I am a confused college freshman who would greatly appreciate ANY feedback you may have. Thank you in advance.
I am currently a freshman at a top liberal arts college in the United States. I really wanted to attend this school and worked very hard in high school to get in but now that I am here I truly dislike it. It’s been about three months and while things have gotten better since the first month, I still feel uncomfortable and out of place here (at first I thought some of it had to do with the adjustment but now I am confident this is not the case). It has nothing to do with my race or socioeconomic status, but mainly to do with the fact that the school is extremely homogenous and I don’t fit in with the culture or like it (it generally makes me uncomfortable). I do have a few close friends but I am used to being extremely social and having a lot of friends from high school. While I know friendships take time to cultivate, the problem here that I can’t see myself being friends with that many people at this institution. The people I have befriended also feel a bit out of place as well. The school is great but only seems to cater to a specific type of person. I do love the academics and my professors and am performing very well, but socially I am not happy here and don’t see this situation improving, despite giving this a lot of thought (and in my opinion the social aspect of college is just as important as the academic one). It has unfortunately gotten to the point where being here has made me feel more sad than happy on most days.
I want to leave this school ASAP but my only option for next semester is my state’s flagship university, and it is not a top one. However, it would be a great deal cheaper (I would have money for grad school) and assure me that I could find my place since lots of different types of people attend large state schools. However, would this be a downgrade? Is it true that academics are lower quality at schools that aren’t at the “top?” for non-STEM majors? I hate to think that but rankings are always in a student’s face. Similarly, if I leave this institution will it hurt my chances of getting a job or attending a top grad school? Or are the main factors truly your GPA, test scores, and extracurriculars/internships? I want to prioritize my happiness but I can’t help but feel like I am giving up a wonderful opportunity. My other option is to wait a year and transfer to another top LAC but there is no guarantee I will get in considering they all have extremely high freshman retention rates and accept VERY few transfers. I would also hate to wait a year and then end up at my state university anyway because I would have spent a lot of money that could have been saved. I do also have some fears about finding friends if I transfer into a school as a Sophomore since lots of people likely already found their friend groups.
As you can see, I have a lot on my mind and am confused. While only I can make this decision, I would appreciate any insight parents, students, transfers, etc. may have. Please know I am grateful for having had the chance to attend this school as I know many people would love to be at this institution. I am disappointed it is not what I thought it would be, and am just trying to figure out the next best step. I hope I did not come across as ungrateful in this post as this was not my intention.
What is your major? What is your post-graduation goal? I attended an elite LAC and felt exactly as you do now. I decided to suck it up and graduate early. I received a fantastic education but I hated everything else about the school and do not look back fondly on those years except the academics. I think in some instances, sucking it up is the right decision, and it was the right decision for me for a number of reasons. But in other instances, transferring is the right decision. The choice will depend on your personality, goals, transfer options, and opportunities at the transfer school. Since you haven’t provided those details, you’ll need to figure that out. Are you the type who could muscle through, continue to do well academically, and find ways to stay busy outside of academics until graduation to reap the benefits your LAC provides? Can you attain your goals at your flagship?
Hi thanks for your response! It’s important to me to enjoy my college experience especially considering how much money I am paying. I am a humanities major and I believe that I can get into the grad school I want at my flagship school (it will likely take more work, but it is doable). I do not think it is worth it to stay here if I am not completely happy.
Would you be comfortable elaborating on why it was the right decision for you to stay at your school?
We live in the Northeast of the US, and did look at several very highly ranked LACs in this geographical area. My daughter ended up at a small university in eastern Canada (the Canadian equivalent of a LAC). It is my impression that the culture is quite a bit different, although the academics would have been very good either way. I am not very good at describing culture, but it seems to me that there is a difference between “smart with serious academics” versus “prestigious”, and where she is has the first, whereas the highly ranked LACs that we looked at have both.
I do agree that the culture at highly ranked LACs is not a good fit for everyone, even if the academics are excellent. Also, it is very difficult while you are still a high school student to know what is going to be a good fit for you.
When I was in graduate school (at a highly ranked school) there were indeed other students there who had done their undergrad at a very wide range of other schools, including many state flagships. The trick is to do very well wherever you are or wherever you end up.
I don’t think that this is an easy decision. There is still time to apply as a transfer student to other schools.
I would not transfer next semester if you are not enthusiastic about the one option you would have. It’s better to transfer TO a school that appeals to you than simply AWAY from one you don’t like.
Can you think of a way to make the year tolerable? Can you go abroad next semester? Get involved with something that takes your focus off campus?
I appreciate what it is to feel you aren’t in the right place, but it’s also important that you don’t let that drive you to another wrong place. It is hard to be at a LAC when you feel at odds with the dominant culture, so planning to transfer is probably a good plan. If things turn around for you, you can always stay.
