I was curious how parents feel about their own alma mater vs their child’s college/alma mater when
Child applied to the parent’s alma mater, was rejected and went to a different school. What kind of feelings do you have for your child’s school vs your own school now that your kid was rejected and went to a different school
Your Child decided not to apply to your alma mater and went to a different school?
Do you think the feelings would be different under the two circumstances?
I am assuming that if the child lands up at the parent’s alma mater, that would be a special feeling for both
“I think when you become a parent you move from being a star in the movie of your own life to being the supporting player in the movie of someone else’s” (Craig Ferguson).
My two college kids got into way better schools than either my wife or I did, so I am extremely happy to support them and their schools. My alma mater matters not one whit!
My alma mater would not have been a good fit for either of my children as freshman undergrads. However, my son did spend one summer there and that was a treat. He even lived in the same dorm that I did My d who just decided on her college choice couldn’t have picked a more different school than I went to.
I would strongly discourage either of our kids from applying to my alma mater. It’s a conservative religious school that I would have liked to have transferred out of but waited too late. My liberal, half-Jewish kids would not fit in well there.
That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t recommend it for other kids for whom it’s a fit.
I disagree. I think that you add a role as supporting player in the movie of your child’s life to your already-existing role as the star of the movie of your own life.
I can’t address the actual focus of this thread because one of my kids did attend my alma mater. For the other kid, that school would have been a terrible fit; I’m glad he chose not to apply.
Great question - First, my Son has not chosen a school and my Alma Mater is still in the running. Second, my alma mater (San Diego State) has gotten WAY harder to get into than when I got in. Third, my Son asked me if he can still root for the Aztecs if he goes somewhere else. Of course I said yes. Finally, he plans to march in college and be part of the pep bands so he will be involved in the athletics.
So, to answer the question, I will become a fan of whatever school he chooses and will root for them every week UNLESS they play my Aztecs.
My daughter applied to both my and my husband’s alma maters. She got into mine with a merit award, but turned it down. I was sad, but felt she was making a good choice. She was rejected from DH’s school, along with 95% of applicants. He’s still bitter about it, and stopped giving money. They’re not gonna miss it!
But in all seriousness, he was unhappy with the direction the school was taking before she even applied.
I have warm feelings about all the schools attended by the people I love.
Absolutely. My alma mater (CSUN) was a large state school with mostly commuter students back then. Didn’t really make friends there and didn’t feel connected. It was a means to an end (and the end of a long, 6-year road to get my BS). My husband is also a CSU graduate (Chico). D is a freshman at UC Berkeley. Between the reputation, education, school spirit and history, I would say both of us are much more emotionally invested in her school. I see her making friends and exploring the school and the area and am rather envious.
My older child applied to my alma mater (Reed) and was accepted. He attended UChicago. I have warm feelings about both colleges, but I give much more money to Reed b/c it needs it more! And after all, it is MY “mother.”
My younger child did not apply to a college that either I or my spouse applied to. She wanted to study art at an art school, and that she did, at Rhode Island School of Design (RISD). We have warm feelings about RISD and contribute both to the school’s annual fund and a special fund named after one of my daughter’s classmates, who unfortunately passed away.
We also give money to two major universities that we either attended (as undergrads or grad students) or that I was employed at.
I did not want my children to even apply to my alma mater. It is way too expensive. I have much warmer feelings for where my children attend or will attend than my alma mater. I felt like I never fit in where I went, and where my children go or will go are very good fits for them (and me! if I had had the choice). My alma mater was ultra competitive and not a good place for a sensitive soul, like I had. My children seem much more resilient than I, thank God!, so likely would have been fine there, however, culturally, it is not a good match for them. Where they attend, the students and administrations seem much warmer and willing to help than where I attended.
I have strong emotional ties to my alma mater. S18 has decided to apply there. It is a Top 20 USNWR school that has gotten much more competitive, in terms of admissions, in the last 20 years, so there is a very good chance S18 won’t get in. And since it’s gotten ridiculously expensive, it’s not likely we could pay for it even if he were to get in. I keep telling myself I’ll still feel the same way about my alma mater regardless of where S18 goes. That will probably be easier if he gets in and chooses to go elsewhere. It will probably be tough if he is rejected.
If didn’t like the large flagship nor the sorority. I got a good education, was the UG rep in my department, on student council, in school show…graduated in3 years.
I like my sons small college. I like the House system, and that he is still close to friends. I like that they had merit awards for upperclassmen which was a financial relief. I like that he had well paying summer internships. I like that when he was miserable in first job, he spoke to former profs, and they created a lab tech position. He left with good enough LORS to get into grad schools.
Son came down to his final decision between my alma mater (huge state public) and his eventual choice (smaller LAC). He chose what I think was best for him. Small classes, chance to play D3 sports, amazing campus. I think he will for sure get a better education that I did, or at least have much easier access to faculty. I love both of them - mine is a big D1 which I live and die with their sports teams, but his is just a really special place.
Yes, I have much warmer feelings for my children’s college than my own alma mater. My kids could have attended my alma mater for free. However, there was not way it would be on the list for either of them. S looked at H’s undergrad school and was not interested. D looked at one of H’s grad schools and was not interested. Both kids ended up at the same university for which we are very happy. We love their school - the education, experiences and value they received. We donate to them at least once a year, if not twice.
Interesting question and one that I’m experiencing in athletics. I went to Tufts and gently nudged my child towards applying there but they didn’t feel it was a great fit. Ended up attending Wesleyan and absolutely loves it there. The conflict for me comes when I watch them compete athletically against my alma mater and I invariably find myself rooting for Wes.
Very warm feelings for Ann Arbor. Not as warm for U of M.
Much warmer feelings for D’s college, but directed toward the amazing faculty and staff who were so nurturing, not directed to the institution even though I like it.
My S1’s school was my alma mater. It’s not a bad school, but he had better choices and I wanted him to branch out a little. But he was very happy and had the college experience I wish I had had there. He also got a job right out of school too, and is still there.
