Do you care about intelligence in your relationships?

<p>Do you care how intelligent a person is? Would you prefer someone smarter than you or someone who is just around your level of intelligence? Any other nuances?</p>

<p>Yes I care. I can't go out with anyone ditzy (aka stupid). I prefer smarter than I am.</p>

<p>other nuances:... they have a rich dad and are an only child (inherit all the money) :D</p>

<p>As in boyfriend/girlfriend relationships? Or friend relationships?</p>

<p>I can't stand dating anyone who isn't <em>close</em> to me in terms of intelligence. A lot of guys, however, have said that I would be their dream girl if I weren't so smart. They are intimidated or something.</p>

<p>I don't so much mind how smart or stupid my friends are. As long as they aren't stupid enough to do drugs or whatever, I'm fine.</p>

<p>And...what about innate curiosity/openness to intellectual things on top of that intelligence?</p>

<p>^EXTREMELY IMPORTANT! It's something that I seek when dating people but alas! I have been unsuccessful.
[quote]
Do you care how intelligent a person is? Would you prefer someone smarter than you or someone who is just around your level of intelligence? Any other nuances?

[/quote]
Yes, I do. I prefer someone smarter than me but the discrepancy must not be so enormous that we can't find a level ground to talk about... stuff... for boyfriend/girlfriend relationships. I'd also prefer someone who had a diverse set of interests that do not always align with mine. We need to be able to share ideas!!!!!! and talk about new things. Friend relationships? Yeah... definitely around the same level of would be ideal.</p>

<p>And - here's another question: can you even accurately judge someone's level of intelligence? Are you really sure about it? Especially if that person's level of intelligence isn't really measurable by grades or SAT scores?</p>

<p>Try google-scholaring: Intelligence Social interactions </p>

<p>I found [url=<a href="http://www.blackwell-synergy.com/doi/abs/10.1111/1467-6494.7103008%5Dthis%5B/url"&gt;http://www.blackwell-synergy.com/doi/abs/10.1111/1467-6494.7103008]this[/url&lt;/a&gt;] but I am not on a school computer so I cannot access it. I found another abstract:
[quote]
The Sounds and Sights of Intelligence: A Lens Model Channel Analysis
D’Arcy J. Reynolds, Jr.</p>

<p>University of Victoria</p>

<p>Robert Gifford</p>

<p>University of Victoria, <a href="mailto:rgifford@uvic.ca">rgifford@uvic.ca</a></p>

<p>The links between 13 auditory and visual behavioral cues, measured intelligence, and observer judgments of intelligence in a zero-acquaintance context were examined in a lens model study. Auditory-plus-visual, auditory-only, and visual-only information conditions, in addition to a transcript-only control condition, were employed to determine whether auditory or visual cues encode measured intelligence more strongly and which are used more in judgments of intelligence. Five cues (of both types) accounted for nearly half the variance in measured intelligence, but it was much more strongly associated with auditory than visual cues. Observers’ judgments of intelligence were also much more strongly related to auditory than visual cues. Visual cues may even depress accuracy; accuracy was higher in an auditory-only condition than in an auditory-plus-visual condition.

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</p>

<p>That is my number one criterion. I basically see people only by their intelligence. (At least how intelligent they appear to me).</p>

<p>wow - awesomeness. i'm going to read the paper</p>

<p>anyways emmeline what do you think of my lvl of intelligence?
(and what about people who seem intellectual but who aren't that good in math?) Do you take that as an indicator of intelligence?</p>

<ul>
<li>and anyhow there's this ratio. Anyhow I'll just quote an e-mail I sent to someone dated 8/2/2006:</li>
</ul>

<p>
[quote]

There's also this thing I have been thinking about known as the "intelligence that seems to be expressed in everyday conversations" to "true innate intelligence" ratio. For me, that ratio is probably extremely high compared to everyone else, just because all of my words are guided by thoughts [or impulses too, since I am quite impulsive] rather than feelings. Furthermore, I am quite willing to show off my knowledge to other people. But on the other hand, there are many others who are very intelligent but who try to dumb themselves down in everyday conversations - who would have a low ratio. All impressions of me are based on everyday conversations, and you can't really distinguish a genius from a non-genius in everyday conversation.

