<p>For 55k a year, my parents are expecting Dean’s List. Honestly, if you’re not pulling off Dean’s List after your parents just dropped 200k on you, you should be ashamed.</p>
<p>How does the concept of rewarding for Dean’s List not send the message that it’s better to take easier classes for a more-sure A, than to explore and perhaps take things you’re not so confident about? Honestly, this whole discussion floors me. Aside from “great job! congrats!” I don’t get “rewarding” the kid. It’s not about parental approval at this point, the way it might have been in, oh, say, 3rd grade.</p>
<p>I always just appreciated some homemade cookies sent a week or two before finals hit.</p>
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<p>We offer congratulations for achievements earned through hugs, smiles, simple words, and such. While we don’t offer material objects as praise, we do encourage our daughters to take a moment to breathe after extended periods of hard work and the encouragement may include a little extra spending (simple things, like a pizza and movie night with friends for younger daughter or theater tickets for elder daughter). For a child away from home, I might send things from time to time (concert tickets, day-at-the-spa certificate, etc.) to remind her to take a moment for a change of scene. I equate this sort of thing to office picnics – a good way to renew energy and refresh the mind.</p>
<p>Congratulations on your son’s work and accomplishments!</p>
<p>My parents would usually just call and congratulate me and tell me “way to go!”. They were really excited the first time, but once I started to get it most semesters they kind of became more relaxed about it. </p>
<p>When I made Phi Beta Kappa, I was inducted just prior to graduating, so my parents were able to attend, which was really nice. They also ordered me a gold PBK key pin/necklace (can be worn as either) to commemorate the occasion. I was touched that they chose to do that since, at least at my college, no key or pin is included with your Phi Beta Kappa induction so if you want one you have to buy it yourself and I didn’t really have the means to make that a priority.</p>
<p>“Great! Way to go!” That was the “reward.”</p>
<p>Of course, he also received random care packages throughout the year and would have, regardless of deans list or not.</p>