20 years ago we bought a 10x20 party tent when hosting a family event. Hurricane came through and the event moved inside. Over the years we have loaned the tent and other party supplies (tablecloths, banquet tables, hot/cold beverage servers, punch bowls, etc etc) to family, friends, friends of friends, local groups etc. All things they would have had to buy or rent.
Recently we had decided to clear out some things and have sold/donated most of the stuff. Yesterday I was dropping off the tent and realized that in those years, we never used the tent ourselves. I also realized that no one ever did anything more than say thank you. Whenever Iāve borrowed anything Iāve returned it with some cookies or flowers or some little thing.
Am I the strange person? Do you do anything when you borrow something?
Wow. I canāt believe no one ever returned your tent without a gift of appreciation of some sort!!
I would definitely be returning it with a gift card somewhere or flowers or smthg!!!
I never benefit from the kindness of friends and family without offering something in return as a thank you.
I just realized weāve never borrowed something from our friends or neighbors, except literally a cup of sugar from a neighbor once while baking. Iāve had that neighbor over for afternoon tea countless times but didnāt specifically do anything as recompense for the cup of sugar besides saying thank you.
We have lent tools and equipment out (huge wind storm a couple years ago cause a lot of tree damage for some of our neighbors). But we didnāt expect anything other than a thank you for lending out chainsaw, hack saw, etc.
Are you wishing your friends and others had reciprocated with something more tangible than thank you? Would flowers or cookies have felt like an appropriate exchange for the party supplies borrowed? Do you feel taken advantage of or glad you were able to help? Mix of both?
I would just say āit dependsā. Borrowing a tablecloth? Probably not but I would return it clean. Borrowing a tent for an event? More likely to do a little something more than a thank you. I guess what I would say is if you loaned the tent out numerous times I would think that at least a couple of those times someone might have done a physical item thanks. But I guess I wouldnāt expect it.
Iām not one who values stuff as much as words of genuine thanks. Maybe the people who didnāt say thank you with a gift are people who would never expect someone to gift something to them.
My cousin lets us use their lake house for a week every summer. I always leave something behind as a thank you for when they return after our week. One year it was a paddle board. Another time I left a Solo Stove fire pit. Every time I load their pantry up with beer, wine and liquor for the rest of the summer.
I actually canāt think of anything Iāve borrowed from a friend of family in recent years. If I were to borrow something, whether I acknowledged the loan with a token gift or not, would depend on what I had borrowed - a cup of sugar? A āthank youā will suffice; a party tent and all the supplies? Iād like to think Iād acknowledge the loan with a small token, but perhaps not. I donāt know! In a similar vein - many years ago, I once planned and executed a ten day international trip for my family and two other families. In advance, I purchased everything from hotel rooms to transportation to entrance fees; I planned everything to the last detail, including international and ground transportation. Once at our destination, I was the de facto tour guide. Of course, I was fully reimbursed for my financial outlay, however, all I ever received for the immense time and effort that went into planning and executing this āonce in a lifetimeā experience was āthank you for planning; we had a great timeā. In that circumstance, frankly, I did hope perhaps a cup on coffee would come my way at some point during the trip ā¦ nope! 
Yea, it depends. I would not expect a thank you (but might get one anyway). Especially would not expect gift if the party were a family or friend event where WE were on the invite list - that Iād just consider collaboration, similar to bringing a dish to pass.
I didnāt expect anything when it was family or an event we were participating in, like field day at school. I considered it like bringing a casserole.
It was more when people we might not even know. Like a sibling asked if it could be used by a friend or a coworker using it was a party I wasnāt attending.
I am another āit depends.ā Something big? Last minute? Very important to the success of whatever I am doing? Those folks are likely to get more than a āthank you.ā It also depends on the nature of the relationship with the borrower. Some friends, we are always doing each other favors. Others, a favor is exceptional.
While itās nice I wouldnāt expect or want anything other than thanks - Iām usually just glad things are getting used! Anyway I just assume this is the kind of thing neighbors, family, friends do for each other just because. You borrow my tent, I take your garbage in or out when you go on vacation. Or whatever. It all evens out in the end. Or maybe thatās just small town living.
