<p>mummom’s description reminded me of a Steven King novel!</p>
<p>The setting and circumstances mummom described might give me pause about allowing my child to enter that house, regardless of the purpose of the visit. </p>
<p>The homes where my D’s had their Ivy interviews were in familiar, established neighborhoods, the type where residents see and know who their neighbors are, and there is plenty of activity going on. Not saying something toward couldn’t happen in these homes, but that it would be surprising for a perpetrator to think s/he might be able to get away with something seriously inappropriate or illegal and have his/her subsequent existence remain unscathed by the neighborhood and community, let alone the law. S/he would have to be incredibly STUPID to do something illegal/inappropriate. The stupidity factor is part of the reason why many people might think it extremely unlikely (but not impossible!) that an alum of a top college would engage in such behavior.</p>
<p>If I read OPs #177 post correctly, in spite of her experience with her son and the motorcycle, she is willing to let her daughter make the decision on the interview.</p>
<p>What if a mom was strongly in favor of having the daughter attend the interview at the alums home because the mom did not see a high risk situation and perhaps did think her daughters request for a public interview venue would be taken negatively by the interviewer? Assume further that the daughter was uncomfortable with the interview arrangement. </p>
<p>Would we support that mom poo-poo-ing the daughters concerns and forcing her to attend the in- home interview? I dont think so. I know I wouldnt and I consider myself a high risk tolerant parent. So, I give tremendous props to OP to see that her reaction to her son’s death isn’t resulting in the mom’s new view trumping her daughter’s decision.</p>
<p>I was the interview subject of a *Parents Magazine *article on using professional out-fitters for adventure trips with young children. My son and I whitewater rafted the trip in *The River Wild *when he was 7 (except the 20’ drop which was on Indian land). I told the interviewer that I would be glad to have the magazine give out my contact information for other parents to contact me after the story ran. </p>
<p>The interviewer told me that they would not run my information because they had previously experienced that anytime they did an article where the activity had a child engaged in a significantly risky endeavor, they received letters to the editor that were highly critical of the parent and many were down right threatening.</p>
<p>I do not think it is a valid observation that low risk tolerant parents do not criticize high risk tolerant parents.</p>
<p>I’ve worked in a business environment in various capacities for 29 years and have never been asked to meet with anyone in their home. Why would you? You’re not entertaining, you’re doing business. I think that’s what lends an air of inappropriateness to this scenario.</p>
<p>I also agree with the poster who said that there is strong criticism directed on this board toward parents who choose to exercise caution in oversight of their minors and the criticism does seem to flow one way; this is why I asked earlier if you folks give your high school seniors a curfew. I think it goes back to parenting style; what you’re comfortable with, I might not be, but that doesn’t make either wrong. As in this case, not being comfortable in a home interview doesn’t make any sort of statement about the parent or the child other than they aren’t comfortable going to a stranger’s house.</p>
<p>For those who say it’s too much trouble for interviewers to go through a background check, then those people shouldn’t be interviewing. My daughter has been background checked and finger-printed every semester and summer for the last four years for volunteer positions working with children. So the interviewers are busy…everybody’s busy.</p>
<p>“The stupidity factor is part of the reason why many people might think it extremely unlikely (but not impossible!) that an alum of a top college would engage in such behavior.”</p>
<p>Ok, so now we’ve been told that alums of top colleges or ivies have more character and now they are smarter too than those who didn’t attend those schools…… ;)</p>
<p>It seems to me that this is not only a low risk, but an infinitesimal risk. As somebody else pointed out, it’s far more dangerous to let your teenager drive a car.</p>
<p>“I’ve worked in a business environment in various capacities for 29 years and have never been asked to meet with anyone in their home. Why would you? You’re not entertaining, you’re doing business. I think that’s what lends an air of inappropriateness to this scenario.”</p>
<p>But the interviewer isn’t an employee of the college, the interviewer is a volunteer with the college, and except for some large cities, which may have things like Harvard Clubs, where alum interviewers may be able to hold interviews, the college probably doesn’t have an office that the interviewer can use.</p>
<p>While we’re on this subject, some alumni associations hold social gatherings at private homes for applicants and accepted students to meet alumni. The local chair of my region’s Harvard alumni interviewing committee used to do this. He has a large, spacious home. Alcohol as well as other beverages were served (though presumably the minors had the good sense not to drink alcohol).</p>
<p>I’ve even invited accepted students and committee members to my modest home for dinner.</p>
<p>To both events, only students – not their parents – were invited.</p>
<p>Would parents here allow their students to attend such events?</p>
<p>Another difference I see (and have actually felt, since both of my D’s are now Ivy students), is that these interviewers are my D’s potential future fellow alums. There is a a special relationship between alums, especially from colleges that are smaller and have excellent alumni networks. So I viewed these interviewers as my D’s future alum-friends in our community, not as employees of a company who are just doing a job.</p>
