a service the school requires. They are without a doubt using their time and expertise, but not at the request of the student, but at the request of the school. If they do that service for the school for free, then it is a favor to the school. Of course if interviews are uncommon, and the student requests one and it is granted, then that is certainly a favor to the student.</p>
<p>"Establishing a venue for HER interview in which she feels right is to her advantage as an applicant. Why don’t you think she should take the situation and reins in hand and ASK for that accommodation? That sounds very mature and college-ready to me.</p>
<p>I see requesting a changed venue as practice for strengthening a young woman, while others see her need to speak up for herself as demonstrating she is weak.
That’s the backwards logic and I just don’t get it."</p>
<p>Well said. Some of you think you’re just allowing your children to spread their wings by encouraging them to walk into a setting such as an interview in a stranger’s house but what’s so overprotective about encouraging them to establish their own venue by asking for a change? You’re probably right in that 99% of the cases the interview in the home will go off with no hitch, but would you really be ok with your kid being the 1 person that it happened to? We’re talking about minors here.</p>
<p>I’m all for spreading the wings in college, traveling, and such. But as a female, being comfortable with a venue is not paranoid, it’s SMART.</p>
<p>"“Establishing a venue for HER interview in which she feels right is to her advantage as an applicant. Why don’t you think she should take the situation and reins in hand and ASK for that accommodation? That sounds very mature and college-ready to me.”</p>
<p>I find it rude and presumptuous for someone to make such a request. I can understand a student’s explaining that they or their parents feel uncomfortable about an interview’s being in a stranger’s home. I think that to suggest a phone interview would be appropriate as that wouldn’t cause the interviewer to have to be inconvenienced.</p>
<p>Haven’t read the whole thread, but having just conducted an alum interview I find this topic interesting. First, there seem to be some regional differences - Quick glance seems to suggest that perhaps more in-home interviews were conducted in the NE. Is this true? Is this more commonplace in the NE? I have no clue- just wondering.</p>
<p>I do agree that in this day and age both the student and the interviewer are more diligent and cautious of the 'what if’s", and that both people should be comfortable and not inconvenienced or made to feel uncomfortable. I like the idea, if an interview is to be conducted in the home, to let them know if there will be other family members home at that time (so they arent alone in the house) and suggest to the student that they confirm this with their parent and/or invite a parent to be nearby (sitting in the car in the winter, though, may be unreasonable). I’d invite them in to sit in a different room, and offer them a magazine. </p>
<p>In some areas there may be a lot of students requesting interviews and not a lot of alums offering to do them. This is a time consuming, volunteer activity. I met my student at a nearby Starbucks. However, I offered day X, she proposed day Y. She said anytime after 5. I offered 5:30, she changed it. I chalked it up to nerves and accomodated her requests. I also offered to buy her a drink at Starbucks. And I wrote up the report and submitted it last night. Total emails, travel, interview,write-up time was about 2 1/2 hrs. If I had to do a lot of these, it would take time and money. Agree that I am willing to do this, but there are limits. </p>
<p>I happened to be a a meeting last week and found myself sitting next to the gentleman who coordinates the local Yale alum interviews. He said there were something like 380 or so of them performed this year alone (and more requested). We are a big metro area, but I do not know how large or how active the Yale alum club is down here and how many volunteer to conduct interviews. I think if I was called upon to do a lot of interviews and was expected to travel far in our metro area (typically we try to meet applicants half way between their location and ours) I’d burn out real quick. And too, my primary allegiance is to the school moreso than to any one applicant. </p>
<p>Personally, I prefer to meet in a public place, for all the reasons mentioned above. In fact, I was a bit hesitant to give the applicant my cellphone #, and think in the future I’ll simply suggest they email me if there is a problem, as it goes to my phone anyway. What if the interviewer was disabled and not able to drive? I think this is as equally possible as the likelihood of some alum being a perv trying to lure teens/young adults into his home. Most alums are trying to offer this service as a courtesy to their college, and it its too inconvenient, they arent going to do it. They want to help their school and the applicants, but there are limits. That said, I totally understand both sides of the issue.</p>
<p>So if an interviewer cannot offer another location, they should offer a phone interview. My school suggests using public, quiet place or phone interview, but doesnt restrict home interviews. Good common sense should be followed, IMO.</p>
<p>*** cross posted with a couple of posters while I wrote this missive!</p>
