It’s important, and empowering, for kids to learn how to advocate for themselves. It is possible that your son doesn’t want you to intervene because he knows he screwed up. Based on the fact that you are upset about the grade, I can understand that he wouldn’t want to volunteer that to you! Or he may know more about the teacher’s disposition about such matters. (My son had a teacher in elementary school who strictly forbade parents in the classroom after the school day had ended because she felt so strongly that coming in to pick up a book or papers that they’d forgotten to take home simply taught them that if they messed up, their parents would cover for them. At least we all knew where we stood on accountability with her!)
There is a real world lesson in here. There will be times when a person drops the ball unintentionally – can’t get to work because the car won’t start – but leaves someone in a lurch all the same. It’s important to accept the consequences (i.e., the rest of the team was short-handed as a result) even when the mistake wasn’t deliberate. Learning to apologize and ask if there’s a way to make up for the error is a valuable skill.
I’ve been in your shoes, and it’s very difficult to watch from the sidelines. You can offer support by practicing a dialogue with the teacher, brainstorming on solutions, etc. but not by fighting their battles.
Yes, if a kid has a serious illness then teachers are likely to be more understanding. However, if you have the flu, you are almost certainly not going to be able to send an email over the weekend and be back at school on Monday. There are very few serious illnesses that keep you out of school for only one day.
And since this was an oral presentation, I doubt very much that it was a one-day assignment. If I was a teacher, I wouldn’t have much sympathy for you if you had a long-term assignment and didn’t turn it in because you left it until the night before. Plus, the student had the weekend to work on it if needed.
In college, I was in a class with a dozen students. The teacher was clear about no make-up exams, for any reason. I woke up so sick, my house mother actually drove me to the building. The teacher told me to go directly to the infirmary. I think I was there 5 days. I was relieved I could take the test later. Since no one shared anything about the exam, the prof didn’t have to write a new one.
Jym’s son’s offer to turn in a vomit drenched paper really is a winner.
@romanigypsyeyes , my son’s school provides only a single grade for the course for the year. Some teachers have a policy of “rounding up” if there’s been an upward trend over the year while others average evenly, arguing that it’s a grade for the year and why should better performance at the end of the year count for more than at some other point. There was one year when DS started off very badly – the teacher had a policy of grading very hard to prepare the kids for the way they’d be graded on the AP exam. He eventually learned what she wanted and his grades came up steadily over the year. He finished a mere 0.5% below cutoff for the next grade, and the teacher didn’t round up. Painful lesson because nobody looking at the transcript could see the trend. (He did get a 5 on the AP though!!)
@romanigypsyeyes, I’d want to be careful in evaluating the kid’s illness before making such a judgment. In fact, at many high schools missing a single day of school is so difficult that kids who really are ill and should stay home miss only that single day but are pretty darned sick. Bookworm’s story illustrates the point. I don’t know what’s what here and I’m not saying that the student should have been excused from handing in the assignment the day he returned to school. I’m only saying that such a blanket policy is unnecessarily harsh and that I don’t rush to applaud the teacher’s reaction.
My kids’ school gave yearly grades, but would provide semester or interim grades when necessary, but their official transcript only showed end of year final grades.
I don’t know whether our school currently reports semester or year grades but I do know that they have used both these methods in recent years. So not all schools report the same way.
@3girls3cats, when a student misses a day, it is presumed that they should have already done the work due on the first day they got ill. It’s due the day they return. This was apparently what happened to the OP’s son. No, they don’t expect a student out the week with flu to be working the entire time. And since the assignment was to annotate, I think the OP’s son was also stretching it to expect that “annotation in his head” would be ok. He could have contacted the teacher when he was doing the assignment before he got sick. He could have contacted the teacher the day he was ill. He could have contacted classmates and asked them whether the teacher expected written notes to be turned in that day. Asking what the assigment is 2-3 days after he should have completed the work is sure to leave a bad impression. He missed his chance to present his work orally. I’m not sure why he thought the teacher would not expect written notes.
I sincerely want to thank everyone for their thoughtful responses. My son did try to advocate for himself. He wrote the teacher a very persuasive email explaining where he thought there was a miscommunication. She basically rolled her eyes at him. He has learned his lesson that he really needs to pay attention to the details with this particular teacher and to be extremely proactive when it comes to assignments. He’s depressed about what he feels is an injustice, but he will live. Hopefully this B- will not drag down his final grade. If it does, so be it–he’s got better grades in his other classes.
From the OP: "On Monday he did not have any notes to give her as he had kept his discussion points in his head–plus, he figured she would offer him a makeup assignment. "
We’re not talking about hospitalization. We’re talking about a scenario where the points were “in his head” and could have been typed up had he “figured” correctly.
Just saying, email is not always the best way to plead a case. We get a number of CC college kids who are stunned profs don’t always jump to respond and prefer more direct contact re: an issue.
@sylvan8798, in my opinion and in my experience, a good teacher reacts with flexibility. I’d also expect students and parents to be flexible when a teacher’s illness keeps him from fulfilling his commitments. As I’ve already said, I wasn’t there, I don’t defend the student’s failure to transcribe his notes from his head to paper or laptop, and I’m fully open to the conclusion that in this case, the assignment should have been turned in on the day the student returned to class. However, because I wasn’t there, I’m not ready to jump on the bandwagon that the teacher was right to take the position she did. It strikes me as rigid and perhaps unkind. Again, this depends on the the context, the illness, the student’s past record, the history of the assignments, etc. I wasn’t there. I don’t know this child or this teacher. It may have been the right outcome but the teacher’s reaction strikes me as rigid and a bit unkind. That’s my opinion and my reaction. You are free to differ of course.
There are several posters on this thread maintaining that the right policy and the policy in their schools is to expect that assignments are due the day the student returns to class. As a blanket policy, I think that’s unduly harsh and thank goodness, that’s not been my experience or the experience of my children.
Just for clarification: it was only the assignments that were due on the day that they were absent that are due on the day they come back. The rest have as many days as you missed.
This is so students don’t miss a day and then get another 2 days to make up an assignment.
Yes, if you’re in the urgent care 10 minutes after you get out of school and very ill the whole time you are out, teachers will probably be flexible. However, that doesn’t seem to be the case here.
Personally, I’m not a good teacher. I’m rigid, harsh, and unkind as I’m sure my students would tell you. I also don’t have a problem with being considered a bad, rigid, harsh, and mean B. I got over that a long time ago. What I’m not is a doormat.
If your son wasn’t sure, why didn’t he write the notes down anyway since they were already in his head? Then he would’ve covered all his bases - would’ve had the assignment ready to turn in in case that’s what she asked for but also had the possibility of doing a makeup assignment.
If the teacher’s policy is normally that you turn in work on the day you return, then that should’ve been what he prepared. Even if she’s sometimes “known” to give out makeup assignments, if that’s not an every-time thing - and also not the classroom policy - he shouldn’t have relied on that as a possibility. He should’ve had the assignment itself prepared to go.