We are planning a family dinner a few days before Christmas to celebrate husband’s retirement. We have a small family but both kids(and 1 spouse) and my sister and his 2 siblings(and 1 of their spouses) are coming from all over for his retirement ceremony. 9 people altogether. We will have a family dinner at our home the night before.
I am leaning toward Guinness beef stew and as far as I know husband’s siblings are still eating meat/beef. Do I need to double check? I would love to not keep thinking about a recipe or menu!
What do you normally do when having people for dinner?
I just check for allergies and things people really can’t stand to eat. Beyond that…I set the menu myself. When I have guests I try to have enough variety that if someone doesn’t like one thing there will be another they do like.
While it would be SO nice to not have to rethink your menu, it can be a real awkward moment they you will wish you HAD checked if someone has special food needs. Needs are different than desires. If you haven’t seen them for a meal recently it wouldn’t hurt to reach out and just ask if they have any special food restrictions. You don’t have to tell them the menu, just ask so you’re covered!
Interesting you mention beef stew AND food sensitivities. Our new neighbor invited us over for a casual dinner last Sunday. I haven’t eaten with her and wanted to bring something but didn’t know what she was serving so I decided to make pumpkin muffins (a healthier version). Well, low and behold I learned that she is gluten free AND dairy free! And my muffins were neither! I didn’t feel bad because I didn’t know - and she was super sweet about it and asked if she could keep them to share with her niece who would be visiting.
AND what did she serve us that night? Beef stew! Have to admit, beef stew is something I generally don’t like but hers was really good!
Thanks for the responses. These are all family who we’ve had meals with before but now I think I’ll double check with the inlaws just in case new dietary restrictions have come up. I already told kids and sister I was doing something like stew , chili, tacos and nobody said that was a problem. Doubtful it is a problem for the 3 remaining in the group but I guess you never know! Just trying to avoid making more than one thing as it will be a busy time alteady.
We like fish but know to steer clear of fish when my sister is around! A friend recently became gluten free so I am careful with that.
A son had a vegetarian girlfriend for awhile and that did take more thought in terms of what to serve and have on hand when she visited. He married an adventurous eater with no allergies or restrictions and I do admit it makes it easier with visits.
Normally, no. Like @thumper1, I usually have enough variety that I’m not worried a guest will go hungry. Tonight we’re having friends over and I did ask if they like lamb as that is one food we love that many people don’t, so I always ask ahead on that one. I don’t worry about anyone’s dietary restrictions or allergies. That’s on them to navigate.
ETA: People usually ask if they can bring anything. I always say “No, unless you have any food restrictions and want to bring a favorite dish or side.”
For those of you that say you have variety on hand, do you make more than one main course? That is what I’m trying to avoid with 9 people. There will be stuff like appetizers, salad, bread, dessert, but not anxious to add in another entree.
We like lamb but would also ask about that. I LOVE anchovies but that is definitely one I would ask about. I’ve seen everyone involved eat beef on more than one occasion, so just wasn’t sure if I even had to say anything . And just let it be a surprise! Looking for comfort food that I can do in the crockpot on a very busy day. Any other ideas, let me know!
I am not fond of most beef dishes (although I like ground beef/hamburgers). I grew up in a home that had roast beef every Sunday. I was definitely not offered an alternate menu (not in the 60’s!!), but I never went hungry. There was always a salad, a vegetable, and a starch. I have had meals I didn’t care for many times over the years at relatives’ and friends’ homes. I guess my early years were great training, because I never expected to be served anything other than what they wanted to serve me. One of my favorite stories is the first time I had dinner with my future in laws. It was H’s birthday, so his mom made his favorite - leg of lamb. I ate it, because it was my first time eating with his parents. I later admitted that I intensely dislike lamb. We had it every Easter we spent with his parents, but at least I didn’t feel the need to eat it!
I don’t make more than one main course. I ask if there are allergies or things the people would prefer not to eat. Then I make my meal. If they don’t want the main course, they can fill up on side dishes.
I try to pick things that will be appealing to most people.
I do have two other couples we get together with, and for them, when it’s my turn, I let them know my choice for the meal. So far, no one has said no.
I agree things with stronger flavors might need to be avoided. Lamb is one of those things we love…but others are not so excited about.
To each their own, and many times guests can manage. But we’ve also found it easy to make simple adjustments, especially for vegetarians.
Serving Mexican? Just scramble some tofu and season it. They can use that as an alternative to beef in their tacos or fajitas.
Barbecue and burgers lunch in summer? Get a pack of veggie burgers from the grocery store.
Or, just make a beans or pasta salad if the entree can’t be adjusted.
Etc.
None of this is onerous, nor does it require adjusting the main menu.
And fish. I love it, but I would not serve it if I wasn’t sure others felt the same way. I cooked salmon once when babysitting GD for the weekend. She still talks about how stinky it was - and it’s been a year!
We know quite a few vegetarians (including some close relatives) so this is something to keep in mind in my family and among friends and work colleagues.
And among vegetarians, there are multiple types. Most of the ones I know eat eggs and cheese, but I am not sure whether they all do.
I don’t have food allergies but as I age, I do avoid certain foods, especially later in the day. I love tomatoes but try to eat them before 6 pm (no more late night pizza for me).
I love stew and if you served it, I’d hope I could a reasonable amount to prevent heart burn. It’s the price I’d pay --and enjoy every bite.
I think most people who have allergies or special requirements will let you know and/or bring their own food.
I would check for food allergies. My daughter has developed a bunch of food sensitivities in early adulthood. It’s a huge pain to work around, but I’d never want to make her sick. I would double check any allergies and do what you can.