<p>Well if you do end up having to pay the fee you'll receive the best of both worlds.</p>
<p>Stanley, I think I am well qualified to answer all your questions.
I have gone to Stanford for over 2 years.</p>
<p>In my Freshman year, I stayed in an all Freshman dorm and then moved onto mixed class dorms, so I have experienced plenty.</p>
<p>The first thing is that if you go to Stanford, you will have to fill out your housing applications and act as if you are moving in. You will then have to pay in full the rent for the room, as part of your fees.
You did mention that money wasn't an issue for your father. That is good news, because if you are staying away from the college, you still have to pay the fees. That is like wasted money, so it is good that you have rich parents.</p>
<p>I have noticed many of the other posters advising you to move in for a while to get the "college experience". From discussions with my friends at other colleges, the "Stanford experience" is quite different to the general "college experience".</p>
<p>Firstly, they really try to make the dorms into community orientated places. This is good for making friends, but if you are looking for romance or a hook up you can forget it. Dormmates are more like brothers and sisters. I have never known two people from the same dorm building to go out with each other.</p>
<p>The second myth about college is that everyone is having sex all the time, people talk about it as if they are constantly getting asked to leave the room by their roommate so he can have sex or that he brings back a girl and does it in front of them and so on.
In all honesty, none of my roommates in college have ever had sex in my room, and every one of them have stayed there every night, and I was there too, so I can truthfully say there hasn't been anything like that. I've never heard anyone else in neighbouring dorms having sex, never met any half naked women wandering around corridors or even heard of anyone staying over. So it really all isn't as reported, not at Stanford anyway.</p>
<p>The system we have here is a quarter system. There are 3 quarters, with 10 weeks in the quarter, followed by 1 week of exams. There are also usually a couple of midterm exams as well, so people are nearly always doing an exam or preparing for an exam, and there are all sorts of other tasks.</p>
<p>There are definetely different types of students. The majority of Stanford students are over-achievers and don't go out partying very much. There are some who do, and that varies between those who have a few drinks and those who get wasted.</p>
<p>I'm not sure if I have gotton a bit off topic, so just to get it back on topic, some of the guys were saying you could move in for a while and try it out.
Keep in mind that you are paying for the room, so you can do what you want.</p>
<p>The authorities absolutely won't notice that you are not staying there, but don't tell your roommate that you aren't staying there or he might get too comfortable. Maybe say something like, you won't be there for the first couple of weeks and extend it if necessary. Try out a few nights as well. Who knows, maybe it won't be as noisy as you think. It really depends on luck. </p>
<p>Another idea is that you can have your meals in your dorm house. This means that you get to interact and socialise with your housemates. That is where the socialising is done anyway. Then if you go home, your dormmates usually go back to their own rooms anyway, so you won't be missing out on that much. But if you enroll at Stanford you should try to have some meals there and get to know your housemates, stop off at your room now and again, even just during the day, do some study there, and attend the house meetings as well.</p>
<p>I hope some of this advise answers some questions.
Oh, and by the way, I do know some people who "maintain" rooms. That is the official term, where they pay for the room and maybe visit now and again, but don't spend many nights there. So it's not like you would be the first to do that.</p>
<p>
[quote]
The second myth about college is that everyone is having sex all the time, people talk about it as if they are constantly getting asked to leave the room by their roommate so he can have sex or that he brings back a girl and does it in front of them and so on.
