My common app essay (prompt #2, about failure and whatever) is on the topic of shyness. I think I’ve approached it in a good way–not focusing on its negative aspects–but I still got deferred from my two early schools. Stats-wise and EC-wise, I’m a very competitive applicant, so I was wondering if this essay hurt me slightly.
I would really appreciate it if you take some time out of your day to critique this for me. Cheers!
I’m interested in reading this, pm me!
Sounds like an interesting approach! I’d read it
I don’t read essays, but a general comment on this. One of my kids is pretty shy. She did use it in an essay, but describing more as wanting to evaluate a situation before speaking up. I think coming right out and saying you are shy, even if you have worked to overcome it, maybe isn’t a great topic. It starts you off with admissions thinking you might not contribute as much on campus. (Before I get jumped on, I KNOW KNOW KNOW that shy people, quiet people are sometimes the greatest contributors in terms of ideas, inventions, quality work, etc!) But my experience is that admissions has lots of outgoing people in it, many of whom have never had a shy moment in their lives. (Yes, there are exceptions, but we have been to a LOT of admissions offices, and I bet 90% of the people we have met there are very outgoing). I think it would be hard to write an essay about being shy that makes admissions say, “Yes, I want to bring that person to campus!”. Because they don’t really want to know what you have overcome, even if the questions say so… they want to be able to say, this person adds THIS to our campus. If you have overcome shyness to be more like a “normal” person, how does that add to the mix on campus? Just some food for thought…
Are you shy (social anxiety) or an introvert (gain energy at times not in large groups).
Akk… let’s not go down that awful rabbit hole again.
yes i’m wiling to read it. just pm it to me. but i’m hoping you have time to edit my college essay as well.
Adcoms know kids can be shy and still make a great fit. On CC, we tend to focus on whether ED increases chances. But there are still lots of factors they look at and a deferral means they want to give you a fresh review in the RD pool. They didn’t “close you out” because of the essay. They kept you in the running because they liked enough of what you did present. Best wishes.
Hi! My essay is pretty much about my outgoingness, maybe I could give it a different outlook.
PM me.
Thanks for all your responses, guys! These last few days I experimented with a new topic (based on a recent experience), and I think turned out well. (Ironically, I feel like the fact that I had less time to write/edit this essay made it more “me,” in a way.)
I think I’ll stick with this new essay for the regular decision round. It’s not necessarily much better than my original one, but I do feel that it’s less risky. I’m sure there’s some merit to that.
sure I’m currently a sophomore at college. I would love to critique your essay