Do I allow my daughter to go to the home of Ivy alumnus to be interviewed?

<p>soozievt, do you think your views would be any different if you were stephenvt?</p>

<p>I think that sentiment has been implied and inferred at least a few times in the past 30 pages. </p>

<p>If nothing else, I guess this opens the door for people to make a decision as to what they will do or how they will respond in the moment. So, if you’re really against going to someone’s home you can offer, “well, if you don’t mind I think I might feel more comfortable if we met at a diner or a starbucks” vs being put on the spot. The student can feel more empowered in the situation if they know they have options going in. However, I still contend it is in opportunity and I am baffled by those who think their offspring are just too special to lower themselves to the idea of interviewing OR who insists there is nothing but leaches out there waiting to pounce on their unsuspecting kid.</p>

<p>But I would agree, that having some phrases and responses at the ready when uncomfortable situations arise are good for anyone, in lots of situations.</p>

<p>Soozie:</p>

<p>Thank you for your post. Remembering your D’s horrific car accident in high school, I can see how your family weighs different kinds of risks and makes decisions accordingly.</p>

<p>Oh, I want to share that while in college, S did door-to-door canvassing, sometimes in the evening. He got into a dangerous situation, all right: he walk to the door of a house that had an invisible fence and gotten bitten by the owners’ dog. Since the owners were not in, it was impossible to find out whether the dog had been vaccinated, so S had to go to the emergency room for anti-rabies shots. Not nearly as scary as your D’s experience!</p>

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<p>Soozie- I think it is just seniors applying to selective schools that are too busy. The ones applying to the state school dregs etc. have plenty of time because they don’t do ECs, etc. Of course, they don’t have to worry about alumni interviews, either!</p>

<p>Soozie - great post. I wanted to post earlier to thank all interviewers for taking time out to help out school/students, but was too busy at work. So, here is my belated thank-you, without you it would be hard for adcoms to get additional colors on all of those top applicants.</p>

<p>Building on 07dad’s summary:
The student may accept to go to an interview at the interviewer’s home.
The student may ask for a change of venue:“Would it be convenient for us to meet at xxx instead?”
The interviewer may accommodate the student.
The interviewer may refuse to do so. In this case, the student may either accept to go to the interviewer’s home or decline the offer of interview.
The student may then contact the admission office to set up an interview with another alumnus.
The admission office may not be able to provide an alternative interviewer and reassure the applicant that not having an interview will have a negative effect on the applicant’s chances of admission.</p>

<p>Marite - exactly! It’s an opportunity. You have options. You merely have to accept the consequences (both good and bad) of your decisions. What a concept.</p>

<p>Momof3- I think your post was a tad of a leap (and mostly incites a writing riot on a cc thread) when you suggest that a state school is a dreg and those kids aren’t busy. Just sayin… :)</p>

<p>I highly suspect MOWC was joshin’, given that she went to a large state school herself!</p>

<p>I was just going to say the same thing about MOWC’s post, pizzagirl. But kudos to Modadunn for posing her question/concern in a diplomatic fashion, without making a disparaging comment and starting a flame war.</p>

<p>Thanks to, to oldfort for acknowledging the efforts of the volunteer interviewers, and again lisiting a summary of options that have dotted this thread in many pages.</p>

<p>In the form I am supposed to send the school, it has this at the top, with a place for explanation if the interview doesn’t occur

So, if the interview cannot be arranged, a note of explanation is sent and the student is encouraged to contact the school to see if another alum is available. Again, I suspect in reality this happens in a very very small percentage of times.</p>

<p>Here’s something I was pondering. How would parents feel if the person interviewing their student in the home was gay, and of the same sex as the child? Do you think that the interviewer is going to make a pass at your child during the interview? (hypothetical question as the sexual orientation of the interviewer is not likely to be known, let alone known before the interview occurs)</p>

