Do I have a prayer to get into any of these colleges despite my school's disadvantages?

You are in great shape. Get some studio time- cable channels are required to provide it as an operational condition to be able to broadcast. Having $80 - 150k annually, bickering parents that refuse to pay- that sort of thing- is bad shape. You are not in purgatory- you are solidly in hell, and colleges are good at dealing with that. If you can get your scores up and do something significant, you can certainly crash into an elite school, which will give you a full ride. If you were an under-represented minority, it would be better.

You are in a state known for its natural beauty. I’m thinking a Tarzan or “Lost” episode along the Buffalo river in the Northwest, with “Blair Witch” shaky camera work and all.

Take the college out of this. If you were forced today to screenwrite and produce a TV episode, what would you do?