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</p>

<p>Intelligence is critical for a relationship with me. Think about it, what can you talk about with someone who isn't as smart as you? </p>

<p>You: "Did you hear about Chavez's plan to reinstitute the "trading system" among the poor of Venezuela?"
Him: "Have you seen my shaving cream?"</p>

<p>Anyway, it is super critical. That's one of the very first things I look for. No intelligence = no me.</p>

<p>They could also be smarter than me but not completely geniuses so that I feel as an outcast when talking to them.</p>

<p>
[quote]
^EXTREMELY IMPORTANT! It's something that I seek when dating people but alas! I have been unsuccessful.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Then why not try the Caltech boys? :p</p>

<p>
[quote]
anyways emmeline what do you think of my lvl of intelligence?

[/quote]
IDK... I need to look at your test scores. :p
<a href="and%20what%20about%20people%20who%20seem%20intellectual%20but%20who%20aren't%20that%20good%20in%20math?">quote</a> Do you take that as an indicator of intelligence?

[/quote]
Not necessarily...</p>

<p>Here's just a click search for Hoard</a> Gardner from his being referenced in one article:
[quote]
And</a> what are the intelligences? Here's Gardner's starting lineup, the original seven:</p>

<pre><code>* Linguistic intelligence: You could be a poet!
* Logical-mathematical intelligence: Einstein had it.
* Musical intelligence: The name says it all.
* Spatial intelligence: Who wants to be an architect?
* Bodily kinesthetic intelligence: Think Michael Jordan.
* Interpersonal intelligence: You'll go far in sales!
* Intrapersonal intelligence: Know thy own internal processes.

[/quote]
...and then there are the polymaths.
[quote]
Then why not try CalTech boys? :p

[/quote]
...can't drive to Pasadena.
</code></pre>

<p>
[quote]
IDK... I need to look at your test scores.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Do people really read the test scores of someone when they try to gauge that person's intelligence?</p>

<p>
[quote]
Not necessarily...</p>

<p>Here's just a click search for Hoard Gardner from his being referenced in one article:

[/quote]
</p>

<p>On the other hand - it's just two of the intelligences that really correlate with the types of intelligence that we usually talk about (you can have high musical, spatial, or bodily intelligence and still not know a **** about anything intellectual)</p>

<p>I was just kidding. You're in Redmond or at the university? You have access to a variety of journal databases from school, no?</p>

<p>
[quote]
Do people really read the test scores of someone when they try to gauge that person's intelligence?

[/quote]
</p>

<p>It helps for a lot of people. But it really isn't too great of an indicator. I mean, if you meet someone who got a 36 on their ACT and then you meet someone who got a 23, it should tell you something.</p>

<p>if everybody preferred bfs/gfs that were smarter, then things wouldn't work so well, would they?</p>

<p>Not long ago, I invited a new friend over for a movie. Three times that night, she asked me what words meant that I used. I wasn't trying to impress her with my vocabulary. She didn't get the nuances of the movie we watched. I guess we could be friends, but I'd rather be with friends that don't need mentoring.</p>

<p>Yes, I find it annoying to be around people that are somewhat dense, but someone doesn't have to be an Einstein to be my friend.</p>

<p>With friends, it really depends on the person. A lot of my friends are from my classes or ec's, so we end up being really similar anyways (this was especially true when I was in IB, and I'm still friends with a lot of my IB classmates). That being said, I also have friends who aren't as intellectual, but are amazing people I love to hang out with. A few of my smarter friends are extremely competitive, so after awhile it's nice to be with someone who could care less what you do in class or with your life and just wants to hang out. </p>

<p>With serious, dating relationships, I think that it works best when you're with someone at or around your level. My bf and I are smart in different ways (he's more into computers and art/architechture, while I am fascinated by the humanities and social sciences), which ends up being great because we understand each other but we don't have to be competitive all the time. </p>

<p>The one thing that really bugs me is guys (or people, but I find it's mostly guys who say this) who say they would never date a girl smarter than them. Get over yourselves!</p>

<p>It's nice to have someone who's intelligent, but doesn't constantly talk about "intellectual" things or how smart he is. That can be intimidating.</p>