Another option is to look for LACs with which you are more culturally aligned, and see whether you could transfer. For example, if you are conservative, but not particularly religious, (I’m not saying you are, it’s just an example), than you could see if you could transfer to Washington and Lee college.
On the other hand, at most good state flagship universities, there are a wide range of levels of courses, to match the wide range of students who attend these large universities. Flagships have many opportunities for smart kids, as well as opportunities for students who want to continue on to grad school.
Unfortunately, unlike STEM, “prestige” counts for a lot when applying to grad schools in humanitie (and even more so when looking for faculty positions. Also, many of the “top” grad schools in humanities have culture which align with the most common cultures at the “elite” LACs, which is one of the reasons LACs are the biggest feeder schools to PhD programs. So if the culture of your college is similar to the cultures of these grad schools, it may be worth considering staying and learning how to navigate this culture.
As an aside, “lesser” LACs are often just as big feeder schools to grad school as the more selective ones, or even bigger. So don’t worry about transferring to a lower ranked LAC at which you will feel more comfortable.
When I mentioned “prestige”, it’s not based on things like USNews rankings, but rankings within the discipline. What humanities field interests you? That would help recommendations for undergrads that increase your chances at being accepted to grad school in the humanities.
My sister transferred from a top LAC, and tops in her major(s), to a flagship. Loved every minute at her second school. She honestly just couldn’t afford the LAC and couldn’t afford to keep up with the Jones (or really the Rockefellers and Vanderbilts) at the LAC. Her fit was much better at the flagship.
If YOU look at it as a downgrade, it will be. If YOU embrace the new school for everything it offers, it will be a good decision for you.
Another option is to take a semester at another school without withdrawing from the LAC you currently attend. Most schools have exchange agreements or would let you take credits and transfer them back. Go speak to the exchange people. One issue might be the FA as you have to be enrolled in a degree seeking program to get federal aid and usually state or school aid. My daughter’s (big public) school would allow a semester at another school and the student would pay whichever tuition was cheaper and still get the FA from that school. ie, she could have gone to her own state flagship and paid that tuition which was cheaper than where she was, but kept her aid from the OOS flagship she attended.
"I would also hate to wait a year and then end up at my state university anyway because I would have spent a lot of money that could have been saved. "
Just how much money is it that you would save by transferring sooner? Have you run that by your parents and/or whoever else it is who is helping pay for your education?
Generally speaking, it makes best sense to finish up a full year because you will have more time to get to know the professors who will write your letters of recommendation, you will have completed courses that run for two semesters making it more likely that credits transfer and Gen Ed requirements for the target institution(s) are met. However, if your whole family is going into hock for your education and the financials are untenable, getting out sooner rather than later is what you might need to do.
@believe987. I went to my state flagship, majored in a humanities discipline, and got into a number of fine graduate programs with funding. It can be done! In my case the university was very strong in my discipline. Make sure to research the particulars about your chosen major at the state school and ask about placement.
Some students dissatisfied with their four year schools transfer to community colleges, to complete inexpensively pre-transfer requirements for the colleges they really want to transfer to.
Of course, that option depends on how good your home state community colleges are.
Yes, that, and which state of residency you are from.
As a practical matter, many transfer students find that state universities in their states of residency are among the more transfer-friendly targets.
As long as you can feel that you will be reasonably happy at your state flagship then I would say to transfer. You shouldn’t have to suffer through the next three years. Without knowing the State it’s hard to get too specific…in MN, the top LAC is Carleton. The flagship, U of MN, is a reasonable alternative, and in some cases better, than Carleton. If you are at, say, Williams or Amherst and your flagship is UMass Amherst there is a bigger disparity in quality/prestige, but again, it matters what faculty you are talking about. UMass CS is very good, for instance.
If you are a person who is quite social, wants lot of choices, doesn’t need a lot of hand holding, and is able to do well in large groups, then a State flagship can be just the thing. Small schools can be great, but also claustrophobic, particularly if they are out in the country.
One story…I have a relative who is a tenured Ivy league prof. He did his undergrad at a very ordinary State flagship(We’re not talking Michigan, or anything close to it). He excelled there, went on to a top grad school, and the rest is history.
Have you spoken to anyone at your current school about your dissatisfaction? Your RA, Student Services, your advisor, anyone? Your current school wants you to be happy there. They know the social aspect of college is as important as the academic. Reach out to them. I know you think there’s nothing they can do. Give them a try anyway.
Whether you stay or go, that is an unhelpful - and unrealistic- metric. College is not HS, and while you may have been “completely happy” in HS*, life only goes forward.
(tbh, I don’t believe that anybody is *completely happy for all 4 years of HS, but that is another conversation!),
