<p>My kids always used the computers in various main parts of the house while they were in hs. Everybody seemed to like it that way because we were all running around so much that it was nice to hang out late at night. (They didn't have TVs in their rooms, either.) Now I am reading that parenting experts recommend this so that parents can do some monitoring. (That wasn't our purpose and we didn't do it, but in retrospect I think not being isolated in their rooms with the comp and the door shut was probably a good idea.) </p>
<p>Other, younger parents are now telling me that every kid whose family can afford it has a computer in his or her room these days. Is that true? Does your kid have a computer in his or her room?</p>
<p>We have an extra 'bedroom', which is really a large closet, that we have a second computer our kids shared. Son now at college so D has this one for herself. My husband and I fight over the 'main' computer in his home office.
This is the classic question with a new twist. Just because we COULD allow TVs, phones, computers, etc in our childrens' rooms, we chose not to. We have two pretty old TVs in the living areas downstairs; our kids never fought us on that either. We like the way our family is not shut off from each other physically and the ability to monitor what's going on was just a bonus.<br>
Our college age son will still flop on the couch to watch a DVD with us when he's around.....and we love that!</p>
<p>My son had a computer in a common room in which my office computer was housed as well. He did not like the lack of privacy but had no choice in the matter. We did not do it deliberately, though, it just happened that his room is rather small and has no room for a computer or a TV. </p>
<p>Now that he is in college, he comes home with his laptop and stays in his room with laptop IM'ing his friends. It is frustrating but he is almost 20 years old and not the age when his parents are interesting to him, I suppose. :(</p>
<p>The kids have had their own computers since just about birth.... this is an exaggeration, but I do remember they got to share the #3 computer when I got DH's old (new) one in 1994 (when his company gave him a laptop). Since we now have (best guess) at least 14 computers in the house, it's hard to remember just when they each got them in their rooms. I do know it was earlier than high school and might have been as early as 5th grade. </p>
<p>I NEVER NEVER allowed them to have a TV in their rooms, and in fact we didn't own a TV until they went to college.</p>
<p>Why is a computer okay but not TV? I find the attitudes in TV commercials dreadful, and it's very passive. If you use some fairly basic rules (no porn, no downloading, and no purchased computer games except on this one public computer (an old one in the kitchen)--and yes, I checked reqularly), there isn't much your kids can do with a computer that doesn't require some brain power. In fact, my son learned to program early--age 10 or so--because he wanted to create some games... because I did let him play games HE wrote.</p>
<p>How did I enforce the rules? Walked in on them a lot. Checked their computers while they were at school. That kind of thing. </p>
<p>(When we moved to this house, my son set up the entire house and yard for wireless. Now he wanders around the house with his computer.)</p>
<p>We love the wireless. Each of the three main living areas gets good reception, but the bedrooms don't. When S has a homework project, he'll take his laptop to his room anyway to write a report or essay, but his favorite "net" time is in the family room watching tivo'd Jon Stewart where I often join him.
My daughter usually uses her laptop in the family/kithcen area when she's home, as she is used to having people around in college and doesn't mind the distraction of parents gabbing. My husband and I use a laptop that's usually in this room also, although H will take it into whatever room everyone else is in.
