<p>Recently, I was talking to another parent who inadvertently revealed that her college kid would go out to dinner and put it on her credit card. Mom is low-income, kid is on generous financial aid and had a full meal plan-- so the incidental charges weren't necessary. I talked to my kid who revealed that the set-up is common: the parents give the college-age kid a credit card for incidentals and parents pay for it. I've given my kids a credit card for <em>emergencies</em> but expect them to earn $ for incidentals which includes dates, pizzas and dinners out. Honestly, kiddo even pays for some trips home and certainly for any weekend trips with friends. (I will transport kid to college in the fall and transport kiddo home in spring but we often split any other trips home.) We are on generous financial aid too but, honestly, it's less about the $ and more about the principle. I am sure there are parents at both ends of this equation but what is more common? Is my kid's school (a top lac) an aberration or do most parents who pay for residential colleges expect to pay for all spending $?</p>
<p>No way. When my college kids went to a restaurant they used their own money they earned at p/t jobs. They never would have asked me to pay for them to eat at a restaurant so I never had to actually say ‘no way’.</p>
<p>We give our kid $150 for the month for incidentals, fun, etc. She can save it, spend it on whatever she wants to…so I suppose that she can go out to dinner “on our dime.” I think that you’ll find families handle this question in many different ways–from no money provided for incidentals and fun (kid expected to earn it and pay for themselves) to allowances to carte blanche use of parents’ credit card.</p>
<p>We don’t give our kid our credit card…she has her own and she pays the bill for it out of her allowance.</p>
<p>I would not be happy if I gave my kid a credit card for emergency use only and it was used to charge a dinner. Not my idea of emergency…</p>
<p>My parents never paid for my own eating out/entertainment after about the age of 15, when I started babysitting. They certainly did not when I left for college. My husband and I have followed this same principle with our own kids.</p>
<p>I say if you can’t afford it, don’t. And even if you can afford it, but you have a parenting philosophy of your adult children working to earn their own mad-money for entertainment and luxuries (which eating out when already having a meal plan paid for definitely is) then the same - don’t. There are plenty of parents who do not pay for this. </p>
<p>Coming to CC and asking parents this question will probably yield a result that is skewed–these are parents who A) regularly cruise the internet and probably have good access via home or a job that gives them freetime to cruise while at work B) have time in general to chit-chat on these board, which in my estimation probably places most of them at a higher income bracket than the general population of parents sending kids to college.</p>
<p>D1 has one of my cards for emergencies, and for things I will pay for (for example, when she is home and picking her sister up from school every day 20 minutes from home, I will tell her to use it to put gas in her car). She would never use it for something I have not specifically allowed.</p>
<p>One semester when she was not on the meal plan for school I gave her a dollar amount she could spend on food. If she was frugal at the grocery, she could eat out cheaply a couple of times a week. She did that using my card, but she was careful not to go over the budget we had discussed.</p>
<p>She just graduated from college and is moving out to another city for her job in a few weeks. She is going to hang onto my card, but as an extra card to keep in a folder in her file cabinet in case her purse/card (her own) is ever stolen or lost. We have a deal that she will let me know and reimburse me for any expenditures from it in that case.</p>
<p>I will say that because she is a responsible kid, it became MUCH easier to handle accounting/etc. for things I will cover for her when I gave her a card. I didn’t have to pay her for stuff I said I would cover, etc.</p>
<p>Not totally on topic, but a head’s-up to some parents who may be attracted by the thread title:</p>
<p>My kids tell me that (back in the high school/early college level) frequently after a group dinner out, one kid will pay for the group and others will reimburse with cash. But sometimes the “generous” kid is pocketing the cash , explaining to Mom and Dad that they had to help their friends pay for meals because their parents hadn’t sent money… Meanwhile cash goes into pocket for weed later. Just saying… My kids got really tired of this game.</p>
<p>Our son works summers to earn all spending money as well as books. We cover tuition, R/B. Any extras are up to him.</p>
<p>Our S has his “own” credit card at school that we pay for. I do monitor his purchases, consisting mostly of meals and other incidentals, usually totaling between $125 to $150 per month. The meals were in addition to his normal meal plan. This summer he was fortunate to land a summer internship (will be a sophomore in the Fall) and now will be expected to contribute more than he has in the past.</p>
