Private school isn't always the best!

Parent Cafe
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<p>I know I'm not making many friends saying this, but I feel it needs to be said: your "gifted"child doesn't need to go to private school to get a good education! In fact, I've talked to kids who went to private schools and said they felt like a lot of kids just bought their way into the schools. I know most private school kids aren't like this (I'm not trying to fight stereotype with stereotype here), but the way some people here talk, you'd think everyone who went to private school was just the absolute cream of crop in everything. I've been public schooled my whole life, and as a senior, I think I've gotten a good education. Some of my AP teachers have been brillant, dynamic challenging teachers, and IK've received a first rate Japanese education that I know most private schools couldn't offer. I know they are some not so great teachers as well, but that goes for any school and if yoiu want good ones, they are usually there to be sought out.</p>

<p>I don't want to burn any bridges here with the people who have helped me so much, but this "My kid is so gifted; he must go to private school" attitude kind of irks.</p>

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<p>Wolfpiper:</p>

<p>I agree with you! There are some terrific public schools and some that are not so great can be flexible enough to address the needs of gifted students. Meanwhile, some private schools can be inflexible. Their curriculum might be slightly more advanced than that of the local public schools, but this little bit of advancement may not be sufficient for the truly gifted student. We should not generalize.</p>

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<p>If it were possible to send my kids to public school here I would have. However the public schools in our city are downright dangerous so private was the only alternative.</p>

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<p>I'm with kyedor. Our public schools are truly terrible. They are overcrowded and lacking in funds. Our choice to use private schools (which turned into boarding school) really didn't stem from thinking our kids were "gifted". We were simply trying to offer them the best education we could. In our case, this required private schooling. I think there are a lot of advantages to public school, but there are many things that private schools can provide that public schools can't. As with everything, there are trade-offs.</p>

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<p>It all depends on local circumstances. I'm 100 percent a public school alumnus (kindergarten through law school) and I used to think that private school students were un-American or something. But I gradually met a variety of friends who attended private schools over a variety of different parts of their educations, and I have to say, again, it just depends. My family is homeschooling four children right now to have the FLEXIBILITY to fit the needs of all our children. I am looking at "prep" boarding schools for my oldest--and also early college, and also homeschooling--to see what will fit him for next year. If you have found a local public school that does a good job for you, great. If some other family sends a child to private school, great. Let's make sure parents are at liberty to decide these issues one child at a time, based on adequate opportunity to shop among varying schools.</p>

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<p>The OP seemed to come out of nowhere. My kids went to a private school for the academically gifted, you couldn't buy your way in (unless an unscrupulous psychologist faked the IQ test) and even if their parents "helped" (i.e. tutors, pushing) eventually if they weren't making it they were asked to leave. If our public school had been willing to accelerate and differentiate my kids' education, I would have had them stay there. But their old school's idea of an appropriate education for my son was to let him read books he brought from home in class and for my daughter was to let her help the other kids in class. Our school didn't go through 12th grade, so we had to go find a suitable school. I chose a private school because it has the flexibility to do acceleration and grouping for math and foreign language, and with honors and AP classes, there are enough challenging courses. The rich kids can stay in their regular classes and my poor but smart kids can be in the advanced classes and everyone's happy. I could have given them a gifted education at a magnet HS, but then they'd have thirty kids in a class and teachers that couldn't be fired. In private school, they have ten to fifteen in a class and teachers with doctorates who have to prove themselves every year. For me, it's money well spent.</p>

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<p>Lets be honest here...Most of the better public (not competitive to get in) schools, are extremely well funded and in extremely affluent burbs. They in a sense, more private and exclusive than most private schools</p>

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<p>Are you saying that to be rich is to be intelligent and concerned about education? Is that what you are saying?</p>

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<p>FloridaToNYC, actually we live in an affluent area and no one in the neighborhood sends their kids to public school past elementary. It burns me up that we pay high property taxes yet can't send our kids to public school. Thankfully I signed my kids up at their excellent private school at age three (also happens to be within walking distance) so we avoided the middle school "interviews and applications". Ugh, the preschool interviews were stressfull enough! I only had to buy one Laura Ashley outfit LOL!</p>

