<p>I'm actually not a parent, but I figured all you parents might be able to put my problem in perspective. To start off I will say that I am a very successful child. I do well in school and on tests and I never quit anything and blah blah blah, you get the point. However, my parents just can not seem to stop bragging about me, and to an extent that is extrememly embarassing! And they don't just do it to people they know, but to people they have just met and while I am sitting right there! My mom starts rattling off my test scores and how great I am and what colleges I'm looking at (only good ones -mind you!) and all the rest when the person obviously has no interest. She goes on and on and on and on... my parents make it like I am the next Mother Theresa!
Please tell me if this is rude. I'm thinking of writing to miss manners or anne landers...</p>
<p>Well my parents aren't as bad as yours but I think many parents feel they have 'bragging rights'. I mean whenever I meet one of my parent's friends my parents introduce me as 'the one who's going to Stanford'. I personally get kind of embarressed but I've gotten used to it. (I was warned by my friend who got in EA and so it wasn't a complete surprised)</p>
<p>Of course it's rude, but it's also rude to ask your mother to stop talking. Your best bet, IMHO, would be to tell her that you hope she's not making other people feel bad, if their kids aren't as good as you are.</p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>As a parent of two successful kids (bragging here??), I personally think parents can easily go overboard on the bragging to the embarrassment of the kid but also to the potential embarrassment and great discomfort of the person they're talking to and yes, it can be rude depending on the circumstances.</p>
<p>If the parent has friends that they're close enough to to feel comfortable discussing their kid's accomplishments in an open way, then it's probably okay. But, in many cases, the parent doesn't know the personal situation of the person they're talking to. What if that parent's child dropped out, finished at the bottom of the class, is in jail, has drug/alcohol issues, is going to a CC because they can't make it into a higher level school, had other issues? In all of these cases, the bragging would put that person at a serious discomfort level and it'd be rude. It's kind of like clubbing them over the head while they're already down.</p>
<p>I think parents should tone down the bragging and speak of the kid's accomplishments only in the appropriate situations. They also should stop and listen to the other parent's stories about their kids as well and make sure the context is appropriate. There's nothing more obnoxious than a parent who brags endlessly about their kid but doesn't really want to hear anything about your kid.</p>
<p>I have one (real life) friend who is my "bragging buddy". Our kids are on a par with each other, so we feel comfortable relating scores, scholarships, college news, etc to each other. Other than her, I don't talk about this and give vague answers when asked.</p>
<p>Ya know, it won't last forever. :) it will just feel that way. Just try to be tolerant of their bragging and ask them to tone it down a bit. Later on in life, they will brag about their grandchildren, so you'll be off the hook.</p>
<p>Are you an only child by any chance? </p>
<p>I kind of empathize with your mom (it is mom doing this, right?) I would love to brag, brag, brag about what's great and kind of skip over the less-than-ideal traits of my sons. But I don't, because I like to keep my friends interested in what I might have to say and because as UCLA-etc.dad pointed out, it's rude and potentially hurtful to people who's kids might be struggling mightily just to keep heads above water. My advice to you would be to not worry about what bragging goes on when you're not there. If your mom is bragging to good friends,they will forgive her minor fault on this one matter. If they are strangers in the airport, so what? You and she will never see them again. For the listener, it's the risk of air travel and their own fault for not keeping their nose glued to a book. </p>
<p>If you are present, use humor. Say, "mom, stop. I'm blushing here. I'm not Mother Theresa" and try to joke her out of the stream. Or privately say to her before you embark somewhere together, "I know your proud of me, but it embarrasses me when my life is discussed at length with strangers." Sometimes I wish teenagers, including my own, would go beyond the eye rolling and cringing, and just come out and say what's on their mind. Personally, I'm determined to continue to embarrass my son until he speaks up and, in sounds that humans can hear, tells me to stop. BTW, the younger one is a phenomenal saxophone player. His private teacher tells me that he is practically a professional and he also got straight, well, except for PE, As on his report card and........PM me. I could go on and on.</p>
<p>I agree it's very satisfying to brag, but usually self-indulgent. Parental bragging should be reserved for grandparents and College Confidential :)</p>
<p>Who really needs to hear how great we think our kids are? Our kids in private? Absolutely. Grandparents? Absolutely. Your friends? If they sweated the application/tryout/less-than-stellar years with us. Others? Doubtful, unless it is useful information to them, such as illustrating what benefits/awards would be available to their own kids if they choose to go the same route ar yours.</p>
<p>Totally agree that OP should tactfully explain to mom how embarrassing her bragging is. She might be so proud she is unaware the effect that her brags are having on you and the listener.</p>
<p>And thank you for your reminder. I may be guilty of this sin myself from time to time and will take your reminder to heart.</p>
