I got accepted to Princeton, but honestly I’m stupefied (and guilty) because I wasn’t highly considering it. I’m not even sure why I really applied (Princeton hopefuls don’t kill me). But I have a hard time turning down an acceptance offer, and the cheapest offer for a college education. So I’m wondering about the social environment at Princeton so I can determine fit. I am black, so I’m a bit concerned about race and class interaction. Are the pretentious stereotypes true? Is the cutthroat nature also real? Also, I’m a pretty liberal person, and I’m pretty quirky. Honestly, just think of me as the kid of student that would go to Brown (and yes, I was accepted, so I’m trying to see if I would turn this down). I really need help, so please don’t tell me to just go to Brown and not consider Princeton. I really just need advice. Thanks fellow CCers.
I’m not black, but I am quirky and going to Princeton, and I was accepted SCEA and the activity within the pages for accepted students and stuff haven’t given off a pretentious vibe (I’m pretty middle-class). Also I’m pretty sure that while there are going to be some conservative people at almost all universities, and while I don’t know the statistics, I don’t think Princeton is extremely conservative or anything. I haven’t gone through a year there but from what I know Princeton isn’t significantly more pretentious than the other Ivys or anything. I would go to the Princeton preview if you can (contact Princeton and they’ll pay for your plane ticket and stuff) and see how the vibe is then, look at how the fields you want to study compare at the schools, and go from there.
Disclaimer: this is just my experience from the past few months, it would probably be better to hear from students who go there.
Congratulations on your acceptance, @bookaddiiict. Our child went through a similar “are certain stereotypes true?” exercise upon being admitted to Princeton and we actually feel a little bad or silly about that now. Old stereotypes die hard and there are always perhaps a few grains of truth (Meg Whitman’s extremely unpleasant son, ahem), but we have seen no evidence of elitism, preppy nonsense, or the other valid concerns you raise. To the contrary, our child (URM and rather “Berkeley” to the core, if that makes sense) is happy and thriving and everyone we have met there, from the Dean of Admissions to faculty on down to the students, has been warm, grounded, and quite “normal.”
There is some vast wealth at Princeton and its peer schools, to be sure, but it definitely seems balanced on the P campus. They boast a genuinely diverse student body these days from what we have personally seen and heard (perhaps by design – nothing wrong with that), and this includes a number of black friends of our child’s who seem happy and well adjusted. No signs of a competitive or cutthroat spirit that we know of, though if one is powering up to bicker one of the few selective eating clubs they have over the many other non-bicker club options, I imagine there will be some anxious moments for those kids trying to “make it.” I wouldn’t call it competition – perhaps more akin to a Greek System pledging experience for those who decide they want that? We weren’t sure about the eating club thing going in but it seems there really is a great fit for everyone. Some majors are more demanding, certainly, and I gather the engineering kids are having a slightly different experience than the history majors but that is likely true on most campuses. Our child’s immediate friendship circle (and eating club) includes a very nice, bright mix – people of color, LGBT, wealthy and partial-to-full financial aid recipients, internationals, and NJ locals. No regrets here. The place and the many opportunities on offer are pretty amazing. Hope this helps a bit but perhaps some current students will chime in for more firsthand illumination.
Best to you in making your decision!
@Valdog thanks so much! The Princeton you’re describing doesn’t sound like the Princeton I’ve heard about!
Also heard stories of the cutthroat nature and actual sabotage of work. You hear it from some you think is reputable and highly regarded and it put that nagging thought in your head that there must be something to it. Also heard, the alcohol use is regularly like binge drinking, falling down drunk weekends. I hope they are just rumors.
Should I be intimidated by Princeton students? Like if I go to an admitted students reception, should I be nervous?
If you are undecided, you should definitely visit as the schools are really different in many ways.
No - you should not be nervous or intimidated. If you were offered admission you have what it takes to succeed there. Princeton students are wonderfully talented people but they are normal people. Bragging is socially unacceptable behavior - as my son says, you never know WHO you are talking to and they very well might be much more talented than you! Most Pton students that I have met have a self-deprecating sense of humor. Yes there are some who are arrogant but you’ll find those kinds of people everywhere.
One of the things my son loves about Princeton is the collaborative environment - surprising given that grade deflation has created a potentially competitive environment over the years.
It sounds like you are struggling with some “imposter syndrome” - normal for many first year/newly admitted students. This too shall pass! And you are not alone.
Thanks @Cantiger! If I’ve misjudged Princeton so much, maybe I really should consider it.
Also @Cantiger I am feeling a little unworthy. There are people far smarter than me who were rejected, and I feel like people will automatically correlate my acceptance with my URM status and that I don’t belong or that I’m not good enough. I’m not that concerned with other’s opinions, but college is particularly sensitive because I don’t want my hard work debased.
There is a small minority of people who take the eating club system and preppiness way too seriously. They are not a good reason to not come to the best university in the world.
Maybe I was out of the loop, but I never felt like it was cutthroat, and I was there during the heyday of grade deflation.
