I can see how at high school or college level it makes sense for a lot of parents to (try to) send their kids to posh private schools such as Exeter, Andover, Choate Rosemary, Peddie, Horace Mann, Hotchkiss, Sidwell Friends and the like for high schools or the Ivy League and Stanford for college level. However, how is it with elementary school or junior high?
I am asking because I was wondering how other parents would view this. Does it matter at elementary school level? In movies you can see how rich parents send their kids even to kindergartens where the kids learn Chinese and other crazy stuff… but I guess this is vastly exaggerated, right?
Also, I was wondering if you know of some rich and famous people and what kind of elementary school education they pursued?
I know, for example, that Bill Gates’ daughter went to the private high school where her father had gone to already and later on she went onto Stanford, but I have no idea about the elementary school education.
Or, Donald Trump’s children all went to posh private high schools and, later on, to private colleges and universities, but does anyone know about the elementary school education?
Where would rich people send their children for elementary school education? State or private? Or does it not matter at this level? Where did you send your kids for elementary school and where did they continue for high school and college?
This is a personal family decision. You need to consider what would be appropriate for YOUR child…and it doesn’t matter what other famous people or even your neighbors are doing.
My husband’s whole family went to private schools all the way from elementary through college…because that’s what worked for them.
My whole family went to public schools all the way…because that’s what worked for us.
IMHO - what your child learns and the learning skills he/she picks up in elementary are what your child builds the rest of their education off of. We happily sent our kid to private elementary knowing that she would go to public middle/high school, because the private elementary set her up for success down the road. Even in high school our daughter would comment that the Latin units in upper elementary were helping her in high school. My wife and I both commented multiple times how the private school made her a better learner which allowed her to get more out of high school.
Our mantra was, “every $1 spent in K-5 is worth $2 come college time”
I agree that this is a personal decision and you need to do what works for your family. It does not matter what famous people do. FWIW I know of a local public school where several very famous people sent their children.
Both of my kids attended K-12 public schools and I would do it again. One attended a public college followed by private grad school. The other attends a public university.
The private schools where celebrities and presidents send their children aren’t your everyday private schools. And, I imagine that other factors play into their decisions besides the quality of education. For example, I believe Chelsea Clinton went to public school in Arkansas and was placed in Sidwell Friends partly due to security reasons. Amy Carter went to public school in Georgia and DC. The Bush twins attended public elementary school when they lived in Dallas. Now, for us “common” people, there are good and bad private schools and there are good and bad public schools. There are plenty of kids in my hometown who go to public schools all the way and end up at top colleges.
Interestingly my nephew went to Sidwell Friends for elementary school while my kid went to a public school. They were both math whizzes. My kid’s school was much more amenable to providing differentiated work and eventually having him attend math several grades above his actual grade. SF had the attitude that all the kids were smart. They discouraged kids from doing the talent searches so my nephew did not get to participate in CTY which was the best thing my kid did in middle school.
That said, all public schools are not created equal. You need a good enough school. If you have a very advanced kid you need to be in a system where there are at least enough kids around to provide your kid some intellectual stimulation. My kid did not find math buddies until middle school (MathCounts thank you!) and that was hard, but he did find kids who read the same books and played the same games. Our public high school on paper did not look that good. SAT average scores were very average and there were too many kids falling between the cracks, but there was also a decent sized group of kids who were smart and motivated. They offered 22 AP classes and for the most part kids did very well on the APs.
At some places, pre-K and K-5 or 6 are feeder schools for some top high schools, and it is especially the case in cities like NY.
Both of my kids went to private school from Pre-K to high school and then college. I didn’t do it because chance of being with famous people. As a matter of fact, my kid’s school didn’t like to admit famous people’s kids due to security.
My kids went to public school through 12th grade…and both went to private colleges.
@oldfort makes a good point about what is the case in certain areas. Here…in my area of CT, there are a lot of options for private prep high schools…but not very many options for prek- grade 8.
We live within easy commuting distance of Loomis, Hotchkiss, Taft, Westminster. All HS programs. The only private day school within a reasonable commute is Renbrook in West Hartford.
A funny story…There was a beverage tycoon whose kids from the first wife all went my kids’ school, then he got remarried to a beautiful new wife with a new set of kids. His younger kids were not admitted to the school due to their low test scores.
We sent our S to (supposedly strict) private school for K to learn some structure. Big mistake - turned out to be too much structure, too little flexibility (even bathroom trips were scheduled on the fixed times - for 5-year olds!). Public school for his 1st grade: wonderful teacher, relaxed yet structured atmosphere, learning 2-yrs worth in a year. After that we didn’t experiment with private schools any more for both S and D.
However, the rest of the elementary and middle school for both S and D was pretty bleak. Sure, there were some good teachers but they couldn’t do much because they were required to stick to the district-approved curriculum (and no grade jumping!) and my kids (along with a good half of their class) were well beyond that level. It did get much better in (public) HS.