Anyone who wants to loan me their lake house can be ASSURED I will leave a generous thank you in the form of something!!!
While we donāt borrow things much, we do have neighbors that do us favors - take our mail while we are away, shovel our driveway, etc. We always thank them with a token gift (bottle of wine, souvenir from our trip, etc.)
Something like using a tent, I think I would thank the lender with a token gift.
A thank you should be enough.
If more was expected, then it should have been an agreement with terms.
Everyone expresses gratitude differently. You shouldnāt have an expectation since you set none up front.
While it stinks you never used it, itās good it was enjoyed by others and that should make you feel good too.
We have recently let a couple of people borrow our old skanky van for moving stuff. (She aināt pretty, but she holds a ton of stuff). One friend just thanked us and another gave us some cookies. I thought the cookies were tasty, but totally unnecessary.
I really hesitate with food gifts these days. One of our kids is vegan and wouldnāt eat the cookies (I liked them, though) and so many people these days are gluten free. We have friends with potentially deadly allergies. Itās just hard to know what kind of food to give. We donāt drink wine so wouldnāt want a bottle of wine as a thank you. I donāt particularly want flowers. Iām worried that my cats will eat them. I donāt need any more tchotchkes in my life. I donāt even need a card. More for me to recycle.
Honestly a verbal expression of thanks is more than enough for me. If someone wants to give me some nice chocolate to go with it I wouldnāt turn that down, but itās not necessary. Iām just happy to help.
If I go on a trip and someone takes care of our animals (I have a friend I usually trade animal care with unless we are traveling together) I often try to get a fridge magnet or tea towel from wherever we went as a thank you and then reciprocate in kind with the animal care next time they travel. And my friend often gives me a tea towel or some chocolate. That is a nice gift. We do run through the tea towels here (they get stained and worn out), etc. We both like fun and funky stuff so itās fun to pick for each other.
I honestly canāt remember the last time I borrowed a physical item from someone. Iām probably just blanking on it, but we have so much stuff (too much) that I donāt need to borrow much of anything.
For something so substantial, I would have returned the tent with a small thank you gift. A loaf of good bread or something else good to eat or some flowers or an invitation to treat my friend to lunch. From previous answers, itās clear there are a variety of opinions and no absolute right or wrong, but just my 2 cents.
Laughing a bit at this because I was nodding along, thinking to myself, āTea towels are such a perfect gift!ā and then thought - WHEN DID I GET OLD??? 
Iām with you. I loan things to people all the time and I borrow things all the time. I donāt usually think the worse of someone if I donāt get a āgiftā in return, but it might depend on the kind of thing I loaned them.
I borrowed a friendās car for a couple of days. I returned it with a full tank and a bottle of wine.
I borrowed lawn chairs from a friend for my sonās grad party. Iāll probably give them some of the grad cake and a hearty thank you when I return the chairs.
I admit though to being annoyed when I hosted my nieceās husbandās sister and her daughter. I āloanedā them lodging. They stayed for three days, ate our food, etcā¦ Not so much as a thank you note. Tacky, and they arenāt welcome back.
You arenāt strange, but I donāt think this is a big issue, unless they didnāt even say thanks. But if there was a scenario where maybe you took it down and packed it up for someone, that seems to deserve a bit more of a thank you.
Itās already paid for and you werenāt using it. Itās good that others donāt have to spend money and contribute to the eventual landfill. If you donated it, hopefully it gets even more use.
We also had one of those tents. We also never used it ourselves. Frankly, we were happy to loan it to anyone who asked. We never expected anything other than a polite thank you. Thatās it.
We hosted a group of about 20 people, mostly young adults with a few older chaperones, for a few days. They were in our area to help the homeless. They had the run of the house and were responsible for their own food. We told them they owed us nothing.
We had to leave town the day before they departed. When we returned, we found $500 on the table. They had also cleaned everything thoroughly. They even cleaned the laundry room, which was a disaster. I was so impressed.