<p>The feeling that something that you want so much will be intangible because of a price? I was filling out financial info with my mom last week and while she filled in sheets she would let out the occasional sigh..There were moments when our eyes would meet and I could see her frustration, exhaustion and well, sadness. She read through expected family contributions for families like mine and we both know its too much. I get a little sick to my stomach when we talk about it and she has said , "Sweetie I hope that you don't have your hopes set too high-they're are asking way too much of us" It's just sad...has anyone else felt nervousness about FA this early in the process?</p>
<p>End ofdepressing speech, sorry if I saddend your Saturday :(</p>
<p>@polodolly,
I read in your post on the Deerfield Academy thread that you have a larger family with a high income. According Exeter’s FA eligibility profiler large families are the ones who actually have to pay more than smaller families. I hope your FA situation is okay!</p>
<p>Thanks for the kind words! I realize that I sounded like my financial situation was horrendous haha, and by large family I mean less than six so hopefully we won’t be penalized for that. Thanks again :)</p>
<p>I get that feeling too, and it’s extra hard for me 'cause I’m a foreigner. If you have many siblings then that counts too. I’ve found that the best way to get rid of that feeling is to have a backup plan that you feel good about, even if it’s crazy. Like for me that is I’ll finish school here, move to Australia, live near the beach, study Ancient Greece and teach scuba-diving
It makes me feel tons better when I start thinking about how I’ll never get in anywhere.</p>
<p>hey! keep your hopes up!
i’m a prep at exeter this year, and i had the financial aid talk at least once every two days from my parents last year. when i applied, i didn’t really care too much about going to boarding school, but once february came, i realized that i really did want to go. by then, the financial situation was already set for me. i knew i had to get a certain amount to go, but i thought i had no chance at getting in with the amount of financial aid i needed. turns out i got it at the end. so definitely keep your hopes up! schools are more generous than you think!
good luck and i wish you the best in your application! :)</p>
<p>Pollodolly: I agree that the FA process is challenging. First, there can be that feeling that it is much more competitive for FA applicants, and then there’s the byzantine process you have to go through. Prep schools are very expensive, so asking for FA is not indicative of poverty. If a school wants you they will be generous, but sometimes they do expect you to pay more than feels feasible. I’ve seen it go both ways. If you are meant to do this, and apply to a variety of schools where you are a good fit, you’ll get something close to what you want. But no doubt the process can be very disheartening.</p>
<p>Hi I am getting a little nervous again so I will revive my own sad thread
So my dad said the SSS estimate expects us to pay full $$$. Yes he does have an income that is above a certain mark but my sister is going to college in a year and I know that we probably have other financial burdens. So parents (or others who are familiar with the FA aspects of this process) , did you find that your SSS estimate was accurate/ did schools expect you to pay that much? Thanks so much in advance!</p>
<p>TOTALLY know how you feel. my family had an ok income but then last year was our all time high and if we pay full tuition there goes our vacations, college fund, and its so much. my mom is so stressed because she feels like we wont get any FA because the numbers look nice when we actually CANT AFFORD IT. :/</p>
<p>Yes…my family can only pay a minuscule amount. My father has health problems, and my brother has disabilities, so it an be difficult to get by sometimes. My parents have nothing saved up anything for college, not a penny. They feel it’s better to spend the money on my violin lessons and camp(we almost couldn’t do it this year )and my brother’s special ed and all of his tests…which I agree with in the long run.<br>
So this is a such a big opportunity boarding school. But our financial thing is so difficult to describe…I hope that the FA people can understand that even though we are not in poverty we honestly can’t pay much.</p>
<p>Okay, end of sob story. Try to keep it optimistic. I can totally sympathize with you guys. We all will worry, but at least the outcome is not far away.</p>
<p>It is stressing me out too. My parents tell me not to worry about it, but it’s difficult since they seem very concerned. I have the opposite issue though–my mom’s SSS estimate ended up reallyyyyy low! This scares me in terms of being accepted, since I know we can pay more. Obviously they are going to look at me with a complete picture, and the system may be incorrect and not be including my dad’s income. (I know this post must seem arrogant to the people having an estimate that’s too high)…but while I would be so happy to get full FA, I keep being stressed out about its effect. In the end, FA scares me because of it’s seemingly strong influence–no matter how high or low the parent contribution is.</p>
<p>i know this might sound really snarky, but to those complaining about not being able to go on things like vacations, think about those families who are struggling to make ends meet, and who have never gone, or simply don’t go on vacation…</p>
<p>ultimately, it’s about priorities-- i remember a post here last year where a girl with a 300k+ family income said she needed FA because she had a sick dog needing surgery. to her, that’s probably a very valid reason, but giving FA to a girl who needs it because of her dog, or giving it to another student (human being)? which option do you think would be more appealing to adcoms?
and about vacations… spending thousands of dollars a year on vacations, or giving that amount in FA money to another prospective student?</p>
<p>Hang on a sec, DiveAlive - there really are a lot of students caught in the unfortunate middle ground between unlimited wealth and nothing at all. And the reality is that for kids with nothing at all, the decision (if they are accepted) is an easier one. </p>
<p>The vacation you are so dismissive of doesn’t just impact the student who’s applying to boarding school - it also impacts parents who may both be working full-time jobs and other, younger siblings - all of whom have a right to be disappointed that they won’t get that one week of family time they’ve come to count on every year. The parents can adapt, but do you want to explain to the 5 and 7-year olds why they can’t go anywhere this year?</p>
<p>And, about that dog . . . “I go to school and the dog dies” is a stinky choice for anyone to have to make. Yes, there are more important things in the world . . . but that’s still not a choice I’d want to have to make if I was 13 years old.</p>
<p>The reason that FA is offered to families living significantly above the poverty level is that, without it, they really wouldn’t be able to afford BS tuition. I’d like to think that if my income quadrupled tomorrow, we’d maintain our modest lifestyle . . . but the reality is that most families have expenses commensurate with their incomes, and it’s not always easy to get out from under those expenses. (Keep in mind that, geographically, income and cost-of-living tend to go hand-in-hand.) And a lot of families who might have been able to afford the tuition 10 years ago are not doing so well today.</p>
<p>Easy. “Because, sweetheart, education is more important than Disneyland. And when your time comes, we will also give up things so that you can have the same opportunity.”</p>
<p>I wouldn’t hesitate to tell that to a 5 year old. It’s a great opportunity to teach priorities and show what you really value. You don’t have to go anywhere to have family time.</p>
<p>Absolutely^^. There are plenty of families in BS world that are Full Pay and the parents are driving an old car, no one goes on vacation, many sacrifices are made so that kids can get a great education. So for me also to read someone saying well my pfs says we can pay all but then we wont have vacations, quality of living, contribute to the college fund, etc. really smacks of insensitivity to others in much more dire straits.</p>
<p>I agree with mhmm and neato…I think my kids are proud to be able to say that their family is making education a priority and is/are willing to forgo vacations, restaurants, new clothes, country club memberships, etc. to get the best education possible. I can’t think of a better reason to live simply (other than to be able to give to others - which a good education allows them to do more of).</p>
<p>Agreed, neato, mhmm, & wcmom - so long s it’s clear the parents are making the decision. I just don’t think that burden should be on the kid. So, it’s a question of the impetus to get a good education starting with the parent. As long as that’s there, the rest should follow.</p>
<p>Our EFC was less than what I said that we would contribute. We received four offers. Three were tuition and fees minus what we said we would contribute. One was a bit more. So if you say that you can pay 10K and your EFC says that you can pay 8K, they may go with what you say you can pay to determine the award.</p>