We do have a rather lonely PC downstairs which doesn't get much use these days. Sitting at a desk seems so "worklike" when a cozy couch or chair is the alternative. My kids have never been big TV watchers growing up and never had an interest in a bedroom TV. Now, for dvd's and special shows, they much prefer the family room anyway.</p>
<p>Each of my two sons have had their own laptops for years, since we have wireless Internet, they took them everywhere (one now at college). I used to laugh when we all (including my wife) would be sitting in the living room using our computers and I would get an IM or email from one of them. My kids also have TV's in their room, but they almost never watch(ed) them. They were use primarily for video games, which never became an obsession either. They focus(ed) on martial arts training, which require(ed)s them to be out of the house for the most part.</p>
<p>Not a parent, but I have my own laptop (bought for me 3 years ago when I was living alone, now living again with parents) and my parents bought a new TV so their old one is now in my room. </p>
<p>I don't think my parents really know about the safety issues, either because they pretty much trust my sense of judgement or it's not a possibility in their world since they don't let me out at night or on weekends unless they know the friends and when and where; but the issue about lack of family time gets on their nerves. :o I admit to being a hermit and used to "living apart" from parents even in the same house for the past ten years? We used to "hang out together" but as my sisters and I grew older, we sort of lacked common things to talk about besides school and grades.</p>
<p>Regarding the TV, my father and I argue a lot about which programs to watch so I'm a little relieved. About the Internet safety, I suppose my mother gets annoyed at the length of time I'm online and once she walked in when I was on MSN and saw my display picture. Cropped picture of me wearing a spaghetti-strapped top. As a devout Muslim, she...well, "freaked out". :o Unlike Yahoo, MSN is less likely to have messages from people you don't know.</p>
<p>I'll probably let my own kids have their computers in their own rooms when they enter high school or 8th grade, acknowledging they need the time and space to do their homework. I do my homework up to all hours and the other computer is in my parents' room. I wouldn't want to keep them awake.</p>
<p>These days with laptops, and if you have wireless, the computers can be located anywhere. Back from when he was 8 years old or so, my son basically dominated the "home" computer in a little computer room that we had, and only when I needed it for my own work did he have to give it up. But that's how he taught himself to write Basic program, use spreadsheets, and manage his fantasy baseball teams. We never worried about what else he might be seeing on the web. In any case, there wasn't really much of a web in those days -- it really only started in earnest in the mid 9o's when he was in high school, and then he really needed access to it for research for his debate team work. The biggest distraction on computers is games, and you can play games in the living room, basement, bedroom, or wherever.</p>
<p>I didn't have a computer in my room until my senior year of high school, as it was my seventeenth birthday present. The family computer was moved to the family room so that the rest of the family could see the person on it. My sister got a laptop her freshman year of high school because my family started to travel more, and my parents figured it'd help her do homework away from home; she almost always uses it in the family room anyway (and pretty much only uses the computer to watch movies, play The Sims or do homework. She's not much of an Internet person). </p>
<p>The only tvs in the house were in the family room and my parents' room (there's now a third in the basement across from the treadmill). My parents never let me or my sister have our own tvs because they figured we'd spend all our times in our rooms, and it didn't really matter because my family pretty much watched the same shows anyway (and usually if me or my sister wanted to watch something my parents didn't, they'd let us use their tv).</p>
<p>They never had TVs in their rooms but each had computer in their own room starting in high school in my son's case (older kid) and about sixth grade in my daughter's--not so much for email but for writing papers at first, then expanded into email and IMs as they got older and the world changed. Also had their own shared phone line and each had a phone in room on that line, from about sixth grade and kindergarten respectively--necessary both for dial-up Internet and because in my son's middle-school years phones were how kids socialized! It is interesting to see how communication and social life have evolved, now that I think of it. In high school my daughter was always on the phone or IM-ing; now she uses her cell phone almost exclusively, even when she is home from college, and with the arrival of high-speed Internet that second phone line is probably on its way out. Also interesting to realize how much space the old desktops took up and how much space we gai on our respective desks with laptops.</p>
<p>We have just one computer in our house, and it is in the family room.
(Actually, my college D has her own laptop but that is only in our house when she is home.)</p>
<p>We do feel the need to monitor our high school sophomore son's computer use. His time management and self-discipline skills are both still "in development." We have found some inappropriate (nothing too serious, mainly today's version of Playboy centerfolds ;)) sites being accessed on the computer. The sponsors of these websites are do not share our ideals, let's just say. Our concern is that with a computer in his room, it would be too easy for him to waste mucho time on inappropriate stuff. His computer skills are much stronger than ours, so he could circumvent about any controls. He also likes to play computer games. </p>
<p>We also have just one TV, also in the family room.</p>
<p>Our son is only allowed to use the computer when his homework is done. If he needs the computer for homework, of course he gets top priority. He does maintain a Xanga site, and we have discussed appropriate posting. </p>
<p>This works for us. We know another family that has a bank of computers (one available for each kid) lined up in an open area between their kitchen and family room. It is like a mini library. They did it this way mainly so that their kids' computer use would be supervised. </p>
<p>Yes, I know that one day our son will be on his own in college with a laptop. We hope that by that point he is more mature and will handle it responsibly. For the time being, we feel this is what we should do. </p>
<p>My H hardly ever wants to use the computer after a long day in the office with a computer, and I schedule my own use when my son does not need it for schoolwork.</p>
<p>My H doesn't use the computer at all- he has to use it at work occasionally and dislikes it.