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<p>Not all wealthy surburban communities have superior schools. But those really top notch attendance by boundry high schools that exist, i.e. Edgemont H.S. _Scarsdale, Jefferson --Fairfax County,etc. are in wealthy coomunites that have used tax dollars to build prep school quality public schools.</p>

<p>I would as a generalization the follwing pecking order holds:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Wealthy people can have public but like prep quality schools.</p></li>
<li><p>Wealthy & connected people can send kids to elite prep schools.</p></li>
<li><p>Less wealthy but upper middle class can send kids to elite prep when kids are exceptional, Otherwise can send kids decent private orbetter than averagepublic. Minute amount of minorities in this category.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>4 Most americans can send kids to public schools from so-so to better than so-so or more affordable private or religious. More minorities in this group.</p>

<ol>
<li>Peopleat lower endof economic strata get lower end schools.period.
Majority of minorities in this group. Competitive entrance schools, charter schools, provide some relief here.</li>
</ol>

<p>There of course are exceptions, but these are the rules.</p>

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<p>Look, as someone who goes to public schools, the parents on here really push private schools, but all wolfpiper is saying is public schools can give a good education too. Some parents seem so wrapped up in "my child is gifted, they are special" that they see no other choice but private schools. I in no way have had a deficient education as a result of public schools.</p>

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<p>There are so many conflated arguments in here! Many parents choose to send their children to private schools because the public schools are unsafe or overcrowded. That's nothing to do with the children being gifted or not. Wolfpiper specifically talked of posters who urge parents of gifted children to send their children to private schools in preference to public schools as a matter of general principle. That is totally different from the issue of safety or size.</p>

<p>I happen to agree with Wolfpiper, having decided against sending my S to a private school not because of cost but because I did not think the private schools were any more flexible than our public school (by no means one of the top 100). Having a curriculum that was one or even two grades above that of our public school but no offering math and science beyond 12th grade would not have suited my S. His public school allowed him the flexibility to take college classes. </p>

<p>Not all private schools are of the caliber of Exeter or Andover, not all public schools are in inner cities. That, basically, was what Wolfpiper was arguing.</p>

<p>Celebrian, you got it!</p>

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<p>i am very much pro public despite being one incident when i was randomly punched, and witnessing a stabbing in the hall. the experiences i got in high school gave me a perspective that i dont think any private school student gets except maybe inner city kids that are plucked from the ghetto. our country is led by private school kids who have no idea what is really going on in this country because theyve been separated from the masses for as long as they can remember. so maybe you think people selling drugs in class hampers education, i think it enhances it. my school had plenty of APs and is IB and in my sisters class sent four kids to harvard and has ivy league acceptances every year.</p>

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<p>You simply cannot generalize, because almost every city has a different situation.</p>

<p>DH and I are completely products of public schools. He had a truly excellent education at a socio-economically, culturally, racially and ethnically diverse high school in Alabama in the 70s - an amazing unusual place that produced a number of highly successful, productive people, including a Pulitzer Prize winner. My public school was just the opposite - small, underfunded, overcrowded, poor, all white, forgotten. Neither school would be recognizeable as itself today.</p>

<p>When I interviewed for my job (my oldest was 2, my youngest, wasn't), and asked about the schools, I was told, "Of course they'll go to private school", and I was told about the private schools in town. At the time, I thought we'll see about that, but they ended up at private schools - every situation is different. In our city, there is no one place to live in town where your child can go to their zoned school for 12 years and be assured a safe, quality education. The "best", most academically rigorous eduation in the city is probably in the public schools, but you have to transport your child yourself, get a waiver, and have the child apply to the program and be accepted. </p>

