Does Spending To Get Into College Trump All?

Parent Cafe
1

<p>I thought college counselors, like everyone, would be hurting now.</p>

<p>My niece got some great (and well priced so maybe this is the issue) help earlier this summer with her college essays. So I suggested the group to associates looking for help for their kids last week. I got calls today asking me to beg on their behalf--they were not taking new clients unless they could call back some employees who have returned to college! There's a waitlist!</p>

<p>Does college admission trump all in family spending priority?</p>

2

<p>I don’t think so.
I’m paying for all my apps, sending all scores, and any other fees in regards to college admissions.
In my house at least, it does not trump anything</p>

3

<p>I do not think it trumps everything … but for each of my kids they will only go through the school search and application process once … and we really don’t want to delay their college experience … so we’re pretty inelastic about our spendign for college; we’ve decided what we’re going to spend and we’re not changing the “rules” on them very late into the game (which we would do if we “had do”)</p>

4

<p>I guess my thought process was that we already had spent so much on private schools and summer programs, it seemed silly not to spend the few extra bucks to have it all pulled together by a professional. But for my sister and the friends who need help, it’s a stretch for these families, but something, at least for my sister, she decided to do while not eating out for the next year. How common is that?</p>

5

<p>In our town, absolutely noone uses a paid college counselor. And that kind of help with essays is not considered honest or constructive.</p>

6

<p>I didn’t even know there was such a thing as a paid college counselor. In my house college admission spending is the absolute least thing that anyone has been concerned with, I had to beg to get my parents to even pay my application fees to apply to three colleges.</p>

7

<p>Everybody’s experience is different, and I am sure paid counselors are life savers for some families. For us, it absolutely did not make sense at all, and even if the money is not an issue, I would have never hired one. S1’s choice was pretty straightforward: apply to a subset of schools on the top 10 list, and see what happens. Though the whole college application process is completely new to us, I spent years doing marketing work, and the basic tenet of how to position a product with a differentiated value proposition is applicable to the college application process also (in this case, the applicant is a “product”). Both my husband and I are excellent writers. As such, we worked with S1 throughout the whole process. It helped that we have a very good, open communication with him, and he had absolutely no inhibition asking our advice and help. I just can’t see how a total stranger without an intimate understanding of this kid would have done any better job.</p>

<p>In the end, the whole application process turned out be an opportunity for real bonding with him, and we actually enjoyed it</p>

<p>S2 is a rising HS junior. He is an ROTC die hard. Unlike with S1, we are much better prepared from the get go. By now, I feel that I already know practically everything there is to know regarding how to “game” the system to ensure that he is best positioned to receive ROTC scholarship, and then how to turn that into a major advantage/selling point in the college admission game. I also have a clear idea how to help him “sell” himself better as a candidate/applicant. We also have a pretty good idea which ROTC unit and a school that is served by that unit is a best combination for him to shoot for given his future career options. Again, the fact that we have a wonderful, open communication with him helps in that he knows that his parents are a major asset, and he has nothing but to gain by working closely with us. Besides, where am I going to find a paid counselor who has extensive experience with ROTC process?</p>

<p>I think a paid counselor will be a good idea if a student is looking for a good match school that is not well known among the general public, or if the communication between the parents and the kid is rather strained - in the case of latter, it removes a lot of stress and conflict. I have a very good colleague who told me that if there had been no outside counselor, they would have all killed each other going through the whole thing.</p>

<p>The other parents on this board are so wonderful in selflessly sharing their experience and wisdom, I just can’t imagine how a paid counselor will top this collective knowledge. Well, it does take time to stay on top though, but if you start “prowling” on this board for a year or so in advance, you are as good as any counselor in my opinion.</p>

8

<p>hyeonjlee - I agree with you that the wealth knowledge and the willingness of others to share has made the CC forum a priceless learning experience.</p>

<p>hmom5 - I just picked up a really great book called “The New Rules of College Admissions” by Stephen Kramer and Michael London. It is full of great tips for first time college parents and I especially learned a lot about how to craft a strong college essay.</p>

9

<p>I’ve had this debate here before. The way I look at it is that I can get a tax book but I’ll never be anywhere near as good as an accountant. I believe in professionals for everything. This is no more cheating/dishonest that using a tax accountant IMO. Just surprised this isn’t an area where folks have cut back.</p>

<p>Let’s all keep in mind that the people who started this site are none other than professional college counselors!</p>

<p>That there’s such a demand in this economy surprises me in the same way the thread on state colleges worrying about summer melt does.</p>

<p>None of this makes sense…</p>

10

<p>Many around here are keeping the college consultants despite other cost cutting. The main reason cited - the parents don’t want to have to nag the kids to do their apps.</p>

11

<p>I don’t know anyone who paid for a college counselor. I did pay for a relatively inexpensive SAT review/prep course, however. My kids go to suburban public schools and are not in summer programs. (D went to the Governor’s school, but it was free.) I don’t believe in professionals for everything - I do my own taxes, cook my own food, clean my own house, cut my own grass. I would never pay someone to help my child write a college essay; if my darlings can’t get in on their own writing, then they don’t belong in that school IMO.</p>

