<p>I've written a related posting a few weeks ago so please excuse the repetition - this is a little different. My daughter is going to a large state university, although as an out of state student. She is in the Honors program and was fortunate to get into one of the more desirable dorms - location-wise. When she got her room assignment in July, it turned out to be a triple, which she was not happy about but came to accept. At that time I called the Housing Office and was reassured that the triples were bigger rooms and were not just doubles with a third person squeezed in. However, now in August she has received the detailed information about her roommates as well as the exact room dimensions. In speaking to other students this week (on-line of course) she has learned that the doubles around her - same building and same floor, are actually bigger in square footage. I wrote an email to the Housing Office to question this as it is contrary to what I was initially told and received a response that the triple has three closets and that makes it suitable to accomodate three students - even though the square footage is less than a double. My daughter is very upset because the situation was misrepresented to us when I made the call - before she signed the non-cancellable contract. I have to agree with her but I strongly suspect that nothing will be done by the Housing Office, no matter what we do. Her only option is to find someone who wants to trade rooms with her once school starts - which is probably not going to happen since most students would not want a triple room, especially a small one. I keep trying to be a good parent. I have repeatedly told her that it will be fine and most students don't spend alot of time in their room anyway. However, in reality I know that she is right and the Housing Office is wrong to put three people in such a small space and also misrepresent the facts since it is really a double (or smaller) room square footage wise - regardless of the third closet. What about the extra bed, dresser and desk that is also being squeezed in ? What would you do if it was your daughter ?? (I don't think a son would mind as much, although I may be wrong). At this point she is not at all excited about going to this school and feels that she has been duped - of course we have no choice this late in the game.</p>
<p>Since there is probably no changing it, just keep quiet and let your D make the best of it. Her roommates could be the nicest people. If not, it is only one year and she can find other places to hang out. Try not to give her any negative expectations. And make sure she doesn't take too much stuff.</p>
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I have repeatedly told her that it will be fine and most students don't spend alot of time in their room anyway.
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Exactly right. If you rattle around cc a bit, you will find issues so much bigger than this. It's a disappointment and an inconvenience, to be sure. But it is minor.</p>
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What would you do if it was your daughter ??
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I'd try to tell my D it's only about 9 months and to not worry so much about a few square feet. I know she's disappointed but tripling double rooms at colleges isn't that unusual and she'll probably adjust just fine. Whether she had a slightly larger room or not isn't likely to impact her triple experience that much. My D was in a tripled double last year so I understand about the small space (she'd have to climb onto the roomie's chair and desk to get in and out of her bed). </p>
<p>I'd also not worry about the 'uncancellable contract' since what would you do otherwise? </p>
<p>I recommend you try not to feed your D's disappointment and try to minimize the situation as much as possible while still lending moral support.</p>
<p>First of all, my sympathy to both you and your daughter. It may seem silly from a parent perspective, but housing assignments are really important to students, who already have fears about having a roommate and living away from home. When the assignment comes as a disappointment as it has for your daughter, it can be really hard to feel excited about getting to school since you've seemingly started on the wrong foot. My advice would be to find out as much information from the reslife office as you can - is this a forced triple (a room originally intended to be a double)? Do they make efforts to de-triple ASAP, or is the soonest possible time to move at the start of the spring semester (some of the rooms at my college start being de-tripled after a month). Do you need to sign on to a waitlist for a double? Is there a discounted housing rate if she remains in the triple?</p>
<p>Other than being proactive about getting information from reslife, there's nothing you really can do, except be supportive, encourage your daughter to pare down when packing because of the especially tight living arrangement, and remind her of all the positive things she has to look forward to. Everything will out okay in the end :)</p>
<p>And having three closets is something to be thankful for at least! A small plus, but a plus nonetheless.</p>
<p>His sophomore year my older son showed up for college to find out that he was sharing an actual double--and not a very big one at that--with two other guys, because apparently more students came than expected. They had to jam in another desk and bed. They offered to put in a portable wardrobe, since he had no closet or dresser, but he decided not to overcrowd the room any more and just shared space with the other guys. (Fortunately, he didn't have that many clothes.) Despite the crowding, the guys worked things out, and he had a great year. Young people are flexible--or can learn to be so--and it is a good lesson to learn to make the most of what life throws your way.</p>
