If all else were equal, I’d agree that the convenience of a college within driving distance or a direct flight away would be nice. However, all else generally aren’t equal. We all have to prioritize. Should that convenience trump academics, for example?
The extra cost of travel is an issue for many families, but shouldn’t that extra cost be included in the overall cost of attendance when comparing colleges, rather than separately?
Unfortunately for a lot of kids, living at home and commuting is the only way they can sort of afford college, even if they’d prefer living on campus. Some still have to work and/or watch siblings too in order to help the family finances.
Those of us on this board who can choose colleges for our kids are among the fortunate ones.
Then there truly are kids who prefer to live at home while going to college. It’s ok. They still go on and do well with their lives.
Ideally, yes - but I don’t think many people factor it in until they’ve chosen the college - or they think about it but don’t consider the whole planes-trains-automobiles of it all. I’m always shocked at the number of parents on my daughter’s college page who, after accepting the offer to attend, ask how they are supposed to get their kid there from the other side of the country. Some don’t even realize the only airport options and 1-hour and 3-hours away from campus, and that the college doesn’t provide transportation to and from. Plus, the college is subject to winter weather (as are the airports), which throws a wrench into travel right around the busiest holiday travel.
This thread has been extremely helpful. We live in a location where it’s a total pain to get anywhere. But along with that there is a limited selection of schools that might sort of kinda be a good fit for our DD. She is not necessarily more mature or independent than your average HS senior. I do get how some kids are naturally ready to fly and are eager to be super independent. She’s not really one of those even though she likes to think she is . . .
That’s the tough part. Knowing themselves very well makes the decision easier. While DS would go anywhere, DD doesn’t even want to take her car to school 45 minutes away because she is nervous to drive on the highway. She would never go out of state.
Ever since DS was little, we had him lead the way in airports, pick out transportation routes and let him weigh in on how he would handle any of the travel delays and disasters we’ve faced. This was child-led as we knew there would be no stopping him once he got older and we wanted him to be prepared. We did not have DD do the same. They are different kids. He was ready to take on the world and she was much more cautious. It was only recently that DD and I got stuck in an airport together and I made her figure out what we should do, just to prove to her she could do it and so that she wouldn’t experience anything like that for the first time while traveling alone (although she isn’t the type to want to travel alone). Perhaps on your visits you can have her take the lead a bit to see how she feels about having to make those types of decisions and to be there as back up before she possibly has to do it on her own.
I grew up on the West Coast and went my first year to Bard; I had to fly from the PNW to Chicago, layover in Chicago, then fly to New York, then get from JFK into the city and Penn Station, then take the train up to Poughkeepsie or Rhinecliff, then find a taxi to take me from the station to school. Door to door was around 18-20 hours. It was exciting exactly once, and then it was just an awful, arduous drag.
When my S23 and I made a list we stuck with driving distance (but not within an hour) or direct flights that were under 5 hours and in places not likely to be cancelled by weather.
Is the real issue getting to a major airport from your home? U Montana is very close to an airport and as others have said, flights vary in length from Logan, but nowhere near 17 hours.
When my kids were applying, my attitude was no flying unless there was a major that couldn’t be found elsewhere. Seems like U Montana has a very hands on Wildlife Bio program! No reason not to keep it on the list and look into access options more fully.
This is great insight - thanks! I would say my DD is smack dab in the middle of your two kiddos. I totally get and agree that kids are just different!
I have been pushing her a lot more lately and will continue to be mindful of doing so.
Part of the far from home experience is the growth and maturity that happens during those first few years. I had been on an airplane exactly once before choosing a university on the opposite coast. This was well before cellphones and other ways to stay connected. While not always easy, it was a phenomenal growth experience. I truly think this is the time to let the kid take the lead. If they have no interest in traveling far from home, so be it. But if they are and want to figure it out and understand the sacrifices regarding shorter breaks etc - let them fly.
True, but I think it depends on the kid and the family’s money. In an ideal world it would be great to let the kid go far away, but sometimes that’s not always possible, due to finances. My H lived at home for college and he paid the tuition himself and basically paid for all his other expenses himself. His parents just let him live at home. That helped him mature a lot. Kids can stay tethered to mom and dad no matter how far away they are. That said, getting to experience a new place can be transformative.
And getting to experience a new place can be done after college, when it can be more permanent instead of when you have to move in and out of a dorm/leave for breaks. Whatever works for the kid and family 
Our S20 didn’t want to be too far from home. This worked out well for us because of COVID, and we had to get him three additional times in the first year. Being only a five-hour drive away, he has been able to get home for several important family events without missing a class. We would have supported him if he had picked a school further away, but having him close has been better all around.
Very true! I know kids who went far away to college and then ended up living right around the corner from mom and dad after college. I know kids who lived at home during college or went to college very close to home, and then always lived across the country from their parents after college. College is only 4 years and it doesn’t have to define the rest of your life.
When we were looking at colleges, we factored in the costs of getting to and from campus best we could. There were some hard to get to colleges that our kids crossed off their lists, but that was mostly because they felt the town was too small and there wasn’t enough to do…
A variant of the problem is a student who cannot afford to live near a college, but has a long and difficult commute to the nearest colleges.