<p>laplatinum–D is no longer classified.</p>
<p>GFG–that’s crazy. To me it would be worse to be named anchor then have it taken away than never to have been named anchor. The coach is doing everything he can to squash team spirit and have such a negative effect on the whole group. </p>
<p>As for t-shirts, I suppose it depends on the school. My DS1 wore shirts from several schools out west. We are east coast, and I think it helps the kids to see there’s more schools than just in this area. It might also start a conversation–where is that school, I never heard of it. </p>
<p>On the ivy side, again my kids go to public school. DS1 is now at an Ivy. DS2 wears shirts from Ds1’s university to school. I think it’s a reminder that kids can reach for the stars and get there. This HS hadn’t sent anyone to top schools in over 7 years. Last year they sent 4. My DS2 is only sibling (I believe) so by him wearing the shirts, maybe others will keep in mind that they can go to any school if they work hard enough. DS2 is interested in local university, and will probably want to wear shirts from there once he is older and visits for himself.</p>
<p>The GFG: there still may be Title 9 violations regarding girls’ right to play sports, etc…</p>
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<p>Whether you’re looking to ingratiate yourself with these people, or p*** them off by saying you plan to be a beach bum, either way, your posts are always filled with the utmost importance of other people’s reactions to what you say or do. You’re giving them the power. YK, the best way to p*** other people off is to just act as though you don’t particularly care what they have to say, one way or the other, as opposed to concocting fanciful stories designed to annoy them, or making sure that you get into Just the Right Schools to impress them. </p>
<p>Yes, words can hurt. Absolutely. That’s what therapists are for. Seriously. But it’s also important to realize that the person who says these things (who makes fun of Middlebury since it’s not Harvard, or whatever) isn’t worth the time of day. They’re a loser. So why would the words of someone who is a loser be of importance?</p>
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<p>Well, then these kids were a bunch of insecure losers, cobrat. How come you never seem to admit that?</p>
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<p>Not everyone is the type who is able to shake these things off easily like yourself…or derive pleasure from turning the tables on those jerks/bullies like I did during my senior year to **** them off and to “exercise my inner a<strong>h</strong>e” in order to strike a blow for those being slagged on. </p>
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<p>I didn’t think there was a need to state the obvious.</p>
<p>What the coach did isn’t illegal in any way under Title 9 or anything else. It’s just stupid and wrong. I see much more over-racing of runners at the college level than the high school level. Some high schoolers do too high mileage, but it is usually self-driven and not coach-driven.</p>
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<p>I don’t know about Pizzagirl, but speaking for myself I can say that every mentally and emotionally stable adult I know has completely gotten over any taunts he or she received in high school regarding college choices. I don’t know many who were taunted to begin with. Seriously, your professionally successful friend who “is still very sensitive about her time at our high school because her experiences there ‘Made her feel dumb for all 4 years’” very likely has some other mental health issues that she should be addressing. I say that with a great deal of sympathy and empathy.</p>
<p>Someone posted about accepting ones life circumstance. That would be the ast bit of advice i would give my daughters.</p>
<p>Anger is healthy, it how you handle the anger that is important. If you are angry snotty girl is walking around parading her so called elite college shirt that day after half her class got rejected, take that anger and turn it into action or humor. Laugh at the girl whom felt the need to rub in her class,ares faces. </p>
<p>The op is angry at coach. She has several options. This is one of those life lessons that can be turned into something bigger and better. The girls who are losing the races are angry, but the should turn that anger into training harder.</p>
<p>Sometimes we do need official intervention to help get back to a healthy balance. Sometimes it may tip a bit to far, but that’s okay if it reminds people to be more aware.</p>
<p>Accepting life circumstances is not a good mindset. Being pi55ed is often good. Being distructive is not, but being proactive is</p>
<p>“It is absolutely absurd to mandate that students not share their college acceptances before May 1st.”</p>
<p>That isn’t what the schools in the article did. One school said not to wear college T-shirts to school until May 1; the other school said not to use Facebook to broadcast acceptances during the school term. Neither school said anything about sharing college acceptances with your classmates in person, on the phone, by text, email, etc. You can tell anyone anything you want; they’re just restricting the use of (in essence) billboards to announce your new brand.</p>
<p>I personally don’t think I would institute such rules if I were running a prep school, but I don’t find them unreasonable. The atmosphere within the senior class can really be toxic in April at that kind of elite high school.</p>