<p>I agree with srcameron. Try to make student housing/residential life your new best friend. As a parent who has been through this with TWO daughters, housing can actually be staffed with very kind people who will do their best to help you. Find out EVERYTHING you can about your daughter's housing, the other rooms in the dorm, the other dorms on campus, etc. My oldest daughter (now a senior in honors program at large stateU living in a scholarship hall) and my youngest D (heading off for her freshman year at smaller, private college next week) BOTH received room changes BEFORE they arrived on campus. All because there was someone who listened to my concerns in the residential life office. </p>
<p>My first suggestion is to make sure you are talking to the right person, the person with the power to make a change. I was pouring my heart out to a RECEPTIONIST with D#2 - definitely not the person I needed to be wasting words on. Have specific other reasons why maybe she needs the change - any health concerns, sleeping problems, desire to be on a substance free floor, etc. etc. Be calm and respectful. It is not always the way I want to handle something, but it ALWAYS seems to be the way that gets the result I desire. Be polite but persistent. I am not sure how long you have until your daughter moves in, but changes are made daily up until move in day and every day after that. Ask when you should call for an update on the progress being made to move her to a different room, etc., or TELL THEM when you will call for an update.</p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>I feel your pain. My daughter found out this week she is in a forced triple, they only have 2 closets. They will survive and at a large university I would think you daughter has a pretty good chance of getting another room assignment in a few weeks, if she still wants one.</p>
<p>My best friend last year was in a forced triple last year, surrounded by much nicer set-ups (including triples with common rooms and kitchens). She lived. So do other girls all across the country in triples. So will your daughter. It's normal to be disappointed, but this is a dorm assignment for an incoming student: you get what you get. </p>
<p>My advise: be positive, stop calling the housing office, and be positive. If she goes in expecting the worst, then that's what she'll find. </p>
<p>As for the practicals, one room triples usually have two beds bunked and one alone. It may be possible, depending on the set-up, to put a dresser under the non-bunked bed or to put dressers inside the closets.</p>
<p>EDIT: I know some parents will disagree with me about not calling the housing office, but I do believe that college housing matters, with the possible exceptions of issues regarding safety or finances, can and should be handled by the student. Quite frankly, the notion of bringing up false health or other concerns in order to get a better room--and force someone else into your undesireable room just because you don't want it, when the other student won't want it either--strikes me as morally questionable and makes me feel very uncomfortable.</p>
<p>It may be possible to bunk 2 of the beds, or loft style all 3 to make more floor space. D put her dresser inside her closet to give her more floor space. This is also a good time to have the "less is more" discussion, and not over-packing. It'll be fine, I'm sure.</p>
<p>My S was in 5 person suite that really should have been for 4. Three ended up with singles, and S had to share. Even with bunk beds, the desks, chairs and bookcases had to be in the common room. He bunked again last year and will do so again this year. We are aware that some rooms in other Houses are palatial compared to his. But he likes his roommate and his suitemates. He is content.</p>
<p>When my son started his freshman year in 2005 we paid extra to get a double room that had a bathroom to share in between his room and the room next door. The room next door was a handicap room(very large) so they cut the square footage out of my son and his roomates room (very tiny compared to other doubles).</p>
<p>By the end of the first semester the boys in the room next door moved there beds in my sons room as bunks and moved the desks into their room. They had a sleeping room and a study room. It worked out great for them. If I had known that I would have paid several thousand less for a quad!</p>
<p>They have a way of making it work, someone has to get stuck with the smaller rooms. It's unfortunate when your paying the bill, but they do survive and my son was happy that year so that's all that counts. Hope it works out for your daughter.</p>
<p>I was in this situation my freshman yr. To make it worse, I was out of state and my roommates were instate - good friends and beauty (pagent) queens. I imagined the worst (closets overflowing with clothes, makeup & jewelry everywhere). In the end, some of it was true. They even changed/dressed up for dinner and wore dresses to football games, haha. But I think they chose the bunkbeds (since they were friends and wanted to be together) and we worked out the storage issues (only 2 closets). Since they lived close, they didn't bring all their stuff at once and often went home on weekends. We wound up with different groups of friends and didn't hang out in our room much. It all worked out fine since we were nice to one another. By 2nd semester, slots opened up and I moved in with a friend on another floor.</p>
<p>It won't help your D, but for perspective there were many colleges in the early 70's caught short by too many students accepting admissions. My freshman year 50 girls spent the first semester "housed" at a cheap motel near campus. At H's that same year, nearly 100 men had cots in the basketball stadium until the no-shows and early flunk-out/drunk-out whittled the number down to where housing could force triple them.