The other computers are all laptops-I encourage D to use the computer in her room- ( she does her homework on the computer)but the printer is in the living room as is the internet connection ( OHnoes- dial up!)</p>
<p>We are big on computers in our house (H is somewhat of a computer geek). We have more than one per family member. The kids have each had one since late middle school, I think. There was definitely some abuse by Wild Child- IMing was a huge part of social life and still is. H would cut off the internet at a certain time of night. Both kids' boarding schools would cut off internet at night and during study hall hours.</p>
<p>My D must be really spoiled. She has a laptop and a TV/VCR/DVD player in her room. She still spends time with us, but she likes to lie in bed and watch tv before she goes to bed. As for the computer, she has had it since jr year, mostly because I didn't like having to share mine. She knows the rules and has never given me reason not to trust her. She knows that I can access her myspace or email if I need to, which so far I haven't. While she is ALWAYS on the computer, her school work has never suffered and she has never done anything to warrant any restrctions.</p>
<p>No TV in kid's room and no phone (we aren't a big phone family, still aren't, son has a cell phone now and takes calls now in his room, but only from his GF, and one or 2 other friends, and the talking is minimal - I think we are the only people in America who don't like to talk on the phone).
But we do allow Internet, and have had multiple battles with son and have restricted Internet off and on. We have reached some equilibrium, but I wish now we had gone the way of the computer library.</p>
<p>The kids both have computers in their bedroom, but no internet access. Internet access is limited to the downstairs study. I want to be able to see where my kids are surfing to.</p>
<p>We are a family of 3 with 5 computers. DS, now in college, of course has his laptop there.</p>
<p>He had his own computer since about early middle school, but in the "family office" (kind of a second family room) where we all were. We just thought it wise and wanted him to realize that we could and would be POS whenever we felt like it.</p>
<p>At age 16, we moved and it was convenient to place his computer in his own room. At that point, we felt much like reasonabledad - if we don't trust him now, when will we? I did check his Internet history even then for about the first year, when the spirit moved me; and wanted him to know I would do that.</p>
<p>I think that kids deserve some privacy and that this amount should evolve and grow with them, just as we give them more responsibilities and rights as they grow. However, I don't think kids' lives should be totally "their own" while we're still raising them: knowing their friends, knowing their activities, setting limits..... all, imo, continue through hs (at least). Maintaining some guidelines and control of their computer use is part of this, imo.</p>
<p>So we have gone both ways. It depends on the age of the kid, imo.</p>
<p>I got a 12" iBook as a confirmation gift when I was almost 15, but I've always been a bit of a computer geek (I taught myself to code websites in HTML and CSS when I was 11). I'm a pretty responsible person, and my parents trust me not to do anything stupid or inappropriate. They're not enthusiastic about message boards in general, but CC seems to be sufficiently informative for them (it's "not a complete waste of time"). ;)</p>
<p>I have a computer in my room, mostly because I'm the one who uses it the most. My dad doesn't use it and my mom just uses it for email and papers for college and my brother used to not use it except for games. Now he has a iBook that he uses in his own room. The computer used to be in the living room in 10th grade and before for me but it created problems when my mom would sleep in there and be annoyed at me staying up so late. Computer use was probably the focal point of my parents fights with me back then but now there are thankfully no problems. I believe in parents allowing their kids their privacy and being introverted, I need my own space without people so I'm not a fan of being in an open room. I always feel bad for kids whose parents restrict them although I think it does depend on the kid in question.</p>
<p>No TV in my room but I use my computer as one basically and before I would just tape my shows since my dad monopolizes the tv and then watch my shows in the basement. I'll join cangel's family in not using the phone, my whole family isn't into the phone although my mom uses it more than all of this. But I love IMing so I need computer use for that. I can't wait til I get my new laptop in a week :)</p>