<p>I’m not sure that “stupid, dumb comment that should just be left on the floor” = “taunt.” Those are two different things. Anyway, part of growing up is also learning that most people’s opinions aren’t really important - especially if they aren’t even based on anything remotely real. Someone who IS going to a school that is “good” by any means who is hurt by the perceived opinion of someone else who slices the bologna really thin and declares tiers that don’t actually exist in reality - that person needs to get a handle on things, too. Sorry, I don’t really have a lot of sympathy for “I went to Carnegie Mellon / Middlebury / Grinnell but I was poked fun at because it wasn’t Harvard.”</p>
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<p>Then you were far more fortunate than most people I’ve encountered in my academic and professional life. Nearly everyone I know has been subjected to tauntings/bullyings…oftentimes far worse than what existed at my high school. </p>
<p>In some cases, this was a product of the culture of their local town/region and a key factor in why they made it a point to permanently move out once they left for college. </p>
<p>Moreover, there’s been news about psychological research where they were said to have found that the effects of traumatic events in one’s life…including school bullying can last decades to the point of being a lifelong thing and is one natural way many process such events. </p>
<p>In short, such folks are dealing with it the best way they are able and are within the realm of “normal” according to such reports. </p>
<p>Sometimes, I get the feeling that those who attribute not being able to “get over” something is “maladjusted” or worse, “mentally ill” either had little/no experiences with it firsthand or know many/anyone who has or worse…were former bullying/slagging types who continue to feel that victims of such treatment who can’t “get over it” are “weak” and deserving of ridicule. </p>
<p>This has been reinforced by my own encounters with folks in both camps.</p>
<p>How do ya all still have HS T-shirts…didn’t you wash your own cars? ;)</p>
<p>Do you think most adults are mentally and emotionally stable, absweetmarie? Our country’s current use of anxiety medicines, anti-depressants, sleeping pills, and drug and alcohol abuse tell me there are an awful lot of hurting people out there. Back when my youngest was in a playgroup, I learned I was the only mom there who wasn’t on anti-depressants or sleep aids. From the outside, these women seemed together but obviously some of the them were struggling emotionally.</p>
<p>Frankly, one pattern I see in some teachers is that they have unfinished business from their own time in school. Sometimes that comes out in who they favor and who they don’t. There is a phys ed. teacher at our high school that all the kids say picks on the athletes. They claim she isn’t really athletic and was probably teased by some jocks when she was in school or something. So can you see how that person could become the kind of coach who has a grudge against the talented athlete and looks for every way possible to promote the untalented ones to the former’s detriment? (We aren’t talking about a normal encouragement of all types of students, but an over-the-top thing.)</p>
<p>One of my son’s teachers told him he had really wanted to go to the school S got into, but couldn’t. He was cold to my son after that point in time. Many people are small, petty, and trapped by their past. Sometimes they are the ones making the stupid rules.</p>
<p>I wash my car with cloth diapers. :)</p>
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<p>Honestly, I cannot say most people I know were “taunted” or “bullied” to the levels you describe. You are describing a way of people interacting with one another that is just outside anything I’ve ever experienced. Especially the breadth of it - everyone is always taunting and bullying and picking on everyone else in your world. </p>
<p>I’m not excusing taunting or bullying and I take it very seriously. But I’d be interested in the kind of reaction or situation that you are calling taunting or bullying. I wonder if sometimes it’s trash-talking being misinterpreted. Taunting / bullying also has an inevitability around it - you can’t ignore the guy who’s taunting you, he’s in your face, shoving you around, won’t step out of your way, gets in your face when you’re minding your own business. I’m sorry, I have a really hard time believing this goes on with respect to college choices. Really, someone comes up to someone else, gets in that person’s face with a “Hey, man, I heard you got into Cornell, it’s not Harvard, you suck, dude” and refuses to get out of that person’s way? Follows them around to their classes, tapes nasty things on their locker, what?</p>
<p>I do not recall much taunting at my large public school. No scars I recall. Actually very good overall memory of it and I was no star. The only clashes I recall where over not being invited to a major private pool party. Some guys got upset and pulled a pretty awesome prank. Had to do with a shopping bag full of Kool-aid.</p>
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<p>I am afraid that in the teaching profession, and coaching, there is more than just a little bit of this. It burns me up when I see it in coaching. It’s harder to detect in daily academic life.</p>
<p>Dirty car is perfect with me, why to bother wash it? And some dealers have free service anyway if you are not lazy to drive there…T-shirts go to Salvation Army where they belong</p>
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<p>I’m not sure I would say most adults are mentally and emotionally stable and, of course, I know people who are hurting over all kinds of childhood trauma. Maybe I should restate my point, which is that I do not know a single adult who is still nursing any wounds related to people’s reactions to the school he or she attended. Really. Not a one. And I have never witnessed, in my adult life, anyone make fun of someone else for his or her school choice. Never. The people I am friends with and with whom I do business have better things to talk about. Am I sheltered? Do I just run with a nice crowd? I don’t know.</p>