Do any of you parents put a location restriction on where your D or S can attend college? Basically everything equal can your child go to college a long ways from home?
We did not put a location restriction but my daughter had her own. She didn’t want to go too far south or too far west. That said, some of the schools on her list would have been an 12-14 hour drive or a flight. Thankfully she ended up not picking those schools but we would not have said no to them either.
Here’s some things I would consider though:
- if you are needing merit, sometimes some of the best offers can come outside your geographic area
- Some schools are so close to big airports that it makes flying fairly convenient. Totally depends on the school/location.
- If you are concerned that your child has emotional or physical challenges that may make living far away difficult, voice them now.
- Discuss with your child that if they are far from home, they may not be able to come home for the shorter breaks. This ended up being an issue for a number of my daughter's friends that they didn't previously consider.
- Be clear about how going to school far from home may impact the budget since travel costs will be greater.
Overall, I don’t think there is one right answer. Every family and every student is different.
You’ll get a lot of different answers to this.
I wanted mine within a (theoretical) day’s drive which is most all of the US east of the Rockies. There were SO MANY schools my kids liked - too many in fact - in that radius that there was no reason to look further. An easy way to pare things down.
YMMV if you live in Washington State or something though.
Rather than setting restrictions, it may be best to talk things out, with respect for your child’s thoughts and opinions, as well as your own. Weigh all considerations together, as a family.
I think @momofsenior1 had a good list of considerations for the conversation. How your child will feel about your being able to attend parents’ days or not, and his/her being able to come home for short breaks or not, are key considerations, and budgetary and time constraints may have an impact on the feasibility of these trips if the school is far from home.
My daughter is almost certainly going to the opposite coast, because that’s where the best schools/locations for her intended major are. We have family and friends there, will happily take any incentive to visit (we are fortunate that travel costs are not a limitation), and she and we are so excited about the experience she’ll have living in any of the cities she’s applied to there, so that’s all ok 
We even considered whether she should apply to any UK universities, but decided that was a step too far from the west coast… so I guess the east coast was our geographic limit.
We are in Washington State and have a child at Notre Dame. There just aren’t any schools like that within driving distance, maybe Santa Clara would be the closest similar, Gonzaga if you don’t mind all the differences.
I was from upstate NY and didn’t even consider anything more than about 3 hours drive. Only the kids striving to get away left the area and, generally, did not come back.
We have a slightly different situation. We didn’t give him any restrictions, but let him know early on that WE don’t know where we will be living. DH is retiring this summer and we are chomping at the bit to leave & start anew. We had a very frank conversation w/ S19 to clarify his expectations. He would like to be no more than 8 hrs away. We told him we’d do our very best to make that happen, but no promises. He chose his schools based on desire to attend, not where we would be located.
Edited to add— there’s a slight possibility we could all be in the same town. We asked how he felt about that & he said “Great! As long as there are ground rules like no coming on campus on weekends unless invited!!”
LOL
We didn’t put any restrictions, but I will say it’s a pain getting our D from Portland, Maine to Selinsgrove, Pennsylvania! We’re going to get her a car this Christmas so we don’t have to make the 1000-mile round trip twice a year.
We did not put geographic restrictions. My D herself decided no farther South than NC because too hot. In the end she had options from West Coast, to MN to MA and some in between. But then she chose a place just 2.5 hours drive – partly b/c of weather but mostly b/c it was the best fit/option. We are glad she’s not 3000 miles a way but it would also have been nice to visit!
S17 wanted to be close to home, so no worries. D21 is more adventurous. We’re not really putting a limit of the area, but we’ve talked money and told her, depending on the cost of where she’s going and the distance (she wanted to go to Ireland or England initially!), she might just be coming home for Christmas and summer.
I currently have one very far away and one within a day’s drive. Both locations do have direct flights, and the ease of flying was something we considered.
