<p>I knew that my D's final high school musical would be an emotional time for all the reasons you MT moms know so well. As I put on makeup the day of the opening performance, I laughed to myself, knowing that mascara was sure to be running down my face later that afternoon. It's hard not to get emotional watching a handsome six-foot-two young man, who used to be this pudgy little kid from down the block, now effortlessly lift your daughter into the air and then pull her into a passionate on-stage embrace.
Surprisingly, I made it through the first show with my mascara intact, possibly because I was seeing a lot of it through the lens of a video camera, which takes away some of the real-ness of the moment. Then, this morning, I decided to pop in a bunch of unlabelled tapes I had in my disorganized camera bag. That was when I lost it.
As I watched highlights of the last four years of shows, I saw a girl with a radiant smile move up from the ensemble to a featured role to the lead--not an unusual progression by any means, and something that one would think we would all be happy about. But something is missing in this year's video. I saw true happiness on her face in the early years--a reflection of the sheer joy of simply being in a show. That joy has now been replaced with a new seriousness. Part of it is simply being a senior and growing older, I guess, and being ready to move on. But part of it is being determined to pursue your passion with the odds stacked against you...being sure you're making the right decision while hoping someone else thinks you're worthy of that decision...putting everything on the line.
I'm grateful that I have lived to see the wonderful people that these kids have become. I also miss the younger versions of those kids, as I realize that some of the innocence is gone. As a mom, that's what finally made me cry today.</p>
<p>Thank you for your beautiful post. Next week my D will be in her last HS musical and your words resound with me.</p>
<p>I got teary-eyed last year (when my son was a junior) watching the last show for those seniors. I will definately cry at my son's last showin April. Of course, I don't have to worry about mascara.</p>
<p>-Emotionally Expressive Male</p>
<p>D is only a junior but guess I'll be a real mess next year! No mascara for me! :)</p>
<p>It's tough and elizasMom I know what you mean about the elevation of attitude to serious work. I've seen a dedication to perfection (and she was already a perfectionist to begin with!) developing in the last year that is new.</p>
<p>I do hope to still see the joy and the love of the work on her face - my joy(and tears) will come from seeing her realize her potential and dreams - no matter where that leads her. </p>
<p>MikksMom</p>
<p>I've got tears going down my cheeks because I know we can all relate...and frankly, it is not even just parents of MT kids and definitely not just moms. I've now been through this with two daughters. In senior year, each event was a "last"...last dance show, last musical, last game, last concert, etc. Each time there was a "last" to attend, I was crying. Yep. </p>
<p>Last year was real rough because D2 had to miss many important lasts due to severe injuries. She had been rehearsing her last HS musical in a lead role but had to watch from the audience with me, her first day out of a hospital bed, best friend taking over her role. She is a lifelong dancer and had to miss many dance shows around the region with her repertory troupe and also her final performances for a studio where she had trained most days for ten years. There is even a "senior dance" for any seniors in the selective troupe and there were just three of them in that last year. That was her senior dance, she had finally gotten to that point after watching other girls do it for years. Instead, they had my D sing the song (normally nobody sings live at the dance performance) with her dad accompanying her on guitar as the other two girls danced it. I mean the audience was crying even (they knew she had just survived an ordeal and was lucky to be alive and just to see her actually walk on a stage). So, we missed out on many lasts. I still got to cry at the prom photo shoot before prom, the first day my kid walked again. But any parent of any senior is gonna have these moments. </p>
<p>In fact, one of the many college essays that D2 wrote for her apps, focused on her sister leaving for college that fall. For her privacy, I would never print out her essay. But your post reminds me even of HER observations/feelings even as a sister. Here is a line along that vein: "This past year, murmurs of my sister's college admissions process crescendoed into a never-ending series of "lasts" - M's last ski race, piano recital, feeding of the cat, momentous to petty, until even mundane events carried a sense of finality." These lines are out of context but another one on this same theme: "Gathering at the table with Last Supper-like austerity for her meal of her favorites a la death row convict." So, even sisters (or brothers) experience what us moms and dads do.</p>
<p>It is a bittersweet experience when your kid goes off to college. It is the end of SO much...their upbringing with you, all those experiences and even routines. It's done with. That is really hard on us parents. But it is also SUCH an exciting time because we know inside they are ready for the next stage of life and they have such wonderful adventures ahead. But it is hard for US! (not as hard for them from my observations!)</p>
<p>Although I'm not a mom, I know exactly what you all are going on about. My last school show was last year, but I'm feeling that way with my community theatre group now, even though I'm hoping to do a show there this summer. </p>
<p>But last marching band season was hard. At band camp, back in August, my friends and I cried a good deal, because it was our last band camp. And our last competition was also very teary. It's sad moving on, especially with all the out-of-state mt programs, because I know that even if I do see my high school friends again, they will be rare occasions, and few and far between. I'm definitely going to miss everything.</p>
<p>Thanks for sharing (and the reminder to stock up on some waterproof mascara!) My D's last HS musical isn't until the end of April...but my mind is already preparing my heart to be strong.<br>
I've spent a lot of time (maybe too much) focusing on all the "lasts" of this year....when there is a lifetime of exciting "firsts" coming up!
