This is my first post so I don’t know if this is in the right place/sorry if I come off whiny.
This is my second semester at a big ten university majoring in Mathematics. I pulled off a 4.0 GPA and made it onto the deans list this past semester. However, I am extremely miserable, and I am questioning whether I can make it another semester/ 2 more years after this. I also went to a community college for PSEO for two years and also had a 4.0. I was a lot happier at the community college, but I don’t see why it is so different from where I am currently.
My dad has been fighting cancer for 3 years now, and I live at home to help take care of my three younger siblings. I don’t have a job currently which is making it hard to pay for college. I did work 40 hours a week while doing PSEO but the most credits I took was 15.
I am taking 16 credits next semester, which is the most I have ever taken (I guess I am a whimp, last semester I took 13 credits) and I just don’t know if it is worth sticking it out. I have loved all of my math classes so far, but I am afraid to be taking my last calculus course, an upper division math course, accounting, and computer science next semester. I am afraid that I am going to lose my scholarship because my PSEO GPA didn’t carry over. I know getting a grade less then an A isn’t the end of the world, but it is the only thing I can control in my life so it feels like the end of the world.
If I am this unhappy should I be considering dropping out, or could I be selling myself short? At the very least I just needed to get this off my chest.
You have a 4.0 GPA and you are worried about your GPA dropping to lose a scholarship (what GPA do you need to maintain to renew it?)?
If you need to take time off, be sure to withdraw properly (preferably after the completion of a full semester) so that you can be easily readmitted (and possibly retain your scholarship eligibility) when you are ready to return. Do not just drop out without notice, causing your in-progress courses to turn into F grades.
It is possible that you may need to seek mental health assistance.
I need a 3.5 to maintain my scholarship, but I am just not sure if I can do it because I only have 13 credits worth of 4.0. I am completely burntout and have zero motivation. I have been watching my father die so I just can’t focus on school. I will keep in mind to withdraw properly if that is what I decide to do.
It sounds like you have a lot going on and a break would be really needed. Talk to your school and see if a semester off is possible without a full clean cut withdrawal: it sounds like your major is fine but school itself is what you need a break from.
Also, you’d need under a 3.1 to even be put on probation for your scholarship, and most schools give you a semester to bring your GPA back up - with a 4.0 you’re fine. It sounds like you don’t need to be told grades aren’t everything, but perhaps focusing on other things will help keep that in your head so it doesn’t feel like the only thing you have control of. Use the break semester to maybe organize and collect your thoughts and plan for your return, not just to school but your future.
I don’t think you should drop out - but a semester off should be very doable and helpful it sounds like.
First of all, kudos to you for maintaining a 4.0 while attending school full-time, working and caring for younger siblings. That’s a lot on your plate and you should feel proud!
I think the question is - why are you miserable? Do you dislike the major or the courses, or do you just feel overwhelmed? It doesn’t sound like the major since you love all your math classes. If it’s because you feel overwhelmed, don’t feel like a wimp. You are doing a LOT. 12 credits is a full-time load at most schools, so 13-16 is plenty even for students who don’t work and don’t help take care of their siblings.
I wouldn’t be afraid of losing the scholarship - you have a 4.0 currently, and you’d have to fall pretty far to lose it. However, if you are feeling overwhelmed, could you drop to less than full-time? Maybe take only 13 credits or even drop down to 10, if that helps. Likely if you are in a scholarship program there is someone you can talk to - the manager of the program or a professor/advisor. Go to that person and explain your predicament. It is far better to give programs like these the heads up than to struggle and explain later.
You should also explore why you feel so unhappy. You could be depressed (which would be completely understandable, given that your father is fighting cancer and you have to care for your siblings) or it could be due to the major or the work, but buried in a way you can’t understand. If you attend a Big 10 university, I’m betting that your student health insurance covers some mental health counseling appointments. Go to the counseling center and make an appointment to speak with someone. Talking with a counselor can help you figure out why you are unhappy and make a plan for how to fix it.
Good luck. You sound like a very smart and thoughtful student. Don’t get down on yourself. You can get through this - but you don’t have to do it alone. Reach out for help!
@julliet had really good advice. Do go to the counseling center and talk to your advisor. Find out how many credits you need to take to be considered full time. You can still start with 16 and then drop a course or two within drop period once you get a sense of the classes and a feel for how much work each will be. Keep your load light and manageable.
I would discourage you from taking a leave completely. A light load could be a good distraction from the unfortunate situation you are dealing with. You sound like a wonderful S/D and sister/brother. Give yourself a lot of credit.
If you truly feel you can’t handle school right now, however, then by all means take a break. Just be sure to do so in a way that protects your scholarship for a return.
In addition to talking to the counseling center, make an appt with the Dean of Students. You want to make sure you are on track but also are aware of all the rules of the college…you don’t want to drop out without notifying them, etc.