That’s all part of imposter syndrome…the feeling you are somehow not worthy to be there (or perceived as not being worthy) and were that one “mistake” admissions made. I don’t know about URM students, but varsity athletes like my son sometimes feel like they might be regarded as only having been admitted because of their athletic talent. But the reality is that Princeton has thousands of applicants to choose from and if you were chosen, you certainly bring the potential to contribute academically to the school.
My son had impostor syndrome so badly that it took him most of first year to get over it…confidence was at an all time low. Academically first year was super hard and it took a while to get his legs under him. As a junior, he is now at the top of most of his engineering classes. Sometimes I tease him and remind him how he felt he didn’t deserve to be admitted when so many great applicants were turned away. Give yourself some time and a whole lot of credit…eventually the cream rises to the top and your work will be shown for what it is.
@hoagiehaven I’m incredibly surprised at all the things I’m hearing about Princeton. They’re defying everything I know about it. What scared me so much was my alumni interviewer, because he was class of 1981, and he was describing a Princeton that scared the crap out of me. @Cantiger thanks so much for your input. I’m glad I’m not the only one who found this both a blessing and a curse. If I end up attending Princeton, I hope I remember that I deserved to be admitted.
Part of the reason I volunteered to be an interviewer this year was this exact problem – older alums out of touch with what Princeton is actually like now. Princeton of the late 70s/early 80s is nothing like the Princeton of today. They barely were co-ed back then! Definitely try to make it out there for one of the admitted student days. I’m sure you got into a ton of great schools, so you can’t go wrong with whatever you decide. I hope you decide to become a tiger though. Good luck!
I think Princeton will be what you make of it. Honestly, I have met the nicest people here. There will be jerks anywhere you go but the student population here is just outstanding…people generally go out of their way to help you out 
I think there will always be those annoying kids at Preview who are pretentious but they learn quickly that they are amongst peers of equal standing. Also, I haven’t noticed a cutthroat atmosphere at all. People tend to work/study together here.
At the beginning of the year, we had a lot of orientations including one about diversity and a few black students mentioned feeling alienated due to their race? But I honestly think we are a very accepting community, I have never seen anyone act rudely to someone because of their race.
My kid was shocked he was accepted since he thought his interview was real bad. Harvard interview went well and he was waitlisted. We will never know although almost positive he’s attending MIT.
Definitely visit! I just returned from a 2 day visit with my URM son and we felt very at home.
Although I don’t really understand the obsession with how other students dress, it seemed that anything goes. The most “prep” that I saw was from the visiting hs juniors and their parents, not the student body. BTW, the only student attire that caught my eye happened to be an AA female fashionista!
Certainly there are many wealthy students, but I didn’t get any sort of vibe from that made me even think about it.
We ate lunch in one of the dining halls and students were very integrated and socially interactive. The AA students were scattered all over and notably not concentrated at a “black table.”
@bookaddiiict I completely identify with your situation. I was also accepted to Princeton and completely taken aback… I only applied to one University, and other than that, I was lucky to be accepted to some lovely, small liberal arts colleges. Princeton was an outlier, and after I applied I barely thought about it because I wasn’t seriously thinking I had a shot. It also is my cheapest offer, by quite a margin, and like you, I’m an URM (hispanic) who is a little concerned with how that will play out. So it was great to see your post and the great responses! This certainly wasn’t how I imagined my college process would go, but I’m now really having a hard time not considering such a generous and special offer… For what it’s worth, I’m visiting. I think that’s definitely the first step, as I didn’t visit before applying. You should, too! Good luck with your decisions, congrats, and know that you’re not the only one feeling this way!
As an alumna and the mother of two children who attended Princeton (one is still there), Princeton is definitely not the same school it was 30-40 years ago. The student body is diverse and overwhelmingly liberal. The administration is amazingly responsive and not afraid to examine itself and the school and make changes when necessary. Campus culture is vibrant and non-pretentious and the atmosphere is far from cutthroat - students are collaborative, helpful and genuinely kind - and if it’s a concern, the grade deflation policy has been eliminated.
I think of Princeton students as smart, fun, kind and sort of low-key. My oldest child used to say that when you scratched the surface of pretty much every student at the school, you would find a kid with a nerdy side, who was truly interested in academics. There are many “quirky” kids at Princeton (my youngest is one of them), and it’s just an extremely welcoming place. Are there students who are preppy and/or pretentious? Sure, but no more than at any other comparable school.
I hope you visit - I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised by the welcoming, happy and genuinely friendly students you encounter and the lack of snobbishness and pretentiousness.
Hello bookaddiiict, I’m a black student at Princeton who also applied here kind of just because, and was also trying decide whether or not to go to Brown, the school I thought would be the best fit for me. Honestly, the main reason I came to Princeton was because the financial aid package was leaps and bounds better than what Brown offered. For that reason, I didn’t come in feeling super ecstatic about the place, and instead had sentiments very similar to yours. There’s a lot I could say about this, but basically, I wouldn’t worry too much. While the stereotypes about Princeton do exist here, it’s not to the extant that people image. For me, it’s diverse enough that I have been to find a community here. In regard to the academic life, Princeton is undoubtedly a challenging place, but I wouldn’t say it’s cutthroat or very competitive; from my perspective, people kind of have a we’re-fighting-the-same-battle type of attitude.
I only answered your two main questions, but if you have more, please let me know!