OP, what you or your dd says is up to you, but the bottom line is that, no, giving up her seat in no way guarantees that someone else from her HS – or anyone anywhere – will get that spot.
Lots of people make lots of money managing enrollment. Colleges know what their yield rate is, and that’s the reason they accept way more kids than they could possible accommodate; if the yield rate usually is 25%, then they take four times more than they can realistically accommodate because they know that three-quarter of the kids they accept are likely to say no (check my math there!). That’s why you see a lot of schools not even go to their WL, or barely go to the WL. They know that some percentage of kids are going to say no, and that’s built in to the number they accept. Just check out the school’s Common Data Set, Sections C1 and C2. You’ll see the number of kids accepted, and then you’ll see the number who decided to attend. Does the WL number reflect the number of kids who decided not to attend? No, because they’ve built in to the acceptance rate the fact that they know (and are counting on!) a percentage of kids saying no. The WL number reflects that they were a little off on their guess (or have to compensate for summer melt).
Bottom line: The HS kids are simply wrong about the way this works, but how your dd deals with them is up to her. I do like the idea of blaming it on you. Parents are such great scapegoats.
And if her classmates are on the cusp, they will likely get a waitlist spot. And if they are truly what the college wants, they will get an offer if the college goes to the waitlist. I personally, though, wouldn’t tell my kid to use me as a scapegoat. It is for HER college decision that she is keeping the options open. It is none of those other kids’ business what she is doing, and I’d tell her to tell them so. I wouldn’t tell her to lie.
Withdrawing your application will only hurt your daughter and probably will not affect the decisions of her peers. If her classmates are qualified enough, they will be accepted regardless of whether or not your daughter applies.
I agree with you. Don’t let her withdraw so you can have some options in the spring. If her classmates get rejected, it will not be because of her.
D16 was accepted to a BS/DPT program EA in December. They specifically asked in their acceptance letter for D16 to let them know ASAP if she would be accepting the offer so that that could offer the spot to someone else if she was declining. They had let her know the merit aid they would be offering so she at least has some ballpark of thee final FA package. D16 is just waiting to hear from her final EA decision that is due mid February and then she will withdrawal wherever she is not accepting.
D16 did formally withdrawal an application back in November (Sent an email and certified letter to her assigned admission rep). Just last week they sent an email telling her that she needed to submit her midterm grades. So clearly, that school was not tracking things very diligently.
A certified letter? That seems like overkill… usually an email is sufficient. There are a few types of programs (nursing is notorious) that want kids to commit before May 1. I think they are completely unethical to do so.
These other students were deferred, not wait-listed. There would be some credence to their claims if they had been wait-listed because the more students who decline their spots, the more spots that could potentially open up for wait-listed students.
But she has no obligation to explain this to them. Nor does she have an obligation to decline before she is ready. I agree with an earlier poster: She should just tell them that she declined. That will shut down the conversation.
Pizzagirl just to clarify, the daughter was accepted and the others were deferred to regular decision. Noone is on the waiting list. If they were deferred, then they are at least in the ballpark for admittance (depending on the school).
All kinds of pressure happens between kids in senior year, and it is really sad sometimes.
But it is true that the daughter has a spot which she seems not to want, so letting the school know as soon as practical and possible does free up a spot, though someone above is right that the admissions folks do take into account expected yield.
I don’t think she should do anything in response to pressure from peers, but it is something to think about apart from that.