<p>My older son tried this during his Fall frosh semester. Our response was having him get a job to pay for these things himself. He had an all-you-can-eat meal plan, so getting a $400 bill one month for various off-campus hangouts did not make us happy. Frankly, it’s a bit shocking to see how fast they can spend money during a weekend…Friday night, Saturday afternoon, Saturday night, Sunday…it all adds up.</p>
<p>Another good thing about having him work is that he had less time for these pricey dinners out.</p>
<p>We send DD so much per month, which pays her living expenses and includes some for general spending. She has a full tuition scholarship. She does not have a credit card.</p>
<p>I have my own (low limit) credit card (and a debit card, but that’s another story), but my parents foot the bill for it. Thing is, I don’t spend much money over the course of the semester, and when I do, it’s usually cash I have laying around. Ironically enough though, I think the only thing I used my credit card for this semester was eating out (three times, maybe?) at the new restaurant across the street whenever dining food failed me. </p>
<p>Most of the time, I just eat dining hall food (though it can be lacking at times), and when I want food to cook/eat in my dorm, I use my extra dining plan cash (dining dollars/flex points/whatever they call it) at the college convenience store to buy stuff, so rarely do I ever spend my own money (well, beyond what I paid for the plan) on food. I think it’s a waste to have a plan if you don’t use it about 99% of the time. Eating out a few times? Sure, but not on a regular basis.</p>
<p>As for other misc. purchases, well, I don’t make a lot of those. Perhaps I’ll go see a movie or something once a semester (and pay with cash), but I’m not really a weekend shopping/partying/expensive outing kinda person. My parents have yet to have a problem with anything I’ve charged on credit, so I guess I’m in the clear. -shrug-</p>
<p>No. I put it on my own credit card and pay for it myself. Because that’s what adults should do. </p>
<p>IMO, parents shouldn’t be paying for their adult children to have fun like this. That’s what they get jobs for. If you can’t afford it, you don’t do it. Time to grow up. Again, just my opinion.</p>
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<p>It must be nice to be paid $7,200 to go to college for 4 years. :)</p>
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<p>Totally agree. If students in college pay for their own fun, then adjusting to the “real world” when mommy and daddy aren’t footing the bill will be a lot easier.</p>
<p>My D gets an allowance from her dad for incidentals or eating out, buying food if she would rather cook that eat dorm food, etc. It’s $30/week, which is more than enough since she’s on a meal plan. Her tuition, room and board are covered by money left by her paternal grandmother. Yes, we are very lucky. </p>
<p>I would never give my kid my credit card, nor would my ex. My current DH would laugh her out of the room if our younger one asks once it’s time for her to go to college. There’s no trust fund for her, BTW. Kids learn best by being responsible for their own money.</p>
<p>Dragonmom, yes, my kid told me that a lot of kids whose parents are footing the bill for extras can be quite generous about paying other kids’ bill and some pocket the cash.</p>
<p>DS is 2000miles away and only comes home 2-3x year and has a CC on my acct as well as his own. I am an ethnic minority. I told him he can go to the local (same) ethnic restaurant and have dinner once a week on me and think of it as a home cooked meal from mom. He never misses his weekly $8.99/meal.</p>
<p>Otherwise, he never charges anything on my card that is not previously cleared with me. I like being able to say “Hey, good work on ‘whatever.’ Go have a dinner on me.” Makes him so happy.</p>
<p>Hmm, my son has had a credit card with his name on it since junior year of high school. I am the only other person who uses it, and it is a spare for me, not our main card. At the end of each month, he totals up his purchases and reimburses me. I’m glad this was brought up, since I am now wondering how it will work in college. I would like for him to be able to order things on-line, like textbooks. I’d rather it not be used for restaurant meals!</p>
<p>S2 has had a credit card ever since he graduated from h.s. He knows it’s for gas in his truck,paying for local internet service when he moved off campus and emergencies only. His college is almost five hours from home and he’s usually traveling alone when coming home for breaks,etc. We felt it was important for him to have a credit card when on long trips alone…just in case. If something unexpected came up, he would check in with us before using the card. Over his four years in college, he never abused it.</p>
<p>I treat my already graduated kids to dinner all the time, even though they make plenty of bank, because they live near me and I don’t think parents should split the bill with their young adult children. My youngest is across the country, still in college, and we see him rarely. I love to tell him to take “the card” and treat himself after mid terms or finals or just when I feel he could use a treat. It turns out to be far less than if he lived around us or came home for breaks.</p>