<p>Sure, the private school has problems - my kids have told stories about sex, drugs and rock n roll at school - the difference is how the problems are handled. Alcohol is rampant, but they are slowly making inroads on that front as well. The school is not as diverse as the public schools - but that is more a function of poverty than discrimination - this school only costs $7000 a year. My kids have had friends who were Japanese, Korean, German, Af-Am, African Jewish, Hindu and Baptist. Some kids' parents struggle to come up with that $7000, a few have scholarships, and some have millions. It is not perfect, but it is the best choice for kids, and I am grateful that I can give them this opportunity.</p>

<p>This reminds me of when Bill Clinton was first elected president, and the furor over where Chelsea would go to school erupted. There was much gnashing of teeth about his support from the NEA, and the decision to send her to private school. My thought was how about walking in their shoes a minute. The politically expedient thing would be to make her education a political statement - how about send her to public school for a couple of months, then quietly withdraw her to a private school - that would be pretty cynical. They did have the ?courage, ?sense, whatever, to say her education and safety comes first. Your convictions, and what is best for your child in the situation they are i, may be very different.</p>

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<p>I totally agree with the OP. In fact, we moved our D from a local, quite well regarded, prep school to the local public HS starting 9th grade. It was the best move she ever made. She had more support, more flexibility, a better peer group and we parents saved a fortune that we now use for college.</p>

<p>I think it important to note that we really need to distinguish between primary years and secondary years. Given that most public schools advocate, one way or another, a "one size fits all" approach in the primary years, one may indeed find a higher aim point leading to a better education in a private school. But this advantage goes away in HS, as there is not a public HS in the country that does not practice some sort of tracking (by subject) in HS. This allows kids to more accurately fit their abilities and interests to the curricula at a public school. Given the generally smaller size, a prep HS will usually offer at most two tracks, in sciences, a conventional and AP, for example. And given size constraints, one may not even be able to logistically fit in all of interest.</p>

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<p>Wolfpiper--I totally agree with you, and yet I am currently sending my kids to a private highschool. Don't have time to go into it right now, but one of the differences is the fighting/bullying that goes on at the local public on a daily basis. I asked my daughter if she ever saw a fight at her private (Catholic school) and her reply was the only time she saw a fight in high school was the day she visited the local public HS! </p>

<p>Even so, the Catholic school has a couple of weaknesses that have me really undecisive about what to do with my middle schooler who will start high school in a couple of years. The band/orchestra teacher apparently drinks heavily and the drama teacher tells his students how stupid they are--guess what my middleschooler's passions are?--yep, music and drama. We may be back at the chaotic/overcrowed public with her in a couple of years. The other choice is to move, I guess!</p>

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<p>Idyllwild is pretty close and it is private.......<a href="http://www.idyllwildarts.org/%5B/url%5D"&gt;www.idyllwildarts.org/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

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<p>"Are you saying that to be rich is to be intelligent and concerned about education? Is that what you are saying?"</p>

<p>Being rich means that you have choices about educating your children. Sometimes those choices mean private school. Sometimes it means buying and living in an area with excellent public schools.</p>

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<p>
[quote]
**Lets be honest here...Most of the better public (not competitive to get in) schools, are extremely well funded and in extremely affluent burbs. They in a sense, more private and exclusive than most private schools

[/quote]
**</p>

<p>My post was really a question to the post by FloridatoNYC......I guess their point was that many folks cannot choose to buy in a affluent suburb? Thus making those publics more selective of population.......but how does this opine assess quality. I understand that disposable wealth allows for choices.....which cost higher payment in one form or another.</p>

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<p>You can get a scholarship to attend a private school- if the school has economic diversity as a value and many do.</p>

<p>However if you want to send your children to Lexington- where 93% of students attend public schools( in our city a maximum of 68% attend public schools- and we have 40% students on subsidized lunch)-and the median price of homes are $430,000- you are going to have to afford it on your own.</p>

<p>( Just checked the map- in some areas of town- less than 40% attend public schools- of course these are some of the wealthiest neighborhoods- where the local schools are well supported- but they still utilize the option to go private. This choice of course is up to the families- but when families are lower income- they have fewer choices- and the public schools can't meet all the need)</p>