It's not what you signed up for, but at this point you just have to smile and go with the flow, becuase one of the girls in her room or on her floor will probably end up being a life-long friend. They will adapt.<br>
My D did this and while it's a pain at first it usually works out. Loft the single bed and put all the dressers under that if you can. Plus behind the dressers might be room for suitcase/box storage. It makes the 3 beds more equal if single bed doesn't have the storage space all to herself.</p>
<p>eesh i get very irritable when i am put in a bad situation like the ones mentioned b4..i have a minor unclassified Autism Spectrim Disorder(AKA PDD) and i have one big Autism thing: BLOW UPs/Tantrums/Screaming on occasion...i blew up at my dog this afternoon she was frusturating me so much..</p>
<p>sheesh im glad im only looking at small not so popular colleges</p>
<p>Two, I think the real issue will not turn out to be the square footage or furniture but the human element: the interaction between these three young women. If they are friendly and accomodating, all will be well, even at close quarters. If they are uncooperative and hostile, then even a spacious room wouldn't compensate.</p>
<p>I attended the same university as your daughter decades ago, during the first baby boom wave. I shared a teeny, quirky single with a complete stranger, but we became fast friends, ended up rooming together all four years and in fact are still close some 40+ years later. (Though not so close as we were that first year.:) ) We had a lot of laughs in that sardine can of a room and it's one of my fondest memories of college.</p>
<p>I was tripled as a freshman. At first we were a bit resentful, but when one of the girls found space with someone who had a single we missed her.</p>
<p>I think we all have different needs when it comes to housing. Some kids are not at all bothered by the prospect of a small triple room and others find it very distressing. Those very same students who are do not want to live in a triple room situation might be people who handle all sorts of other different situations which another might find uncomfortable just fine. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. </p>
<p>When MP asked whether the OP's D had reasons (health or otherwise) that might be the reason she does not want to live in a cramped triple, I don't think MP was suggesting that those reasons be falsified. When we can't tolerate a siuation there is usually a uniquely personal reason why that is so.</p>
<p>Instead of 9 months, perhaps it will only last one semester. As evidenced in some earlier posts, people move around after the first semester; some may even move off-campus. Try to have your daughter politely check with housing as often as possible (in person!) to see if anything might open up for the second semester. I certainly understand your concern; son was in a double meant for a single last year due to over-acceptance at his college. I think colleges need to be more aware of how many acceptances they are handing out--there are not an abundance of new dorms being built on college campuses; and the ones that are there in many cases are very old!!!</p>
<p>I got the impression that MP was suggesting the OP use those reasons to strengthen their case for a room change, rather than because they are legitimate concerns. If that wasn't the case, then I apologize. It seems, though, that if the concern about substance free housing existed, for example, they would have a problem with the room even if it were the largest on the floor, and they would have objected from the beginning. Since the OP gave a pretty detailed first post, I also think he would have mentioned any pressing medical concerns. (Of course, most medical concerns worth noting would call for a single or a handicap room; there aren't a whole lot of medical concerns that would arise in a small triple but not a medium-sized triple.)</p>
<p>The OP's daughter sounds upset at the prospect of a small room mainly in the "It's not fair!" kind of way. From the OP's post, it doesn't seem as if the daughter is acutely distressed or any more unhappy than other students would be who suddenly find out that their housing situation is worse than expected. She's upset because she just found out that she's in a really small room. Most students would be. But she's 18 (presumably); she'll adjust and be fine. Again, she does not sound, from the OP's post, to be unusually or extraordinarily distressed. She just wishes she were in a larger room or was told of her housing situation earlier.</p>