<p>omg my parents do the exact same</p>
<p>it IS really embarrassing. they tell strangers my SAT 1 AND SAT 2 scores...but I've noticed that if you are humble, people care a lot less than you think. that being said, it's still highly embarrassing</p>
<p>I've asked my mother to stop bragging or attempted to downplay what she was bragging about after she was finished speaking.</p>
<p>Like one of the previous posters, I have a couple "bragging friends" who I can share everything with---of course they hear the bad too. I guess the parents that really bug me are the ones that ONLY brag. You know the type, the ones whose kid's s*** doesn't stink. If sometimes these people also point out that little Johnny didn't turn in an important paper, maybe wrecked the car, missed curfew, or generally was a normal teenager with human faults, it doesn't bother me so much.</p>
<p>Okay, blabbing a kid's SAT scores is way over the top. That is just wrong. (I even think it's not really right when parents post their kids stats on here - unless of course they have permission.) They are your scores and maybe you should "remind" your parents of that (politely of course).</p>
<p>Not post scores here? Wow, weenie, you're strict.</p>
<p>I find it very uncomfortable to be around parents who brag about their kids constantly. Parents who incessantly prattle off their kids' awards and scores and grades and are oblivious to the fact that the other parent can't match every achievement are insensitive. In a social situation, I do my best to avoid spending time with that parent.</p>
<p>Same with kids. Just today, one of my daughter's friends boasted of her straight A report card on her blog. A friend who got lower grades was clearly hurt by this. I know kids avoid this person when SATs come out, because it's so awkward when she's boasting of her high scores while the other kids didn't do as well as she did. She seems oblivious to the other kids' feelings. She may test well, but when it comes to interpersonal relationships, she lacks some common sense and empathy.</p>
<p>I have reservations about telling grandmothers, because they seem to be even worse than parents about blabbing to the world. </p>
<p>In particular, grandmothers tell their other children and their other grandchildren, and it has the potential to create uncomfortable situations.</p>
<p>In the old days, kids and their parents didn't even get to find out their SAT scores. The scores were revealed to guidance counselors and admissions officers and that was that! </p>
<p>I even remember hearing about a school district that didn't tell kids or parents their grades from K-12 (unless they were unsatisfactory). It was kind of like Reed College. There were narrative evaluations made freely available, but grades were not.</p>
<p>Of course, all this was long before FERPA (= Federal Educational Rights and Privacy Act.) Parents now have the right to know until age 18, at which point students are the only ones with the right to know.</p>
<p>Maybe FERPA should be amended so that parents don't have the right to share what they know to 3rd parties without their kid's permission.</p>
<p>As far as sharing on this board, I think that's an entirely different matter, but only if the parent does so without revealing so much information that the identity of the student is clear to acquaintances who might be reading.</p>
<p>OH, by far the worst is when your parents brag to <em>you</em> about the achievements of their friends'/relatives' kids. I know this happens to a lot of my Asian friends as well (although by no means is it exclusively Asian). </p>
<p>On the other hand, 100th post!!</p>
<p>My parents are so paranoid about being viewed as braggarts that they go out of their way to avoid mentioning where I was in school. They put stickers in the car window for each of my sisters' colleges (Wesleyan, Barnard, Brown)...but not Harvard. My mom accepted gifts from me (a pen, a mug) that said, "Leverett House," but nothing that said Harvard.</p>
<p>^^They're like the complete opposite of people I know. There's this one family I know that go out of there way to LIE about their children's grades. How do I know? I ask the kids they tell the truth. The whole thing is pretty funny.</p>
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OH, by far the worst is when your parents brag to <em>you</em> about the achievements of their friends'/relatives' kids. I know this happens to a lot of my Asian friends as well (although by no means is it exclusively Asian).
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<p>Ha. When my (non-Asian) mom was in law school, there was an Asian guy she was both friends with and very competitive with (they were both near the top of the class) who had a daughter my age. She would brag about the friend's daughter's achievements to me, he would brag about my achievements to her. Both I and the other girl found it alternately amusing and annoying.</p>
<p>I think for parents to share SAT scores and grades is over the top. It really is the kids' business to decide if they want people to know or not. I also tried to refrain from discussing college admissions until the decision had been made, although that's pretty hard when everyone else is is sitting around the table at Starbuck's discussing the trials of the process. I think it's generally rude to brag when you know the other party is not in a position to return the comment with one of their own in just about any situation, whether about kids or anything else. The exceptions to this might be something that was earned but due to effort rather than talent, such as attaining Eagle Scout rank or a job that suits your kid. To say, "I 'm so proud that Johnny finally made his Eagle," will elicit a different response than, say, "I'm so proud that Mary got into Princeton!" It doesn't take a whole lot of sensitivity to see the difference.</p>