<p>Someone had a post about my parents bragging about other people's kids. That is not what I meant. It is other people's parents bragging about kids that aren't theirs. Just the other day, my aunt kept telling me about some kid w/a 2310 SAT score who is at Wharton. Talk about making me feel stupid. She never mentions how her own kid did though. I know he didn't do well because he told me. I will not disclose an exact number, but I'll just say that it was below 1100 (old format).</p>
<p>Sly_vt, I admire your attitude towards your children. You know that they are good, and that is satisfying enough. You realize that there is no need to tell everyone how great your kids are if you know they are great. As more modesty being important, I couldn't agree more. I even based my college application essay on it.</p>
<p>I brag about kids I pretend to know but dont really know.... ie kids I read about on CC. Look, the kids in my town actually think that 1450 is a good SAT score. Some of these local yokels are applying to Ivy League schools and think they can actually get in!! I try to give them a reality check by bragging about some of the kids I know... er, sort of... "know of".. I think.. if their parents, or the people I think are their parents, are telling.. I mean writing... the truth.</p>
<p>My mother and the parent coordinator of my sister's school are always talking about their children (myself being one of them). I never met this woman and I swear that she knows more about me than I do. I also know some stuff about her daughter. She is applying to 17 schools, many of them reaches, and attends a competitive magnet school that I was rejected from. I myself am only appyling to 7 schools and all except 1 are either matches or safeties. </p>
<p>I remember when I got my Nov SAT results back, it was like they had ESP or something because they encountered each other the next day. The first thing they asked each other was "how did your child do on the SAT." The funny thing was, this woman's daughter and I got the same exact score. At least no one had the upper-hand in the bragging department.</p>
<p>fortunately I am blessed with friends (including co-workers) and family who every now and then ask, "how's ______?"</p>
<p>it opens the door for me to talk about my daughter. what I really enjoy is listening to my friends and family "brag" about my daughter. it saves me from sounding like I am bragging all the time.</p>
<p>I know where you are coming from the Hepstar. I even wondered for a minute if you were my daughter... She doesn't like hearing about herself and doesn't like the bragging at all.</p>
<p>p.s. I agree with the comment made here by another parent. that is the reason we come here, to get a chance to talk about our kids kind of anonymously. but I have made one friend I met in person, and many friends I have shared thoughts with on-line.</p>
<p>There's bragging and then there's bragging. </p>
<p>When people ask me about my kids, I will tell them how the kids are doing, and I will tend to prefer to share good news -- although I might also mention bad news, if significant and if it was not the sort of thing that would be embarrassing to my kid.</p>
<p>But I don't make a big deal of it. When people who haven't seen me in a while ask me how my daughter is doing, I always mention right away that she is attending college "in New York" -- but I don't say what the college is. If they ask, "what college?" - then I will say Barnard -- but I don't like to volunteer that because I don't want to sound like I'm bragging about where my kid is going to school. </p>
<p>I also do plead guilty to "bragging" about some of my kid's friends -- after all, I have known some of these kids for many years, and I often feel a sense of pride in their accomplishments. I think a person can feel proud of someone you know well, especially a kid who you have watched grow up, without taking personal credit for it.</p>
<p>We live in a very small town. Many, many time questions like "How high were her SAT's" and "since she's a girl she must have gotten huge merit aid" and alternatively "Why isn't she valedictorian?" We refused to brag/ answer any questions in detail and basicaly said ask her if you want that info.</p>
<p>We received no local merit scholarships, not a single one. Over 50 scholarships were given to a class of less than 100 ( many multiple winners). DD had highest SAT's in over ten years, was .04 GPA less than valedictorian and otherwise had excellent EC's etc. Got into all but one "elite school" she applied to.</p>
<p>I was loath to "brag" as I find it embarrassing, however we are paying a large price in tuition bills as a result of not participating in the promotion of DD not to mention her sitting in the stands hearing why 20 other students were deserving a merit scholarship. While I find that need repulsive I also have trouble understanding why the top college candidate in years was never once recognized by her peers, school or community.</p>