<p>My DH conducted interviews for his Ivy college for a few years. Students from our town usually knew our family pretty well because of our boys’ ages so I assume they didn’t mind coming to our house. Whenever possible, I tried to answer the doorbell and introduce myself. On one or two occasions, the mom of a student being interviewed waited in the car in our driveway. Two of my three kids who applied to Ivies and other top schools had many interviews – some in private homes and some in public places. I have boys so my concerns were more about driving issues and getting lost (my Harvard student asked an interviewer who lived a mile away for directions; I was appalled that my son did not recognize this street in our neighborhood and wondered about the impression this made). I was most concerned when one interviewer’s home was in a more isolated area.</p>

<p>Vote, No.
The interviews were not useful to DS.
The interviews were for informational purposes to student, not for the school.
His LOR, grades, tests scores, essays, and CV should be enough to give school what he is about.
Half of interviews were phone interviews.
I told DS that the interviews were practice to the real world: Meet people, who could later really attain your goal. Find out more about them, than tell them about yourself.</p>

<p>The Grad school interview, is the a Real interview where the school interviews the prospect and the prospect interviews the principal advisor.</p>

<p>Marite,
That is a great summation of the options available regarding the interviews. </p>

<p>And I certainly do not think it is bad parenting to allow my kid to attend an interview in the home of an alumni who volunteered to do admissions interviews. Yes, I am a cautious parent but see this as a next to nil risk (my kid is at more risk driving herself there). This is not a random stranger. Gee, when my kid flew to Europe last summer for a job, the receptionist’s husband, someone she never met, picked her up at the airport. I didn’t think twice. Yes, unlike the tragedy of the OP, whose child died in an accident, I still had a child come close to it in a severe accident where she was quite injured and in ICU. Well, she is still allowed to drive today. She’s been to foreign countries. Her sister has traveled extensively alone in foreign countries including Third World and been in homes, campgrounds, lived alone, etc. etc. She has met many strangers along the way (riskier by far than an alum interviewer who has been vetted and where there is a record of the visit). My girls both live in cities and are on the street very late at night alone. My younger one just told me she is going to do a job with kids in Harlem and the Bronx by herself. In college, they met many people one on one. They have been in professors’ homes, private offices, and so forth. This is part of life for young adults. We cannot shield them from every situation. Some situations involve risks. A college interview involves close to NO risk. Does your kid babysit? A babysitter is in a person’s home with a dad or a mom. My kids have stayed in hotels in strange cities all by themselves. They came across many strangers. In college, a student may find herself in a room with a male student she doesn’t know. In high school, one’s daughter could be given a ride home by a friend’s dad. Or driven home by the adult for whom she baby sat their kids (I recall that many times). And so on. I worry about various risks my kids take every day and in many far off lands alone. But I don’t stop them from living. I am a GOOD parent. My kids check in when they travel alone as soon as they arrive no matter where on the planet they go. When they lived at home, they did not go to kids’ houses that were not supervised. It wasn’t like “anything goes” at all! But go to a college interview at a house? Never thought twice. I see that as no risk. There is more risk if your daughter is at the house of a male student when no adult is home. :D</p>

<p>Marian, if my name was StephenVT, I don’t see the difference. I trust those who volunteer their time to be college interviewers who have a track record of doing so and whose interview will go on record with the school. If someone has untoward inclinations, there are far better ways to carry them out than via an alum interview!! I don’t see going to an alum interviewer’s house as the same as meeting a random stranger.</p>

<p>Also, if you lived in my rural town, there virtually is no place to meet a teen for an interview in the evening, except a bar. This is a small community and going over the house of someone for this sort of purpose is not what one considers risky. Believe me, I DO worry about REAL risky behaviors all the time. This is not one of them.</p>

<p>LongPrime, I just conducted a two hour interview with an applicant to my alma mater. I would say that 5% of the time was talking about the school. 95% of the time was talking about the student. I have so much to write up about this student, including things that were not on her application. I am POSITIVE my college WILL be reading my interview report and they repeatedly tell us that they utilize these as another window on the student beyond the factual written information they have in hand. My interview had nothing to do with grades and test scores and had ALL to do with everything else. There was SO much “everything else” and this particular student was one of the most interesting I have yet encountered and that will all come across in my report.</p>

