<p>Ok, so I know it's a national issue, etc., but I was warned (in fact, by a parent at a revisit who was planning to send his fourth child to this school) that the school my daughter will be attending (not naming it right now, but it is the same school as above) has had some widespread issues with anorexia/bulimia among their female students. After this, and as part of our family discussions about which school she would ultimately attend, I had talks with my daughter. We came to a "family pact" about eating correctly, nourishing her body as well as her mind at school. She is an decent athlete and overweightness does not run in our family, and because of these factors, she has never had an ounce of fat extra on her. But like many many girls her age, she aims for the some elusive feminine ideal and so I thought it was definitely a topic I should address head on with her. She is 13 and will be entering 9th grade right after she turns 14.</p>
<p>So what's the skinny, if you will, on this anorexia issue? More prevalent at some schools? Widespread? More common at highly competitive schools where "perfection" is a generally accepted standard imposed on the girls by themselves? Sigh - in our mixed-up messages to girls via the media, perfection somehow has come to include unnatural thinness and self-denial. I just also wonder if anybody will notice (the way I would notice at home) if my daughter started getting "too" thin, or stopped eating a healthy amount of food, and whether this could spiral quickly out of control more easily at boarding school.</p>
<p>Sorry this got so long. Anecdotal or hard information appreciated.</p>
<p>My D is not at one of the highly competitive schools, so I cannot testify to their situation, but at my D's school, the girls in her dorm do not seem to be waif thin. My own D is on the muscular side (5'5" 130 lbs) and definitely does not have an eating disorder. I only wish my DW would send more nutritious things in the care packages.</p>
<p>I know the advisors at her school eat at least 1 meal with their advisees a week and from what I hear keep an eye out for kids who don't eat right. Now that doesn't mean they can keep track of bulemics, but by and large they keep pretty close tabs on their charges.</p>
<p>Now the interesting thing that my D tells me about at her school is that when the students return from break, typically the students bowel habits change for a few weeks (loosening). She suspects the cafeteria staff is adding psyllium (sp) to the food someplace. After a week or 2, everyone adjusts though.</p>
<p>I think that if you are worried, (and it sounds like you do have a little concern) finding out what adult (advisor/teacher/etc) eats with your daughter from time to time and ask what she has been eating. I am assuming that your D's school has occasional formal (assigned seating) dinners where students and staff sit together.</p>
<p>That's an interesting point. I have a few thoughts on it. Eating disorders are more common among competitive, achieving girls, and also there is a higher occurance of it in higher income familes. So you would find both of those at boarding school, but also at many day schools and public schools in high income towns. I have heard that eating disorders can be "contagious" that is, once a few people start doing it, others start as well. So that might be one troublesome factor against boarding school.</p>
<p>I read that the US Naval Academy had a problem recently with its female midshipmen having eating disorders. It's interesting, because girls who choose this life for themselves are usually not the kind who put beauty first and foremost, but instead have other goals in their lives; very academic and athletically oriented. Yet, this eating disorder problem hit them as welll. The author of the article I read on it mentioned that it was probably an issue of control--they could control so little in their lives at Annapolis, that at least they could control their eating themeslves.</p>
<p>I also believe they have found that eating disorders have a mental health component. It's a topic I am interested in. I've had several friends with eating disorders, and now I'm the mother of a daughter myself, so it's a topic I'm trying to follow.</p>
<p>I have no specific information. My daughter is at Miss Porters. The food is standard institutional - pretty bland. There is a salad bar that is popular with many. She has not shared any stories of eating disorders. All of the dorms have postings about healthy eating and encourage the girls to watch out for their peers.</p>
<p>Thanks for the insights goaliedad. You're right, I do have some concerns and your advice is well taken. Her school does have, I believe, two meals per week with faculty - that's great thinking to be in touch with them. I knew I would still be able to be a helicopter mom from a distance of hundreds of miles. Heh heh. J/K.</p>
<p>Eating disorders have a genetic component. If there is no family history of eating disorders, mood disorders or anxiety disorders (eating disorders are closely tied to obsessive compulsive disorder), it is unlikely that your child will develop one. This is true for other mental illnesses as well. What is important is that the school is aware of how they manifest, and are willing to connnect with parents and get help.</p>
<p>I know at Exeter there is problems.My best friends sister went there and their mom swears she is scarred for life. I guess it depends how strong their personality is and the decisions they make.</p>
<p>I can't say that anorexia is hyper prevalent at Choate. A lot of girls are naturally thin, but some tend to worry too much about food, not to the extent of anorexia, but like "Oh I'm just having water, a piece of chicken, and an apple for lunch." Also, the comment that anorexia is much more of a problem among high acheiving girls and higher income families is very true. A common problem associated with eating disorders that is highly prevalent at the highly competitive BS's is perfectionism, i.e. a student cannot accept strengths/weaknesses but must be absolutely perfect in every aspect. I am terribly guilty of this myself (and I am a guy) and it's only made my life worse. If one is really self confident, then this won't be a problem, but BS, especially the top ones, can take an excellent student/overacheiver and make them feel average very quickly.</p>
<p>Hmm.. I would think that it would be more common at co-ed schools because the opposite-sex pressure.. and that at girls' schools, maybe they would relax a bit. But maybe not. We can be catty and competitive in a very subtle way.. maybe girls' schools aren't that nurturing then? I think that's what this might hint at.</p>
<p>it obviously depends on the school, but my school is having a problem with this, i think it may be partly because of the standards imposed on girls, the girls that are considered hot are the girls with the eating disorders so that doesn't help.</p>
<p>high pressure boarding schools definitely foster an environment in which lots of girls turn to controlling their food as a way to feel in control of something. it's all about teaching your daughter how to deal with pressure, not try to be perfect, and respect being healthy</p>
<p>I don't think a "family pact" can have a tremendous effect on preventing eating disorders. Perhaps the educational aspect, open communication, and show of support could help. However, eating disorders are insidious and complex diseases with multiple root causes. Genetics, family, friendship groups, societal pressure - dynamics in these arenas and more can combine to predispose a person to anorexia or bulimia. </p>
<p>Teenagers who are weight proportionate can still be suffering from an eating disorder. Bulimia can go on for some time without being detected.</p>
<p>I would be surprised if eating disorders were more prevalent at boarding schools. They exist in alarming numbers at competitive public and day schools as well.</p>
<p>I think who you are when goign into baording school rly defiens if you will or will not have an eating disorder. For me at least I think that atheltes (except for dance btu thats not rly a sport) are less susceptible to eating disorders. I have witnessed a couple peopel with eating disorders such as anorexia but i think the bigger problem is poor eating (pasta and ereal all the time). I think the best thing you can do is eat healthly. Whatever you do dont criticize other peoepl on whatthey eat even if they do have poor diets its none of your buisness and sayign somethign will probably lead them to anorexia.</p>
<p>Regarding athletes, at our local high school the girl's track coach has been accused of encouraging his athletes to strive toward certain body parameters which indirectly encourage eating disorders.</p>