<p>Long story short.... if DS is in the same position next year we will most certainly promote him with low key "bragging". I hate the thought but top students do deserve the same type of recognition as top athletes.</p>
<p>So here I can brag away. You don't know me,I don't know you and maybe we can all learn from each other.</p>
<p>BRAG..... Cambridge had snow for the first time this year. :)</p>
<p>akdaddy, I don't know about your D's situation, but I have noticed that at my daughter's school, the local scholarships went to the following types of students (in no particular order):</p>
<p>1) Kids who have been very active in community service, or have been involved in various school leadership roles.</p>
<p>2) Those whose parents were "connected" in some way, such as PTA president or the parents who are always volunteering to help with events & fundraising.</p>
<p>3) Kids who everyone knows come from very needy families</p>
<p>I am not sure that self-promotion of stats or other achievements would bring any more awards to your DS -- I actually have never seen those local awards go to the top-performing kids, unless the award itself was competitive and based on academics. In other words, if there had been an award to the kid with the top SAT score, then I am sure that the high school g.c. would have figured out which kid should get that award.... but at my kids high schools there was no such thing. </p>
<p>Maybe your school is different, but keep in mind that in the end, those awards are given to the students that the people who make the nominations like the best. The "award" for highest SAT + GPA is getting into a top college. Both of my kids got WAY more in financial aid offers from the colleges that accepted them than any other kid got in local scholarship -- so I think the best route to merit aid for a high achiever is to look for the colleges which are most likely to offer it, rather than pin one's hopes on the high school.</p>
<p>Akadaddy,
This is off the topic of "bragging", but at our school, students need to apply for most of the local scholarships. The availability of applications in the guidance office was announced at school, and my daughter took it upon herself to go to the guidance office and look through the file drawer containing all of the numerous scholarship applications to see which ones she was qualified to apply for. She ended up with 4 scholarships totalling about $3400 of the ones she applied to plus one very small one ($75) which she did not apply for, which was given to several band members for service to the band. My daugher was in the top 2% of her very large class, not #1 or #2, and definitely did not have the highest SATs. Many of the other top students did not bother to seek out and apply for these - that is probably why my daughter was so successful. I don't know if the situation was the same at your school, or if the scholarships are just given out without application, but I do not consider taking the initiative to fill out applications and get the necessary recommendations and transcripts to be "self-promotion".</p>
<p>Of course we brag about our kids. We are so living vicariously through them. The good thing about bragging about your kids on an anonymous virtual board like this is that you never have to meet your audience in person... :)</p>
<p>I'd like to add that the same is true at my kid's school -- I was thinking mostly about the awards that come from teacher nominations with my above posts, but there are also a number of scholarships that students can apply for. Unfortunately, my daughter did not really qualify for most. The vast majority of scholarships required a showing of significant need, and even though my daughter qualifies for a large amount of need-based aid at her college, I felt our family income was too high for the guidelines for most scholarships. </p>
<p>Many other scholarships required a showing of extensive community service and/or leadership type activities -- and it just didn't fit my daughter, who focused on other pursuits during high school, and only had very modest accomplishments under those categories. </p>
<p>Some scholarships were geared to specific minority groups, but they didn't seem to have one for "caucasian". :)</p>
<p>My daughter is a dancer and there was one for students who wanted to pursue an art as their college major but, alas, my daughter doesn't want to major in dance. </p>
<p>Finally there was one very big scholarship in performing arts that required submission of a video; but I knew that my daughter's audition tape didn't really fit what they were looking for. </p>
<p>My d. did apply to anything that seemed at all like a "fit", but in the end it turned out there weren't that many. </p>
<p>Of course - the situation would have been very different if she had fit the categories they were looking for. Financial need was the primary barrier, because the vast majority of the scholarships specified that they were geared for low-income families.</p>