<p>Younghoss, I think you are doing exactly what your liability insurer, and mine, would recommend. You are exercising appropriate business prudence, and it is in fact expensive, and presumably people are paying for that, ultimately the tenants you interview. So, no, I don’t think you are foolish at all, but you can permit me to think that it would be a better world if you didn’t have to do that, and to resist extending the same type of practice to every sphere of life.</p>
<p>All this talk of sleazy predator alumni interviewers–yet it was a BIG FURRY CAT that ruined my kid’s interview in her alumni interviewer’s home. No prior warning about the cat–and this was a doctor who should have known better (you can guess the specialty). Itchy hives errupted, eyes teared, nose streamed, as the cat affectionately rubbed on my kids leg. She did not wish to offend the interviewer when he asked if cats were a problem after the cat made an appearance, since the damage was already done, but she was distracted by the physically uncomfortable situation, sniffling and trying not to scratch. She was very put off, thinking it was inconsiderate that this man had not thought to ask beforehand. Out of 8 interviews, this was the only one in a home. </p>
<p>Alums, please ask about allergies before you interview in your home. Even if pets are not present, their dander is still in your carpets and upholstery and allergic kids will react.</p>
<p>Oh, and this was an Ivy (HPY) cat!</p>
<p>OK, at least people are admitting the interviews are safe 99% of the time in a private home. But where is the 1% horror documented? 1% is too high, as there have been NO reports reported here, even anecdotally. I trust CC moms to know of any, and all, evil interview experiences ever documented. </p>
<p>And half of the young adults interviewed are over 18, legal adults, able to sign contracts and fight your wars. </p>
<p>Why must the whole world revolve around the comfort of an 18 year old (and I see it’s really mom’s comfort, not daughter’s by the examples above), rather than the preference of the volunteer?</p>
<p>If a 17 year old cannot comfortably travel to the interviewer’s home, how will she cope at age 18 with her hours alone in airports, on trains, and busses with “strange men”?</p>
<p>Teach fear of the rational risks, not irrational.</p>
<p>^^That Ivy cat is our first documented case of nastiness!^^</p>
<p>Wow. New poster here. My daughter is 17 too, and she interviewed at a male alumns home after school. When she first told me she was going to a house, it did raise my concern about appropriateness, but she was totally comfortable about it. We do live in a very urban city. However she is a black belt in martial arts, and according to her he was exceedingly professional, cordial, and genuinely engaged - interview went very well- he even asked her to teach him some martial art moves! Have to say, time for us to let them spread their wings! BTW, I did wait within 5 minutes to the neighborhood, had a cup of coffee and let her call me when she was done. Hope this helps!</p>
<p>My daughter now has a rational fear of big furry Ivy cats.</p>
<p>Beautifully handled cdj2010- you let her venture independently into the world, yet offered a safety-net, discreetly distanced!</p>
<p>Proxy- Aaachoo!</p>
<p>“If a 17 year old cannot comfortably travel to the interviewer’s home, how will she cope at age 18 with her hours alone in airports, on trains, and busses with “strange men”?”</p>
<p>All of those situations are public places, which nobody is debating about.</p>
<p>If you really don’t feel comfortable sending her there, she could ask in a positive and kind way to relocate the interview. Saying that she would not be able to make it to his house, but can take public transportation to other venues that are more comfortable is an option. That way you can relocate the interview with a better reason than you are uncomfortable with it.</p>
<p>
Does it matter? In some areas, the alumni network may be very dense and it would be easy to find another alumnus interviewer. In other areas, it may be very thin; distances may be far greater. While the alumnus is doing a favor to the college, after all, it is the student who is applying for admission. </p>
<p>As for requesting a different venue, an applicant might consider how much of an inconvenience it would be to the interviewer. I personally think it is all right for a young woman to raise the possibility without giving offence. </p>
<p>Since I have been on CC for a while, let me recall the experience of a former poster. Tlaktan was in junior ROTC and was not able to change out of his uniform before going to his interview which took place at a Starbucks some distance from where he’d been training. During the interview,Tlaktan became unnerved by someone sitting at another table who was staring at him fixedly throughout as if giving him the evil eye and began to feel a bit unsafe.</p>
<p>“If you really don’t feel comfortable sending her there, she could ask in a positive and kind way to relocate the interview”</p>
<p>I think that instead of inconveniencing the interviewer by requesting a change in location, she could just request a phone interview, explaining that her parents are uncomfortable with her meeting a stranger in a private home. The interviewer may then offer to meet her in a public place, but at least will feel that’s his choice, not something that was imposed on him. The interviewer also may offer a phone interview. For all we know, the interviewer is infirm or otherwise not able to interview easily at a public place.</p>