In all honesty, none of my roommates in college have ever had sex in my room, and every one of them have stayed there every night, and I was there too, so I can truthfully say there hasn't been anything like that. I've never heard anyone else in neighbouring dorms having sex, never met any half naked women wandering around corridors or even heard of anyone staying over. So it really all isn't as reported, not at Stanford anyway.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Thats disappointing</p>
<p>i safely the sex thing is going to depend on where you go to school.</p>
<p>While I understand the comfort of living at home, I'll agree with everyone in the thread that said you'll be missing out on the college experience.</p>
<p>While you may have freedom at home, college is not just about the freedom to stay out as late as you want and go to parties. Part of the experience is living somewhat on your own. I say "somewhat" because when living in the dorms you still have meals cooked for you and an RA to enforce some basic rules. Nevertheless, living in the dorms is somewhat of a bridge between living at home and living completely on your own. </p>
<p>In the dorms, there is no one there to tell you what you should be doing at all (again, outside of things such as not breaking the law) but you're responsible for yourself, getting up on time for class and so on.</p>
<p>Also, living in the dorms teaches you how to live and interact with other people. Yes, sometimes your roommate might be problematic, and you may be bothersome to him as well. But you'll have to learn how to cope with these challenges which will help prepare you for the real world. And as many others have stated, it'll be more difficult to get involved on campus and to meet people if you stay at home. I would not be the person that I am now if I had not lived in the dorms my freshman year, which I could have chose not to do since my house is about 45 min. away from my university. Granted, I'm on a scholarship so my housing is paid for anyway, but even if that had not been the case, I still would have lived on campus to experience what "college life" has to offer (cliched I know).</p>
<p>I have far too many great memories from living in the dorm to ever recommend to someone to commute, unless it's for financial reasons.</p>
<p>Because I lived in the dorms, I met my friend Juston who got me to join my fraternity, which I am now President of. I met people who I have since taken classes with which makes a huge lecture hall far less threatening. I was in-charge of shopping for myself and have since learned far more about the value of money. I became a part of many midnight road-trips, gone on random adventures, and got to feel far more like a part of my campus than any of the commuters that I know.</p>
<p>Give living in the dorm a chance, don't write it off because living at home is easier (it would have been for me as well). Dorm life is not without some challenges, but the reward is far and away greater than any problems that you will face.</p>
<p>Saluki's post about the "college experience" is excellent. It's not all about sex, partying, or studying. You get a lot out of living in a dorm, even if just for one semester or year.</p>
<p>Stanley, do you HONESTLY think your "college visit" is an accurate depiction of the college lifestyle? You don't understand what the "college experience" deal is because you aren't in college. Being a freshman is a one time opportunity, at least give it a shot. If you hate it for 3 months, then move home during winter break.</p>
<p>You could always just pay the fees to live in the dorm and perhaps stay there a few nights a week. It's nice to know that you have a place on campus to store stuff, such as clothes, maybe your computer, and such. I see that the only problem with living in the dorms might be the noise level; perhaps you can return home to study for that midterm or final. If you're able to afford it, I don't see why you don't just pay up and see how it is.</p>
<p>Stanley,
Just a few other things</p>
<ul>
<li><p>If you are paying for the room, you might as well give it a try, as other posters said. Remember, you can go home any night you choose. You can stay in the dorm 3 nights a week if you want, 1 night a week or whatever. Better still, stay in it every night for a while and if you don't like it, you can move home anytime. That's an option many students don't have.</p></li>
<li><p>Listen to some of the rhetoric coming from certain posters on this forum, where they discuss the "college experience". If you don't live in the dorm, then people will be talking about this kind of thing to you in later years when you get a job and telling you how you missed out. Have you ever heard older people discuss their college days and how great it was? As time passes, they look back on things as if it were much rosier, your friends will probably do the same and remember it as better fun then it actually was.</p></li>
<li><p>If you live in the dorm for a while, you will then genuinely know that it isn't really that great. That might sound funny, but if you don't live in the dorm, you might wonder if you actually missed out on something great.</p></li>
<li><p>You will learn for sure what dorm life is really about, especially at Stanford. As I said in another post, they set it up to make each dorm like a sort of big family. You won't find any romance between dormmates, which is referred to as dormcest and frowned upon at Stanford, a sort of unwritten rule, but making good friends is pretty easy most of the time. And it is usually with dormmates that the friendships are made. Often people don't know many others outside of their own dorm building.</p></li>
<li><p>Alcohol also isn't a big deal. I get the sense that you are a guy who doesn't drink alcohol. You'll find that maybe over half of the students don't drink. There are also rules banning alcohol from all frosh dorm public areas, so there doesn't be any alcohol in the frosh dorms unless someone sneaks it privately into their room. So that cuts out any peer pressure or any nonsense drinking games in dorm areas.
You could get drink at frat parties, but there isn't that many of those. Considering the number of students, it seems that most don't bother with them and I've known plenty of people to go to them and not drink there either.</p></li>
<li><p>The most important point to make is that dorm living is much worse after your frieshman year. They have something called The Draw. We won't go into that, but lets just say it's easier for you to try it out for the Freshman Year than trying it out later. So give it a try, and the bit of hardship of dorm life will make you more appreciative of things.</p></li>
</ul>