I love this site - it helps me just knowing that we're sharing similar feelings and experiences with so many other families!</p>
<p>now; I'm glad my daughter's last HS role in May is a comedic one!</p>
<p>How beautiful- you've said it for all of us who have ever watched our youngsters perform. Thank you for sharing.</p>
<p>Well, tonight is my d's last hs show...and I have already had tears the past two nights. Her dearest friends...(who are called the fantastic four)...have been doing school shows since 7th grade. While, unfortunately, this show has not been the best experience..(politics raised it's very ugly head, moral has been down...just not the typical atmosphere for our shows)...she has made the most of it and shines like the star that she is. I could not be more proud of her. So, at 7:30 I will be there, teary eyed, and thankful that this whole experience has been brought into my life.</p>
<p>A couple of years ago a boy from our school who had been the lead many times was in his last musical, I am rather fond of his mom, so I bought a beautiful white towel, wrapped a pretty ribbon around it and gave it to her the last night. She looked at it and said, "A crying towel!" I said, "right". Now I'm going to need my own crying towel in about a month when my S performs for the last time. A small bit of irony (I think) when he got started singing, he did an Elvis thing in the 8th grade, it was very successfull and had the audience on their feet. He's finishing up by playing Pharoh in Joseph, another Elvis charater, I hope he gets them on their feet again, what a great way to go out!</p>
<p>Sooviet, what a tender story about you daughter, singing at the senior dance show. To all of us Moms, I think for we who have these performing kids that this is a particularly powerful transistion.</p>
<p>...just reading these posts...! It is so great to share with all of you in the celebration and closure of such a wonderful chapter in our child's life. We can soon focus on the next exciting chapters to come. I love the towel idea...will probably use it with some friends of mine.</p>
<p>My daughter had her senior recital last night, a graduation requirement at her school, and I spent the better part of the day mentally preparing for the emotions I knew would hit me during her performance. What I hadn't prepared for, and what moved me to tears, was the sheer number and variety of people that showed up. The recital was open to the school, and we also sent out a few invitations to folks from our neighborhood, church, theatre groups, etc. Even with that, we figured there would only be about 30-40 people. We ended up scrambling to set up extra chairs when 120 people showed up...</p>
<p>...the 77-year old woman from our church who begged a neighbor to drive her the hour to my daughter's school so she wouldn't miss the recital;</p>
<p>...the director of my daughter's first "straight" show (The Importance of Being Earnest) whom we hadn't seen in three years;</p>
<p>...my daughter's sophomore English teacher, who married and moved to Chicago, who flew in for the recital;</p>
<p>...the former pastor of our church, who drove 4 1/2 hours to be there; </p>
<p>...one of last year's seniors, now at Bennington, who told me she wouldn't have missed my daughter's recital for anything (although she finally did admit that it was a good thing it coincided with her spring break!);</p>
<p>...several carloads of kids from our hometown who read about the recital on my daughter's online journal and decided to attend; </p>
<p>...and at least 20 people that I didn't know at all (my daughter thinks they were parents of past and current students, but she wasn't even sure!)</p>
<p>We were stunned and humbled by the turnout, and my daughter's room now looks like a florist shop...I quit counting the number of roses when I reached 100! When my daughter was helping me get the flowers in vases this morning, she just kept saying over and over, "I just can't believe this...I just can't believe this." I would never have guessed her singing had touched so many people...</p>
<p>Mezzomom, the evening/event sounds SOOOOOOOOO special!!! Wow. That is really something how all those people from different facets of her life showed up. You're right, she has touched many with her talents and there are more audiences to come. What a lovely experience. So, um, did you have a crying "towel"? (I loved that idea in an earlier post)</p>