<p>D1 went to school across the country in an area that is not particularly safe in the evening. Before she made her final decision, I told her that I was very worried and she told me not to. She said that she was going to be smart and very cautious at all times and that bad things can happen anywhere and is unlikely to happen. I felt reassured that she understood safety concerns and I was also able to let go of my worries as she was correct in pointing out that one always needs to be cautious and cannot always control what happens. Bad things happen in supposedly safe places, as well.</p>
<p>The chance of something going wrong at an interview is very small. As parents, we always will have concerns for our kids safety. It is something that we live with every single day.</p>
<p>“But the interviewer isn’t an employee of the college, the interviewer is a volunteer with the college, and except for some large cities, which may have things like Harvard Clubs, where alum interviewers may be able to hold interviews, the college probably doesn’t have an office that the interviewer can use.”</p>
<p>I realize that the interviewer is a volunteer and the college probably doesn’t have an office for use. The point is, however, that the situation is for a business purpose, regardless of whether it’s an employee or volunteer.</p>
<p>Nothing untoward happened, but I don’t think the interview itself showed my S to best advantage since he was somewhat apprehensive about the location and I’m pretty sure this was evident. He ended up being waitlisted. Then again, he was rejected at Tufts and that interview was at a Barnes and Noble. Personally, I think the whole alumni interview thing is rather silly. That’s jmo.</p>
<p>The Ivy in question cannot be Cornell because Cornell makes it very clear that they are “meetings” and not “interviews.” I’ve been doing them for 25 years and they haven’t been called or even considered interview for at least 10. I don’t think any of the Ivies actually consider them interviews. They are considered a way for the university to maybe find out a little more about the student – maybe a discrepancy in the application that can only be clarified with a face-to-face discussion (for example, a student who scored poorly on their verbal SATs but comes from a home where English is rarely spoken) – but mostly good PR for the schools so they can look like they care.
In other words, they really don’t count so if your child can’t make it or if you feel uncomfortable, don’t sweat it.</p>
<p>I’m hanging up my clipboard after this year, but, oh the stories I could tell about kids and parents I’ve met over the past 25 years…</p>
<p>My sister had a Chicago interview at someone’s house and it was VERY odd. At first my mom walked up to the door with her because the whole set up seemed strange and the man said “we prefer parents don’t come in.” Fortunately he ended up being fine because his wife, who seemed pretty socially normal, was with him and kept him in line but it was truly a strange situation.</p>
<p>Agree with many – <em>if</em> there is concern, walk to the door together, greet the interviewer and thank them for their volunteer service, excuse yourself and wait in your car.</p>
<p>I’ll bet there has not in the recorded history of elite college interviewing, been a case of abuse… and we’re talking about millions of interviews over the past 30 years.</p>
<p>Oh, and two biases are consistent in these posts –</p>
<p>1) that a female interviewer would represent less danger to a female interviewee than a male
2) that the interviewee would be in more danger than the interviewer</p>
<p>Stopped at the end of page 1. Daughter interviewed with YALE alum in his home. She didn’t drive so I had to take her but stayed in the car. He was very sweet and actually came out to the car to introduce himself to me and tell me how wonderful he thought was my daughter. Starbucks interviews just don’t have time or feeling.</p>
<p>But with regard to item 1, consider this: You are a woman, moving to a city where you know no one, and where the rents are high. You need to share an apartment with another person to make ends meet. You look at the ads on Craigslist to try to find a roommate to share a two-bedroom apartment.</p>
<p>Would you be as comfortable with a prospective male roommate as with a female one?</p>
<p>Neither would I.</p>
<p>And we all know why.</p>
<p>The same rationale applies to the situation with an interview in a non-public place.</p>
<p>My daughter’s first interview was at a male alum’s home, but we had met him and his wife was one of my daughter’s middle school teachers. It never occurred to me that this could possibly be a problem; the hardest part was that their house was relatively out in the boonies for our town and it was dark and raining.</p>
<p>My parents are both Ivy alums and do interviews at our house. They are working professionals volunteering to do this and it’s easier and more relaxed than driving to a Starbucks, hoping to get a table, hoping it is not noisy, etc. </p>
<p>I would let your daughter go but drive her and as someone said, introduce yourself. You can even ask to use the bathroom if you want to check the place out. And google the person before theinterview - if nothing else your daughter will know what he does which might give her something to talk about if there is a lull. </p>
<p>Be sure your daughter has a cellphone so she can speed dial you if she feels uncomfortable. I would bet that you will feel fine and there will probably be other people in the house anyway.</p>
<p>I was actually wondering, how long have most of your interviews lasted? Mine generally go for two hours or so, depending on how talkative the student is.</p>
<p>I have never heard of someone complaining of inappropriate behavior of an alum at a college interview. These interviewers are professionals - they have volunteered because they are passionate about the school and want to help admit the best students! If a student can’t be independent and handle a one-on-one interview, how will they manage to do so in the future? We’re going to college after all, we are becoming independent individuals.</p>