<p>The scholarships my daughter applied for and was awarded did not consider family income. One was from the teacher's union, awarded to 5 students, based on a short essay about an inspirational teacher. Another was for a female member of marching band, set up the friends of a former band member in her memory, based on academics, ECs, etc., NOT musical talent. One was a community service award open to residents of our town regardless of the high school attended, awarded to about 10 students altogether. The final one was from a scholarship fund set up in memory a family member, and was a county-wide scholarship awarded on the basis of academics and an essay about the student's goals and plans, also awarded to a number of students in our county.</p>
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<p>The bottom line is that I hate it when people brag about kids, whether it is their own or other people's.<<</p>
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<p>Get used to it Hepstar. The bragging about kids goes on and on. My dad bragged about me (and embarrassed me with it) right up until he died - when I was nearly 50 and he was nearly 80.</p>
<p>Hmmm. I guess I brag about other people's kids too. I never really thought about it before. But, yeah, when it comes up in conversation (usually with other adults), I'll say, so and so is a really good (swimmer, actor, musician etc.) . . . I guess I brag a lot more than I realized! I'll have to give it some thought.</p>
<p>I know I used to hate it when I was young and I felt I was being compared to someone else. I felt some pressure from my Grandma to be more like someone else's kid sometimes. I HOPE I'm not doing that to my own kids!</p>
<p>I never do this IRL myself, but I'm actually somewhat tolerant of this kind of thing in others as long as it's not overdone. I did have a friend years ago who did this nonstop, a very bright woman who should have known better. It drove everyone she knew absolutely stark raving bonkers and she actually lost friends because of it (I, myself was lucky and moved out of town)! In my limited experience, people who brag (to that degree) are either insecure, the type who were never complimented themselves and are compensating, those who don't pick up on social cues, or those who think you are such close friends that surely it's OK to do this with YOU!! </p>
<p>Message board "bragging" can be different, sometimes there's a purpose for the information, sometimes it's great to share happy news with those who know the ups AND downs of a particular kid. I've actually not seen much evidence of the objectionable type of bragging here on the parent's forum at all, but can understand how someone reading here for the first time may very well misinterpret some posts that way.</p>
<p>We try not to too much. When you have friends whose kids are in rehab or flunking out, the last thing they want to hear is how great your kids are. We usually don't bring up too much unless asked. Most folks know because of news coverage during HS years, so often we hear "nice article on your S/D" where'd they end up at? </p>
<p>We are very proud of them for sure, but we also let them know how their college decision problems, weren't really problems but can't lose situations that other families would love to have. So they kept any decision indecision gripes amongst us. Being up to your waist in gold, might be alittle uncomfortable, but it's STILL gold. Whining about what college to go to for free or next to nothing is not a problem anyone else needs to hear.</p>
<p>OK, I brag about my kids. But would you rather hear this:</p>
<p>18 y/o is struggling to get a C in his college Latin class
15 y/o fell in 2 of 3 skating shows she performed in last weekend
13 y/o can't carry a conversation/make eye contact; his "EC" is reading the dictionary
11 y/o has huge ears, crooked teeth, is lazy and bad tempered
7 y/o is a spoiled, whining drama queen
4 y/o eats nothing but chicken nuggets and won't sleep in her own bed
2 y/o refuses to wear clothes, has a runny nose and a dirty diaper</p>
<p>Probably not. (This is what Grandma is going to tell all the relatives about my kids when she gets home from her visit with us. . .)</p>
<p>atomom-- you have seven kids? I have five, and could post very similar things. I think I'll stick to "bragging." LOL.</p>
<p>Opie -- so true. One of my dearest friends is going through something very difficult with one of her kids, similar to what you referred to. So, no, no bragging about the kids going on in our conversations lately. I hope that things turn out so that she will be bragging about this child again someday, I really do.</p>
<p>Atomom, I would rather not hear much of anything about someone's kids, whether it be good or bad. At least if a parent were to tell you how bad his/her child is, it might make you appreciate your own child more.</p>