<p>
</p>
<p>However, a frayed seat belt can be a safety problem if you ever end up really needing it.</p>
<p>It does appear that a front seat belt and retractor for a 2001 Toyota Highlander costs $200-$250 for the part, not including installation.</p>
<p>Families who need to fill out FAFSA and CSS profiles are in a different situation with their children than those who do not. </p>
<p>We kept our income and savings private from our children for a long time because we felt that they could not understand the context of the information. (When $100 seems like a lot to a child, how can they comprehend the meaning of income and expenses?) But applying for financial aid requires openness whether you like it or not.</p>
<p>Any family who has to complete a financial aid application is essentially letting their child know their financial resources, whether they discuss them or not. The child can look them up if he or she wants to. Families who do not need to complete financial aid applications can continue to maintain privacy with their financial assets.</p>
<p>To fill out a FAFSA, my kids would need a lot more than my tax return. They need to know how much I paid into my 401k last year, if I had a health savings plan, if I have more than 1 bank account (I happen to have $60 that been in a credit union where I have a credit card). Looking at the questions of FAFSA could trigger something and I remember another asset. They’d need to know if there was a 529 plan for them or other kids.</p>
<p>My kids don’t know what a 401k is, or a 529 plan. They wouldn’t know the difference between a valid retirement plan like my pension or an IRA, and whether to include the balance or not. And I didn’t know at 17, and I really didn’t understand until I opened the accounts.</p>
<p>Different families work in different ways. In ours, we don’t worry much about privacy within the nuclear family, and that includes financial stuff. And we’re a full-pay family, so I don’t think that’s the dividing line. We want our kids to engage in long-term planning, and knowing their eventual financial prospects is part of that. Incidentally, my 22-year old just set up a Roth IRA.</p>
<p>We are just more comfortable knowing no one can accidentally divulge information we do not want out there. Kids accidentally do say things. My kids have had bank accounts and brokerage accounts from since they were born, and they have that info, as it is their stuff and learn to take decisions there. No need for them to have all of ours too. They also have their own tax returns, but not ours.</p>
<p>As one poster said, values are taught, and it also all depends on what you “value” how those values manifest themselves. </p>
<p>Both our main cars are 26 years-old. Awesome machines that still run and look great. But, I also had an awesome 200-mph sports car to go along with those cars. Sold that sports car and now getting another one, yet my 26 year-old rides are going nowhere. We love them. I</p>
<p>think the best example I give my kids is I take great care of everything I buy and enjoy the heck out of everything I purchase. With that one car alone though, totally impossible to hide that our finances are just fine; no specifics need to be told though.</p>
<p>“And we’re a full-pay family, so I don’t think that’s the dividing line. We want our kids to engage in long-term planning, and knowing their eventual financial prospects is part of that. Incidentally, my 22-year old just set up a Roth IRA.”<br>
Just using this as a jumping off point. My H has ambitions to, one day, set up funds for our eventual grandchildren’s college. (Who knows if it would be per each grandchild, or the same amount for each of our children regardless how many children they each have, but whatever, this is still conceptual.) but he wouldn’t be the type to tell them now. He’d rather wait and surprise them when those grandchildren are of age. His reasoning is that way they (my kids) would presumably then have a nice cushion of money that now they could enjoy. But he’s a “surpriser” in general. I’m not sure if I agree. Thoughts? </p>
<p>My thoughts. Your kids have to plan for their childrens education. Usually parents look at neighborhoods with excellent public schools or plan on private schools. If I know my parents are going to cover college costs for my kids, I will be willing to spend more money on their elementary, middle, and high school education. Also, I may feel more free to travel with the kids and provide them educational experiences in that way. Not having to save for college allows resources to be spent on the grandchildren in other ways. I don’t really think it is possible to provide too enriched a childhood. I am not going to argue it is any kind of necessity.</p>
<p>of course maybe your children will be in a position where these costs are really irrelevant - excellent schools and travel are a given and don’t interfere with college saving.</p>
<p>Interesting point. </p>
<p>^^ I agree with the surprise aspect. No need to tell them. Let your kids assume the responsibility of paying for their kids’ college, as they should and then when they (your kids) get the windfall it would be great. </p>
<p>However, be careful how you set it up because if fund is in the grandkid’s name, then your kids may not be able to use the money they saved, as a windfall, if they too set up a fund in their kids’ (your grand kids’) names since everything will go to the grandkids.</p>
<p>Alh’s point is a good one, assuming your kids would use the money in the way he says re on your grandkids. You do not know that though. However, I do agree that one cannot provide too enriched a childhood. </p>
<p>You can make it so you have some control. For example, our parents paid off our house, freeing up money all over the place.</p>
<p>Just found out from my mom that she (and my dad before he passed away) have set aside a nice nest-egg for each grandchild in the trust that is part of her will…not enough to cover full COA for four years at current rates, but enough to be a significant help to them. It’s nice to know that there will be something there to help if D decides to go to med school, but it would not have changed our financial planning. I think it does help my sister who is currently working in a job she’d love to quit but won’t because they’re paying my niece’s law school tuition. </p>