<p>My first post on this thread was post #7 when I wrote “Just say no”.
I admit it was a knee jerk reaction - I read the OP’s question and didn’t not think before I responded. I never thought this post would produce the number of comments - many of which are very thoughtful - and the reaction that it has.</p>

<p>If any of you who interview were personally offended by any of my comments or posts - for that I apologize, sincerely.
I have now given a great deal of thought to this question and read every single post on this thread. I don’t and never have considered myself a “helicopter” parent or “overprotective”.
One of my kids applied to schools that required of her a number of interviews, in fact. Some she went alone and others that were far away - I went along for company on the ride. No, I never went into an interview with her (lol).</p>

<p>All of that thought and my initial reaction still stands.<br>
It stands for a couple of reasons -

  1. Regardless of all the excuses that interviews give - there are alternatives. Every small town has a library, most high schools will offer an office, even Dunkin’ Donuts and Starbucks have their off peak hours.
  2. I cannot think of any other instance where it would be appropriate for a 17 year old (female) high school student to be alone with an adult male in his home - especially these days where parents who coach 5 year olds in soccer must produce a background check.
    Is this solely an “Ivy League” phenomena? Why? Does the intimidation factor have a purpose? </p>

<ol>
<li> There are colleges who somehow are able to interview their students and fill their class without an in-home interview. Both the Naval Academy and West Point get 12000-15000 applications a year, are highly selective and they require an interview. These are never held in the interviewer’s home and more often than not the interviewer comes to the applicants home (they have good reasons for this).<br></li>
</ol>

<p>I am not sure the “we have always done it this way” is a good enough reason. If nothing else, I hope that some of you who do conduct interviews may be understanding and empathetic to those students and their parents who might find this a little uncomfortable. Allow your excellent education to kick in and be a little bit open-minded about this.</p>

<p>

I think your comfort level may have to do with the fact that you conduct interviews yourself. Put yourself in the position of a parent who perhaps never went to college or never had a college interview.
Does not every small town in Vermont have a library?</p>

<p>Justamom:</p>

<p>I think that it is very possible to make admission decisions without conducting interviews, even for grad school. Not every program necessitates one. Neither my S had one before being accepted into their respective grad program.
I absolutely respect those parents and students who feel uncomfortable going into strangers’ homes. And if they are and interviewers are unwilling or unable to meet them outside their homes, they are at liberty to decline the interview.
I guess that I assess risk differently, having flown as an unaccompanied minor at the age of 8 (and with 6-year old sister in tow) well before that was more commonplace and gone off to college in a strange land at the age of 17, and living in England at the height of IRA bombings.</p>

<p>She should go only if you acompany her and saty outside the room.</p>

<p>Correct me if I am wrong, but there seems to be an assumption that the interviewer will be home alone when conducting the interview. This may or may not be the case. I am guessing (pure conjecture) that the average alum interviewer has been out of school for a few decades. (However, that said, my 23 yr old s is also an interviewer for his alma mater). At any rate, if an interview is conducted in the home, there may be roommates, spouses, kids etc at home as well. Do the parents who have concern about an in-home interview feel the same way about a female alum conducting it in their home? What about the hypothetical posed earlier- if the interviewer was gay and same sex as the student?</p>

<p>Less concern about a female alum, but the same principle applies. Less concern about a gay interviewer and a male student because there is less inequality in physical strength. But the same principles apply regardless of the gender and sexual orientation of the parties involved. </p>

<p>In my opinion, to avoid creating a situation where sexual harassment could occur – or which could lead to accusations of sexual harassment, by either participant, at a later date – interviews should occur in public places.</p>

<p>In the Scouts, where there are strict rules about never meeting alone with individual youths, the same rules apply to both female and male adult leaders. That policy, which was prompted by the problem of sexual harassment and accusations of sexual harassment, seems appropriate for college interviewers as well.</p>