<p>Thank you, Xiggi. I knew about the foundation, however I didn't know he was your friend. It must be so painful for you to see that video, I'm so sorry.
[quote]
Is this Gordon Bailey, the same person, who defended his alcohol habits on the old CC, was warned by multitudes, and later was found dead of alcohol poisoning?
<p>That was absolutely harrowing. I cannot understand the desire to drink, especially the desire to drink so heavily, and these tragic stories are those that need to be known as a warning to kids who don't know how to control themselves. I am so sorry this happened to your friend. =(</p>
<p>Lucifer's case was that of an alcoholic. He developed a very high tolerance for alcohol, claimed he couldn't even get a buzz with 12 or more drinks, and, apparently did so regularly. He believed that, because of this tolerance, he was "protected", and that nothing bad would happen to him.</p>
<p>Gordie's case was rather different. Acute alcohol poisoning by someone who likely never drank quite that much previously, egged on in a social situation where, apparently, it was required.</p>
<p>I watched the trailer with my daughter yesterday. Coincidentally she went back to school for the beginning of her third year. This is also the first year she will be a full member of a sorority.</p>
<p>I watch the video first and and I expected, perhaps wished, that she would say "oh dad, that doesn't happen at U...". Well, she didn't say that and instead nodded multiple times and asked me for the link to the site. She wants bring the video to the attention of the Greek Life Coordinator (who probably has seen it already) and perhaps see it with some of her sisters. Whether she goes ahead with these plans or not I am very grateful for the opportunity to discuss the topic.</p>
<p>I will say up front that I believe the legal drinking age should be lowered and I know of, and to some extent condone my children's drinking, but please let's not make a thread about that. The topic has been discussed in detail elsewhere in CC. I only bring it up because I believe the existing law puts colleges in a difficult situation with the unintended and tragic consequence described in the video. I am talking about the refusal of students to seek medical attention in a timely manner.</p>
<p>Of all the issues my daughter and I discussed after seeing the trailer this is the one that worried the two of us the most. She related to me an incident where a girl cracked open her head during a party but was moved to a different house before they called for help. Luckily this was only a bump but we both knew a lot could have gone wrong if they had moved a more seriously injured person.</p>
<p>The school my daughter attends has a strict three strikes and you are out policy. The students are certainly aware of it, and fear being caught, but judging by the amount of drinking that goes on that campus the policy falls way short of its intended purpose and instead merely allows the school to say they are addressing the problem.</p>
<p>The bigger problem is that the 3 strikes and you are out policy does not seem to have a medical amnesty provision. In other words, if you receive medical attention while intoxicated you get a strike. Likewise if somebody brings a person to a medical facility and they are drunk, they also get a strike. I am in the process of confirming this but if it is true this is idiotic. I am not prone to use this kind of adjective but I don't how else to describe such a policy.</p>
<p>While I do my homework I would be interested to know if there are other schools with similar policies or if they make provisions to encourage students to seek medical attention. To me that was the most poignant aspect of the trailer we saw and one that can be addressed with relative ease.</p>
<p>So sorry to hear about your friend, xiggi. I am also familiar with his story, as it is one of the more-publicized cases of incidents that happen all too often. From the trailer it looks as if the movie is very well done, and obviously heartbreaking. His poor family. If they can reach some of these kids it will do a huge service.</p>
<p>I think the pressure on teenagers to fit in, be cool, not be a 'lightweight,' etc. is overwhelming. It's not limited to young teenagers, either. My husband comes from a heavy-drinking family, and seemed almost insecure to be seen in social situations without a drink in his hand. It has taken years and a number of incredibly difficult situations for him to change his ways. For kids who are eager to impress, or just caught up in the moment, it's even more difficult. And after that first drink or two or three, how much sense of judgement is left?</p>
<p>I also remember the defiance and rationalizations of lucifer11287, and how parents here on CC tried to reason with him. SO sad, though am guessing, as mini said, that was a different kind of situation.</p>
<p>thanks for bringing this video to our attention xiggi, and again, I recall that this young man whose life was destroyed so capriciously with help from his "friends", was a friend of yours.<br>
I will pass the link on to our sons.... one son is now 21 and Greek, and has serious responsibilities as host and as example to younger students.