<p>If you “set up” funds for your grandkids, you may get some advantage on tax-free or lower tax rates over time, bt I think you also may disqualify them for the “financial aid” that they otherwise would have received. It may be better just to offer to pay the tuition or part of it when the time comes. There are no gift tax or estate implications for gifts to people to pay for healthcare or educational expenses as long as you pay the bill directly and don’t give the money to the beneficiary. </p>
<p>@Pizzagirl , there are many reasons, ranging from sad to wise, for someone not to have children. For us, we did not want financial considerations to influence anything, so our planning has been directed to equal shares for the children, regardless of their choices (or choices thrust upon them) regarding children of their own. </p>
<p>Just my $0.02. </p>
<p>My concern about the “surprise” would be that they may set up a 529 for the kids themselves and then end up with more money than can be used for education and face stiff penalties if it is used for something else. While it could be a surprise just how much was put aside, if they knew that you all were doing something- setting up a 529 for example- they could be directed to open a Roth IRA. </p>
<p>I was pretty open with my kids about our financial situation, primarily because it was really bleak for a very long time. When they were younger, I had $60 budgeted for groceries per pay period. There really wasn’t extra for much although their needs were always met. There were few luxuries. Things have slowly gotten better and in the past two years, thanks to my own hard work in returning to grad school, my income has doubled in the past 5 years with a 33% increase in the last 2 years. Those increases are only being realized now because my ex-husband was also out of work for 4 of the last 5 years and that had a significant financial impact on all of us. </p>
<p>I will not be as open in the future- especially with my D, who is a bottomless pit. I need to do some massive saving for retirement and I have some major home improvements that are long overdue. I sacrificed a lot to make sure her needs were met for a long time and to make sure she could attend the dream college. </p>
<p>Through the really rough times, my dad has surprised me numerous times. When there was a major car repair or home repair that had to be done that he knew would stress my finances, a check would appear in the mail. I would never ask and he would never offer. He’d just send a check. When he was in town for my D’s graduation party and we had one last shopping trip for paper goods and food, he pulled out his card at the store and covered it. I never expected these things, but I definitely appreciated them. I hope to do similar for my own kids. </p>
<p>It is tough for many of us to wrap our heads around the huge amount of money required to fund ourselves comfortably in retirement. It’s even tougher for a kid who isn’t paying his or her own bills to understand how quickly different needs suck up money. </p>
<p>S has a pretty good handle on money, as he’s been paying all his own bills now for 3 years. D is getting a better idea of this, as we are giving her quarterly sums that she is to use for rent and all her expenses. It works. </p>
<p>For executors, I named my brother as primary–he’s the best person I know with money and fond of our kids (and has more $$ than he knows what to do with). As back up executor, have named niece, who is a labor attorney and about 6-7 years older. The kids are the next level back up executor. </p>
<p>Reassuring both kids that we have more than enough for our needs is all they wanted to know at this point. </p>
<p>My thrifty kid got a job when he got a girl friend. Right now dh’s brother is still listed as executor of our estate, and we really need to change it as he was sooooo sloooow dealing with his parent’s estate. I remember being somewhat horrified when my parents announced to me that I was now named as guardian for my youngest brother if anything should happen to them. Thankfully never needed to take up that mantle!</p>
<p>To ucalumnus - Thanks for that info! I hadn’t realized the safety implications. My Eagle Scout son was probably just looking out for his aging mom, and noting a problem. He would definitely do that. It’s now on my to-do list!</p>
<p>@2016BarnardMom is on the money about the penalty issue. If it were me, I would just skip the 529 and let your kids do that. Instead, I would open custodial brokerage accounts in their names and load it up with all sorts of stocks, mutual funds, gold etc. Create a real portfolio for them. </p>
<p>The one thing there is you of have to manage the portfolio, but the return is many, many times better than throwing cash into a savings account. I would have 30% of that in cash that could be used for school or a house downpayment. 529s, while good, just are often too limited and the tax breaks on the amounts you can put in do not match the return of a well-structured portfolio, even when you pay taxes on the portfolio. </p>
<p>@2016BarnardMom The penalty for using 529 for something else is 10% of the earnings, if I am not mistaken. Someone else can check me on that. </p>
<p>@pizzagirl I know that my in laws have designated 5% of their estate to each grandchild (9 total) with the balance to be divided equally among their four adult kids. It’s nice to know that it is there, but we have no idea what the $ number might be. Their lawyer gave them this idea, to balance “fairness” between only children and a family with four kids. The grands might need to spend it all before then, and that’s ok too.</p>
<p>
My sister ran into a form of this problem. My mother would never say definitively if she would help with my nephew’s college tuition, so my sister set up a 529 and funded it with money she really could have used for other purposes. Then, when the kid actually went to college, my mother said she’d pay, but the 529 had to be used first–no other kids in the family.</p>
<p>On the other hand, don’t tell your kids or grandkids you’re going to do something unless you’re really, really sure you can and will do it. (What my mother should have done was fund the 529.)</p>