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While I agree with much of what you write, I found #41 brazenly offensive. The idea that American kids are lazy, that they should be slaving away at schoolwork, to the exclusion of their social lives, interest in sports and the lives of other successful and talented young people (Miley Cyrus and Britney Spears ARE talented, despite what you might think about their personal lives) turns my stomach. Ugh. I'm glad my kids are not being raised in your optimal world.
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<p>I was deliberately attempting to be provocative to illustrate the simple point that not all (or even most) American kids are hard-working. Look, I happen to have gone to an above-average US high school, yet I distinctly remember that, at most, 25% of the kids there were actually truly serious about their studies. The rest were exactly as I described: far more worried about popularity, wearing cool clothes, where the next party was, who was dating the captain of the football team or head cheerleader, and so forth. Sad but true. </p>
<p>The worst part about US high school life are the social pressures: those students who actually want to study hard, especially topics like math and science, are deemed to be 'nerds' and are hence "punished" by the high school social caste system. They're the ones who get bullied, they're the ones who can't get dates, they're the ones who won't go to the prom because nobody will go with them. Sad but true. </p>
<p>Consider the painful writings of essayist and technology entrepreneur Paul Graham.</p>
<p>*When we were in junior high school, my friend Rich and I made a map of the school lunch tables according to popularity. This was easy to do, because kids only ate lunch with others of about the same popularity. We graded them from A to E. A tables were full of football players and cheerleaders and so on. E tables contained the kids with mild cases of Down's Syndrome, what in the language of the time we called "retards."</p>
<p>We sat at a D table, as low as you could get without looking physically different. We were not being especially candid to grade ourselves as D. It would have taken a deliberate lie to say otherwise. Everyone in the school knew exactly how popular everyone else was, including us.</p>
<p>My stock gradually rose during high school. Puberty finally arrived; I became a decent soccer player; I started a scandalous underground newspaper. So I've seen a good part of the popularity landscape.</p>
<p>I know a lot of people who were nerds in school, and they all tell the same story: there is a strong correlation between being smart and being a nerd, and an even stronger inverse correlation between being a nerd and being popular. Being smart seems to make you unpopular.</p>
<p>Why? To someone in school now, that may seem an odd question to ask. The mere fact is so overwhelming that it may seem strange to imagine that it could be any other way. But it could. Being smart doesn't make you an outcast in elementary school. Nor does it harm you in the real world. Nor, as far as I can tell, is the problem so bad in most other countries. But in a typical American secondary school, being smart is likely to make your life difficult. Why?</p>
<p>The key to this mystery is to rephrase the question slightly. Why don't smart kids make themselves popular? If they're so smart, why don't they figure out how popularity works and beat the system, just as they do for standardized tests?</p>
<p>One argument says that this would be impossible, that the smart kids are unpopular because the other kids envy them for being smart, and nothing they could do could make them popular. I wish. If the other kids in junior high school envied me, they did a great job of concealing it. And in any case, if being smart were really an enviable quality, the girls would have broken ranks. The guys that guys envy, girls like....</p>
<p>When I was in school, suicide was a constant topic among the smarter kids. No one I knew did it, but several planned to, and some may have tried. Mostly this was just a pose. Like other teenagers, we loved the dramatic, and suicide seemed very dramatic. But partly it was because our lives were at times genuinely miserable.</p>
<p>Bullying was only part of the problem. Another problem, and possibly an even worse one, was that we never had anything real to work on. Humans like to work; in most of the world, your work is your identity. And all the work we did was pointless, or seemed so at the time.</p>
<p>At best it was practice for real work we might do far in the future, so far that we didn't even know at the time what we were practicing for. More often it was just an arbitrary series of hoops to jump through, words without content designed mainly for testability. (The three main causes of the Civil War were.... Test: List the three main causes of the Civil War.)</p>
<p>And there was no way to opt out. The adults had agreed among themselves that this was to be the route to college. The only way to escape this empty life was to submit to it....</p>
<p>The real problem is the emptiness of school life. We won't see solutions till adults realize that. The adults who may realize it first are the ones who were themselves nerds in school. Do you want your kids to be as unhappy in eighth grade as you were? I wouldn't. Well, then, is there anything we can do to fix things? Almost certainly. There is nothing inevitable about the current system. It has come about mostly by default.</p>
<p>Adults, though, are busy. Showing up for school plays is one thing. Taking on the educational bureaucracy is another. Perhaps a few will have the energy to try to change things. I suspect the hardest part is realizing that you can.</p>
<p>Nerds still in school should not hold their breath. Maybe one day a heavily armed force of adults will show up in helicopters to rescue you, but they probably won't be coming this month. Any immediate improvement in nerds' lives is probably going to have to come from the nerds themselves.</p>
<p>Merely understanding the situation they're in should make it less painful. Nerds aren't losers. They're just playing a different game, and a game much closer to the one played in the real world. Adults know this. It's hard to find successful adults now who don't claim to have been nerds in high school.</p>
<p>It's important for nerds to realize, too, that school is not life. School is a strange, artificial thing, half sterile and half feral. It's all-encompassing, like life, but it isn't the real thing. It's only temporary, and if you look, you can see beyond it even while you're still in it.</p>
<p>If life seems awful to kids, it's neither because hormones are turning you all into monsters (as your parents believe), nor because life actually is awful (as you believe). It's because the adults, who no longer have any economic use for you, have abandoned you to spend years cooped up together with nothing real to do. Any society of that type is awful to live in. You don't have to look any further to explain why teenage kids are unhappy.*</p>
<p>Why</a> Nerds are Unpopular</p>
<p>But the other problem is not just that the current US high school system stigmatizes smart students, but that the system therefore actively deters students from wanting to be smart. High school kids aren't dumb. They can see what will happen to them socially if they actually try to study hard, as opposed to spending their time trying to be popular (i.e. by working out and playing sports if you're a guy, by being a cheerleader and worrying about fashion and make-up if you're a girl), and many of them will then simply opt for the latter. That's why so many US high school kids don't do well academically. It's because they don't want to do well, because the high school social system actively discourages them from doing well. </p>
<p>Contrast that with what happens in the school systems in other countries, especially in Asia, where doing well in school immediately makes you "cool". </p>
<p>As Thomas Friedman once said, "In China today, Bill Gates is Britney Spears. In American today, Britney Spears is Britney Spears—and that is our problem"</p>