Good luck in your pursuits in graduate school, and thank you for the many concrete ways you have served in helpful ways as a mentor to younger students with many academic and personal challenges still facing them on this board.</p>
<p>Xiggi, I am so sorry about your friend. I'm going to watch the trailer with my 16 year old daughter. Will the whole movie be released on DVD? It should be. There are so many tragic, needless deaths because of alcohol, both from overdoses and accidents. Too many people seem to think that, because it's the only legal mind-altering drug, that it is not a drug and not dangerous, while of course it really is one of the most dangerous drugs, and (if I am not mistaken) the one that causes more deaths than all the others combined.</p>
<p>It's even more unfortunate that despite stories like these people continue to feed the same "if you're responsible about it nothing will happen" BS to others as well as themselves.</p>
<p>piccolo- Show me one example of someone whom tragedy befell as a direct result of their drinking responsibly. If you can show me even a single instance where responsible drinking on the part of the victim led directly, in a foreseeable way, to their misfortune, I will swear off my scholastic pursuits and join a monastery.*</p>
<p>Such a tragedy. My heart goes out to all touched by someone who has been in this situation. </p>
<p>I was/am appalled at the group of college presidents that are trying to lower the drinking age to 18. Why, to have keg parties in the dorms that used to be so prevalent?</p>
<p>I have forwarded a link to the youtube trailer to everyone with teens/college age children.</p>
<p>(arbiter- piccolo was making a point against what others call responsible drinking- ie kids who believe they drink responsibly or their friends do, denying any problem with drinking. Read the post again. )</p>
<p>I did read it more than once. In fact, I decided not to respond the first time I was on the thread, then read it again an hour later. The way I interpret his post, the implication is to all drinking. Until he corrects me, that is how I have to read the post.</p>
<p>As a college student, I will let you know of a few reasons why I choose to drink heavily. None of them are very good ones but they are ways of dealing with my own insecurities. It's not even because everyone else is doing it. I've been a drinker for many years and have seen the short-term (mind you.. very short term) advantages that come from drinking. </p>
<p>It helps me talk to attractive girls that I would normally be intimidated by otherwise- my first kiss was at a bar.
I tend to be louder when I'm drunk and more people will listen to what I have to say.
Some people also tend to be easier to talk to when drunk.</p>
<p>Thanks for your candor, Mondo. I wonder whether the women you speak with would be more impressed with what you have to say when you're sober? </p>
<p>Personally, I've found people who drink heavily tough to have meaningful conversations with. It's especially tough for some of them to recall the gist of the conversations they had while drinking. </p>
<p>You're right that drunks are louder--not sure people really listen to them--perhaps more in the way of avoiding them or are sometimes astounded by what is said by some folks when drunk.</p>
<p>The above are just observations I've made. Obviously there are others who will disagree.</p>
<p>HImom, I will admit that my closest friends (men and women) are more impressed with what I have to say when I'm sober and I am happy to say that I have no reason to get insanely drunk around them and my truest friends would encourage me to never get into that state.</p>
<p>However, I am somewhat of a shy person and have social anxiety which I try to hide. I think it makes for a worse impression for certain people (those who are shallow and 'popular') than being drunk.. I was in only one relationship which didn't go well and ended fairly quickly. My campus is all about the hookup scene and a way to make the hookup scene less awkward is to be drunk (it's very awkward when sober..). It is the truth.</p>
<p>Sorry to hear that. When I was in college (back in the day), the sorority I pledged for was not happy that I didn't drink heavily like everyone else at the parties. I found other groups to mingle with instead and mat many nice people who didn't use alcohol to lubricate socialization. Yes, even 30+ years ago, it was a popular way to ease social anxiety.</p>
<p>There is a lot to be said for progressive relaxation and other means of calming oneself to be more comfortable in social situations. Alcohol as a social lubricant carries huge risks of doing things that will later be regretted. This is true in college and especially later in careers.</p>
<p>I have seen lives ruined by an episode of driving under the influence and other poor choices. The risk of assault (being either the aggressor or victim) and also risk of health complications increases the more, longer and heavier one drinks. Please consider getting some help to quit and find alternatives--they do exist!</p>
<p>Mondo--there are a lot of good books out there on overcoming social anxiety (David Burns has written some good ones, utilizing cognitive therapy). Maybe it would be good to get to the root of the concern. Good luck.</p>