It is more difficult to be far away. If they get seriously sick, you can’t easily get there. They may not be home for the shorter holiday breaks like Thanksgiving. The parents can’t attend a lot of the family events. You really can’t tell how they are doing through phone calls and texts. We made sure we were able to visit at least once a semester freshman year to see for ourselves how they were adjusting.
We did. We asked our kids to apply to colleges within a 3 hour drive from our home OR within an hour of a close friend or relative. Really…we have a large family and they are spread out all over the place. Plus lots of good friends. This didn’t really “restrict” our kids much at all.
Both were fine with that restriction.
And it turned out to be useful when one kid had to have emergency surgery 3000 miles from home first thing in the morning and there would have been no way for the parents to get there at all. BUT the relative and close friend were there almost immediately! When your kid is having surgery, you want someone in person advocating for them. And listening to the doctors.
We did not put any restrictions on our kids. D17 was looking at schools up and down the East Coast and a couple in southern CA. However, all were close to major airports. She ended up in southern CA, over 3000 miles away and usually gets a reasonably priced direct flight. But, we live close to a major airport and her campus is 10 mins from the airport, so door to door including her flight, it is about 8.5 hours for her to get to/from school. Even better for me b/c it only involves a 30 min ride to/from the airport. Much better for me than her friends who go to SEC schools way down south and whose parents make that very long drive down…and then back at the beginning and end of school.
S19 is not going to be as easy most likely. I have a feeling we will have at least a 4-6 hour drive to where he ends up.
For our D’s there were no distance restrictions. For my S we would like him within driving range since he has a medical condition, just in case.
Location was never a primary issue for us. We visited colleges in every region of the country on our college tours. Some are less than an hour or two drive away, and some take more than half a day to get to by plane. When we look for that “fit”, we feel many other factors are more important than geography. I certainly understand the concern about medical emergency, but hopefully its odds are very low for kids without special medical conditions. And don’t they eventually have to deal with it themselves (whether in college or beyond)?
My D and the two sons who went away put the restriction on themselves that they would not be close enough that H would drive over and surprise them. He would do that. So they were all 6 to 8 hours driving time, but still in the same state. H has not yet been to S17’s school and refuses to go until graduation. He is furious that the kid refused to apply to Stony Brook, even though he acknowledges that SBU doesn’t offer the program S17 is in.
Early in 11th, D1 anounced she wanted to go as far awy as possible. I didn’t react, just crossed my fingers. DH was fascinated by an upper midwestern college, so we went to that local roadshow. That’s where they admitted to get there, from here, you’d fly to one hub, transfer to a flight to another city, bus 45 minutes to the college town, the taxi to campus. What a hassle. By spring, she had narrowed it down to New England. Both girls were happy we could get to campus in 3 hours.
It’s that hassle. Don’t forget TSA times. Waiting fo the next flight or bus. Similar to thumper’s story, we did once need to get to ER, in the middle of the night.
We gave our kids financial restrictions not geographical. The COA at any school would include transportation. Both chose schools within a 1 day drive which saved money. They gave themselves a donut (the school couldn’t be too close either). Their decision, not ours.
“That’s where they admitted to get there, from here, you’d fly to one hub, transfer to a flight to another city, bus 45 minutes to the college town, the taxi to campus. What a hassle. By spring, she had narrowed it down to New England. Both girls were happy we could get to campus in 3 hours.”
Ugh, yes that would be a dealbreaker. We’re 20-30 minutes from our nearest hub airport, direct flights to her chosen cities, and 2 of them (DC and Boston) have easy, central airports. Her 3rd, NYC, less so but she has grandparents and a very close aunt there so not worried about emergencies (we also have very close friends in Boston who have already volunteered to be surrogate family if she ends up there).
We have global entry, which incldues TSA Pre, and imo is the best value $100 per four years you’ll ever spend !!
@lvvcsf perfect way to describe it! My D was just like that. My S, more of a donut hole (only looked close).