I decided to get a head start on my college application process and hopefully write them this summer. My GC told me a lot of colleges generally have the same essay prompt: a major event in your life and how it affected you.
I’ve been brainstorming for awhile and I came up with 2 ideas that I would be interested in writing about:
Idea #1- I volunteer at an elderly nursing home and became very close friends with Mr. G, a resident there. Mr. G and I liked to play chess together and we we didn’t talk much at first because he seemed like a pretty grumpy old man 
He eventually opened up to me and told me about immigrating to America, meeting his wife, watching his wife, parents, and other friends die years earlier, and other anecdotes about his life. I wanted to write about what he taught me about life (life is too short be afraid to do the things you want, appreciate what you have, honestly too many to count) and how he really gave me inspiration to satisfy my curiosity about things in the world because it’s what I love doing. (relate that to my major)
Concerns for idea #1: I hear you’re not really supposed to mention the volunteer work you do in essays, is that true? And I feel as though it will be a pretty depressing essay because I have to mention that Mr. G did die after a long, rewarding life due to age and
copd.
Idea #2- I got long term sickness my sophomore year in hs. This sickness caused me to spiral into a depression. You can see this in my grade trend as my GPA (uw) from freshman year was a 3.8 to a 3.4 my sophomore year. I want to explain how I overcame my depression and learned to appreciate my the life I do have even if it isn’t “perfect”. You can see this in my GPA as well: sophomore year 3.4, junior year 3.85ish.
Concerns for idea #2: I feel like I’ll sound too whiny, even if I do focus on overcoming my depression.
Personally, I would want to write about idea #1 more. I guess I want to thank Mr. G in some way for helping me and I definitely use his advice almost everyday of my life.
On the other hand, I think colleges might be off put by my unbalanced grades.
Both essays are very personal and that’s why I’m having trouble choosing between them. I feel like the are equally important parts of me.
Sorry for any typos and thanks for any feedback you give me!
1 for sure. Just make sure the majority of it is about YOU, not Mr. G. You're the one they're assessing.
No mental health issue topics, period. So #1 is better, but it might be hard to make it more about you than him, and make it interesting. You should check out all the common application essay topics (Google), there are more choices. You want to try to write a out something that is unique about you – your goal is to make them want you on campus. Don’t take the prompts too literally.
Remember, this isn’t a hs writing assignment for an English teacher. Adcoms want to learn about you, see how you think.
Where’d you get the idea kids can’t write about their vol work? You need to watch the assumptions, look at the real prompts, read up on what your colleges like to see. If Mr G gave you inspiration to explore, fine. But the essay, as others are saying, is Not His Bio. You don’t have to tell every bit of his story, don’t have to tell that he died. But you should show how you took this inspiration and did something. Show, not just tell.
@bodangles has good advice - make sure it’s about you and how your interactions with Mr. G impacted you. A common mistake is to write the essay that focuses on another person rather than yourself. #1 sounds like it will likely be a stronger (and more unique) topic.
There is a section on the app where you can put other important notes/comments and if you really wanted to explain something about the depression that would be a place you could do it. But a 3.4 really isn’t so negative it needs to be explained and bringing up past depression may make some colleges a little wary. If you choose to write something in this extra section it might be safest mention the sickness impacting your schoolwork.
Don’t use your essays to bring out excuses for a drop in GPA. My advice would be to write 2-3 essays that you have in mind, and see which one comes out the best. Sometimes, an idea may sound great in your head but on paper, you may not be able to present it accurately. For the first essay, focus on what YOU learned from Mr. G. It would be more effective if you reflected on the experiences, rather than just detailed the events.
Go with Mr. G. I think it helps to focus on things that helped you grow as a person or figure out something about life. Sounds like that happened and it’s interesting & shows you volunteered. That’s a winner.
This is NOT the way to do this. You can talk to your guidance counselor and ask if they can mention that you had an illness that year in their recommendation, but revealing mental health issues in the college admissions process is not helpful to your chances.
My child wrote on a bullying experience in which the constant bullying made my son punch the bully after six weeks of ignoring the taunting…he was empowered from this and does not promote violence. All teachers thought it was great but I wonder if it was the wrong essay for college admission. Thoughts?
At this point, I wouldn’t second guess, Bridgette. He may have phrased it successfully, made the right points.