<p>I guess those who are interested in using counselors are not the ones who are feeling the economic pinch?</p>

12

<p>Taxes can be done by a reasonably well informed person WITHOUT complicated financial situation. We used to all our taxes on our own, until I had a foreign assignment with several bouts of extended stay, a company provided car and an apartment in each location - some benefit and income paid in local currencies, etc. In this case, a very complex set of rules without clearcut explanation for application was involved. For those several years, I used an accountant.</p>

<p>Same for the college application. If you have a straightforward case (like top 10 universities for students with outstanding stats and clear preference for this type of schools to more quirky and less known schools), I don’t believe you will need an expensive college counselors since there is so much information about these schools floating around.</p>

<p>On the other hand, if a student with unique qualifications and/or shortcomings and personal aspirations that are different from the run of the mill applicant is looking for a special match with a school that is perfectly aligned with the individual needs, private counselor may help.</p>

<p>As I mentioned earlier, if the parent-child communication runs the risk of getting conflicted, this is another good reason to use a “buffer” - a college counselor.</p>

<p>Just my opinion. Whatever everyone is doing to meet his/her unique needs is valid, especially if money is not an insurmountable barrier.</p>

13

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<p>In my experience, these are the kids who need a counselor most. Schools taking under 12% of applicants with 50% who are qualified. That’s where the counselors helped us cut through the crowd.</p>

14

<p>I would hope the outstanding student with a preference for top 10 schools also has a safety he/she can be happy with. Cause you never know.</p>

15

<p>We did not hire a professional counselor or even consult our own public school counselor. One of our kids got into Harvard and the other got into Yale.</p>

16

<p>I don’t think the tax analogy is really appropriate for colleges. I think it’s more akin to using an interior decorator or a personal shopper. If you don’t have the time or the confidence to do it yourself and it’s important that you wow your friends and neighbors it’s a great option.</p>

<p>After all, if you screw up your taxes, you go to jail. With college it’s all a matter of taste. As with fashion, there are probably plenty of options where you could be happy; what you think will make you happy may not actually pan out, and of course with college if you don’t like where you are you can always transfer.</p>

<p>I just came back from my 40th high school reunion. Where you went to school was a pretty poor predictor of how happy or successful you were. Certainly some of the ones who went to “second rate” schools are pretty pedestrian today. However, some of the ones who went to Ivy’s have also done not much with their careers (to say nothing of their personal lives) as well. Others who went to Noname U have gone on to incredibly distinguished careers. It is very clear to me that it isn’t where you go, it’s what you do.</p>

17

<p>Many of the kids we know that went to the most “elite” schools didn’t have any help from ANY counselor. We didn’t pay anyone to help our kids either. One kid got a great merit award & the other was told she had very little chance at the one school she applied to as a transfer where she’s now happily attending.</p>

<p>I personally only know one person who I believe may have paid for a private counselor (& I don’t think he did much that she didn’t do on her own with her great record).</p>

18

<p>Well, it seems to trump eating out for at least one family :)</p>

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<p>This sounds like a good analogy. We hired an interior decorator a few years back because we desperately needed to replace furniture, but had no eye for what would look good, or what we’d be happy with years down the road. Plus, we both despise shopping. The woman we hired was beyond wonderful. She took a look at some pictures of interiors I liked, asked us about our lifestyle, and then started presenting us with a limited set of wonderful options. It was like magic! She’d show up with a few carpet samples, and they’d be exactly what we wanted, even though we didn’t know that it was what we were going to be looking for. Or she’d send us to a furniture store to look at a certain armchair. There’d be absolutely nothing else in the store that interested us in the slightest, but the chairs were perfect. We ended up with a perfect fit of an interior, something that doesn’t wow friends or neighbors (though everyone is in love with those armchairs!) but works wonderfully for the house. Our decorator’s fee was a fraction of what we spent on the remodel/redecoration, and was worth every penny and then some. </p>

<p>If I went on an interior decorating forum where people really enjoyed learning about how to do interior decorating themselves and starting touting the virtues of hiring a professional, there’d be a lot of people who’d think it was a ridiculous waste of money, and that we could have just done it ourselves by educating ourselves. After all, the interior design forumites would say, this is stuff you can learn yourself! No need for a pricey professional! In which case we’d still have the same hideous ancient dark maroon carpet stretching throughout the house :)</p>

<p>If anyone I know is using/has used a paid college consultant, they’ve never openly mentioned it. Maybe it’s the kind of thing you’d only mention if you knew the other person was also going to use a professional. hmom5, by mentioning it to others, you may hear a lot more about this because it might be something that people don’t feel comfortable discussing in public.</p>

19

<p>It’s pretty silly here. The kids don’t talk about it and many parents will not share the names of their counselors and especially their SAT prep people. I live in a microcosm of CC, all the kids are very bright and want to go to the same dozen schools. So glad those days are over for us. I’ve always shared and got enough calls these last few weeks to believe these are the only folks I know not effected by the economy. When I asked one friend who is out of work why she was going with the big package, she calmly explained, as though I must be crazy for not knowing, that it’s more important than ever in these times to score the top college. OK…</p>