Another anecdote from a relative with a kid in public K: a boy is extremely talented. They were doing some very simple additions at school. After doing some thinking at home, the boy “invented” multiplication! He was drawing some other symbol for a sign, though. The teacher at school not only completely failed to see that the boy is bored to death (adding 1s and 2s for the whole year), she referred them for psychologist to see if the kid is ready (!) for 1st grade because he is not paying attention in class - like there was something worth paying attention to.
My conclusion for our district (a very good district feeding into HS which is top-of-the-line) is if you have bright kids (I don’t even mean geniuses - just bright) and IF you can afford it, consider either private or homeschooling for elementary+middle. Choose the private school carefully. Regular classes in public schools go so slow that there is barely any learning going on except for how to deal with boredom. Especially beware the “common core” curriculums in public school districts - they are even more watered down to the level no sane person can imagine.
We live in a mid-sized university town in the midwest. While some parents send their kids to Montessori or a religious school, the vast majority send their kids to the local public schools. We did the latter, and my kids turned out perfect! Well, that’s just a hyperbolic figure of speech. But my point is that if you have high quality public schools (and in our case also within walking distance from home), there is no harm at all in sending your kids to the same ones that most of their neighborhood kids are going to. My kids ended up attending “elite” colleges. But they’d have done well attending our public universities. My kids grew up with a lot of interesting and talented friends who they also interacted with in local sports, music, and art activities. And some of these are lifelong friends with whom they remain in touch even well after college, and even though they may live at opposite ends of the country.
Some of the well-known private schools used to be for an aristocracy that barely exists anymore, and has been replaced by wealth, which is different. Therefore, the atmosphere may have changed, from what I have heard. At any rate before the 60’s, people, especially men, went to private elementary schools through 9th grade, then a prestigious boarding school, then an Ivy, then Wall Street or law or whatever.
I went to privates and did well, but the academic stress at a young age had a big impact. I sent my kids to a mediocre public all the way through so they could develop without that stress. The privates in our area have a lot of homework and kids barely have a chance to know themselves. Without a lot of homework, my kids read a lot and pursued “passions” outside of school which did, actually, get some of them into top schools, ironically.
That said, my youngest might have benefited from a small and personalized private, if we could have afforded it.
Think about your kids and what helps them grow in a healthy way. Obviously this also involves looking into the public and private schools available. Pay attention to “vibe” as well as substance.
Also, there is something to be said for being part of your community. I grew up feeling like an outsider in my town.
We had the resources to pay for private K-12, and did. Small class sizes and an environment with a lot of hands in learning seemed like a worthwhile investment to us. If we had lived in a better school district, we might have sent them to public schools, though.
In my mind it all boils down to a matter of: 1) what is the quality of the public school option; and 2) if the public school option is not strong, can the parents afford private school.
For example many parents in NYC are not satisfied with the public schools for various reasons and have the resources to send their kids to private schools where they feel their kids will get a better education. In contrast others live in places with excellent public schools and choose to go the public school route through HS even if private schools are affordable.
Vance Packard’s 1959 book The Status Seekers describes this school process, noting that while the inherited-wealth elite sent their sons to private boarding schools that were favored feeders for HYP, those colleges maintained their academic reputations with public school students who were actually strong students (the scions of the inherited-wealth elite tended to be satisfied with “gentleman’s C” grades).
Obviously, things have changed since then. HYP are now coed, the private high schools in question now emphasize academics much more, and the strong favoritism for the inherited-wealth elite has been reduced somewhat to donation and legacy preferences in admissions, where the legacy applicants now have to meet high academic standards.
My parents sent me to private Montessori kindergarten then public Montissori 1-6th. It worked well for me because I was a smart kid but independent and not one to sit still. They were worried I’d get in constant trouble at a stricter school lol.
Another factor to consider is that most of the top tier/competitive prep schools take only limited number of new students at the beginning of middle school and high school. At other grades you can only get in due to attrition. It is a lot easier to get in at the beginning of elementary school.
If the public schools are overcrowded and poorly funded, then maybe a compelling case can be made for an alternative. However, another approach to this problem is to vote with your feet by moving to a different community with better public schools (even if this means a longer commute for Mom and/or Dad).
And sometimes people choose private schools for a short period of time only.
In our neighborhood, there was a period of about 5 years when there was massive overcrowding at our middle school (the kind that required as many as 14 portable classrooms) because the community was waiting for a new middle school to be built. Both of my kids went through middle school during this period. We didn’t consider alternatives because the kids had no unusual needs, and we felt they could cope with the situation. But there were other families who sent their kids to private schools for middle school only (even though they had gone to public elementary schools and would later go to a public high school) because they felt that their kids wouldn’t do well in the large classes and impersonal atmosphere of a massively overcrowded school.
I’m all for different teaching teaching strategies or pedagogic methods. Charter schools were primarily created in order to try different pedagogic methods even though now-a-days most are just alternatives to perceived bad public schools. My children attended a Spanish Immersion public Charter school and my oldest just finished at a public high school with a project-based curriculum. We also looked at different privates with some different pedagogic methods including a Democratic school.
If you have alternatives like these in your area I believe it’s worth exploring to see if you think they are right for your children.