<p>When you have kids who perform and you have seen them perform countless times their whole life and then all of a sudden, they leave and you can't be at every single thing like when they lived at home (though do try to get to major performances), it is a HUGE change! I recall just three days before my D left for college in August, her piano teacher of ten years really wanted her to perform a recital for the community as a "final recital" and she did (and she sang some too) and we kept thinking, geez, this will be the last time we see her perform for a while, or particularly the last time locals will. And right now, when I read YOUR post, I'm here waiting with baited breath as my D is on stage at the very moment in NYC and I am awaiting the results of this competition and it is so yucky not being there. I could have traveled to go (I saw the round prior to this a few weeks ago) but she has crew all weekend and I would not have seen her so I didn't make the journey. But just saying, it is tough when they are away and you are not at every little thing they do! </p>
<p>Best wishes to your D on a final local recital but not her final by far :).</p>
<p>I try to glance at most pages of CC, but this one is almost too hard to read for this mom of a senior! You've moved me to tears. I'm crying at everything these days. I've always cried when my son has performed in shows, but now it is worse - every time someone mentions anything about graduation or him going away, I cry. My son works at the dance studio reception desk on Saturdays and has gotten to know all the moms who drive their kids there and often hang out. Today when I took lunch to him, one of the moms who was there said, "We'll really miss Eric next year." I teared up to the point I couldn't have a good conversation with her. Eric told her his mom is crying over everything these days.</p>
<p>They are going to feature him in the year end dance recital in some song and dance numbers, I think from the Music Man. He is keeping details a surprise for me.</p>
<p>mezzomom, Wow! What a momement in life, like from a movie.
Ericsmom, Don't you just love it when they give you a supprise in a performance!
Soozviet, I can't imagine what it must be like to have your D be performing and not be there, I guess I'll find out next year.</p>
<p>mezzomom - You've moved me (along with the whole CC board, I imagine) to tears. These are moments you'll treasure forever...</p>
<p>What a wonderful affirmation for your daughter, to know how much she is loved. And what a wonderful affirmation for you, as a mom, to know YOU raised such a child. For it was surely not only her extraordinary talent that drew those people to her senior recital; it was her extraordinary "spirit" and the love they obviously have for her which drew them as well. Being talented is a wonderful gift in itself, but the ability to touch others with your talent is what it's all about. Congratulations!!</p>
<p>Ericsmom: Don't you dare leave home without your crying towel until senior year is officially over!!!</p>
<p>The show is over, the set is down and all of the costumes are boxed to be returned to NY today. All signs that yes, it is all done and complete. I held it together, well, until my d was on stage, then just tears of pride...you all know that feeling. But, the moment I lost my composer was last night. It had been so long since she has been home during the evenings. Her and her dad were in the family room doing a sudoko puzzle...(they are addicting, aren't they?). Hearing the giggles, the debates on who is right, and the jesting when she was...well, that is when I got up, went in the bathroom and cried...realizing how very much her presence will be missed around here-how I will miss her, my daughter, my friend. So, while expecting this last hs musical to be a hard last event, it is the little subtle times that seems to affect me-out of the blue-the most.
Best to all this week of waiting for those final acceptances and notifacations...(I do not like the work rejection!) We are all so very blessed to have these wonderful kids, aren't we?</p>
<p>Oh those feelings sneak up don't they! I had a similar moment last night as well. Our S arrived home over the weekend for spring break (he's a college junior.) For the past few days I've had this wonderful feeling that all was right with my world! All four of us home, at the same time, what could be better?
As I watched the smiles and listened to the loving exchanges of conversation between my S and D - I was absolutely overwhelmed and had to take a few minutes to go have a good cry. Memories of the day we left our S at college flooded my mind and how life changed 3 years ago for us all...and thoughts of how it will soon be happening again.<br>
Notfromme - you chose the perfect word when you said your d's "presence" would be missed. Sure I will miss all the busy-ness of being involved in her many activities, our lunches etc. but when it comes down to it - the absence of my children's daily presence in my life is what I will miss most of all. Life is going to change, it will never again be the same. Nothing can stop it from happening...but if I look deep inside I wouldn't change that even if I could.<br>
OK, the tears are welling up again - what a way to start the morning!<br>
Wishing you all a great week ahead...best of luck as the acceptances and "notifications" arrive! (Notfromme - another perfect word!)</p>